


Like Father Like Son

by eternalglitch



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Brotherly Bonding, Electrocution, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The tone of the show yet much darker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 79,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22166836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalglitch/pseuds/eternalglitch
Summary: Draxum wasn't quite ready to give up on his plan to use the turtles as his ultimate weapons just yet. When Leo is taken by Draxum, it's up to the other three turtles to get their brother back before it's too late.Post episode The Evil League of Mutants.
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael & Splinter (TMNT), Leo & Raph & Mikey & Donnie
Comments: 559
Kudos: 2308
Collections: Read or Be Jared 19 Pick Your Poison





	1. Prologue: a Warrior Scientist's Musings

**Author's Note:**

> There's very few continuous Rise fics currently out that are what I am looking for, so here we are. Be the change you want to see I guess lol.  
> There's zero shipping whatsoever in this fic besides what is in the show itself. Also, I'm trying to keep the tone of the show but it does get pretty dark at times. I'll add tags as I go along.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Draxum was many things. He was a warrior and a scientist, for one. He was also very very persistent.

It was almost funny, that anyone would possibly believe that he would change at the drop of a hat after so many years spent planning the best possible way to protect his people. It had taken countless hours, no, countless _years_ to get to where he had, and one did not simply give up after that much hard work and effort just because someone said that they had an "easy way" out. No, Draxum knew his initial idea was the correct one, and he wasn't going to give up on that idea just yet. Certainly not because of some strange armor some _humans_ offered him.

However, as for his original plans… He had to admit, it was something of a shock. Thirteen years of nothing... and then, quite suddenly, everywhere he turned he started to see them. His creations. His weapons. Or, at least, shadows of what could have been.

He knew it, deep down. It would have worked. Had Lou Jitsu not foolishly stopped his experiment just after it had started, his turtles would have been unstoppable. Instead, after only a mere moment in the ooze, he was left with... _this_. It was bad enough that it crossed his mind to wipe the slate clean and start over, but Lou Jitsu was no longer in the picture. Draxum wasn't sure if he was even alive anymore, never mind where he would be if he was.

And so that led him back to the turtles.

Was there something salvageable left among the four idiotic children he had seen fumbling about? There had to be. His life’s work couldn’t have just been reduced to a complete waste of time like that. But, ridiculous as the four turtles were, they were also dangerous to his plans. Together they covered each other’s blind spots, allowing each other to get in his way before creating an escape route. Somehow their perceived _brotherly loyalty_ was a factor in why they were dangerous to Draxum… so it seemed he had to somehow break that factor.

Perhaps he could hit two birds with one stone, so to speak.

He wanted more weapons at his disposal, and also needed a way to break up those turtles. So, why not just… do some adjusting to one of the four? Finish making the turtle be what it was made to be? He could always pick the others off one by one, if the first one went well. And if it didn’t… well.

There’d only be three turtles left to deal with.

Draxum stood up, pacing back and forth as he rubbed his chin in thought. It was just a matter of which one to choose, then.

The one with the tendency to rush into things?

No, too attached, too willing to sacrifice himself for the other’s sake. If anything, he’d work best to pick the others off first and save him for later.

The one with technological capabilities?

Not what he was looking for. He wanted a real warrior… not some weaker subspecies that he tossed into the ooze with the others out of curiosity.

The smallest one?

Too soft and small. He wouldn’t hold up against the other three turtles in battle. Not to mention that he was surely too reckless and dumb to train any sense of stealth or planning into.

So that just left the snarky one. He wasn’t… a terrible choice. Sure, he was loud and obnoxious, but there were quick remedies for that. Ways to put him in his place. Not to mention, from what Draxum had observed, he not only had a lot of insecurities that Draxum could use to his advantage, the blue turtle’s odachi was also the main reason the turtles kept escaping his grasp, and he wasn't even that skilled with the weapon yet. 

Draxum turned his head, eyeing the half-asleep gargoyles on his shoulder. “Huginn, Muninn,” he said.

Two sets of red eyes blinked at him, taking a full two seconds for the two to snap to attention.

“I have a job for you.”


	2. Chapter One: a Night Like Any Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ha! Your loss, brother,” Donnie crowed, holding up the complete popsicle stick with a flourish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end scene's scenery here reminded me of the fight between Raph and Leo in the 2007 movie. It was originally a coincidence, but hey, I'll take it.  
> I'm gonna pretend like I didn't spend three days debating on making this present or past tense. Ah, writer problems.  
> Also, I wasn't expecting this fic to get more than two or three comments last chapter? Thanks everyone who commented! Glad to see other people also wanted this kind of content c:

“Ha! Your loss, _brother_ ,” Donnie crowed, revealing the last complete popsicle stick with a flourish.

Leo glowered at the half of a stick that was left in his hand, his brow furrowed as he stared at the stick like it would give answers as to why it had betrayed him so. “Why did we switch to drawing sticks for pizza runs? What ever happened to a good old game of rock-paper-scissors?”

“Mikey kept losing,” Raph said, already fishing one hand around inside of their collective pizza fund’s jar. “So I figured this would be a little more… fair.”

Mikey, perched on the table next to Raph, rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks flushing a bit as he looked to the side. Raph patted him encouragingly on the head as he pulled his other hand back out of the jar, counting up the coins in his palm.

“Fair? How is this fair _Donnie clearly cheated!_ ” Leo complained, jabbing an accusatory finger in Donnie’s direction. “Look at that- that look on his face! He clearly did something!”

“I would _never._ ” Donnie crossed his arms, raising one of his sharpie eyebrows in mock hurt. “And, really, Nardo? You were the one holding the sticks at the start. How would you propose I even did that? Where is your _proof_?”

“Well, what about ordering it in? What ever happened to that?” Leo pressed, waving his hands around in large, dramatic motions.

Mikey swung his feet forwards as he slid off of the table and landed on his feet with a small bounce. “It’s a pickup special night!” he said. “We get two whole pies for the price of one!”

“And so, of course, we ordered four,” Donnie deadpanned, typing something into his wrist watch. “Now, if you please, I estimate the pizza will be out of the oven in exactly eighteen minutes based on the last twenty times we ordered it, so be on your way now. Shoo shoo, go go.”

“But- couldn’t April-“ Leo kept trying, but Raph pried open Leo’s right hand and pressed the change into his palm.

“C’mon, Leo, the pizza’s gonna get cold. We did this fair and square.” He stared at Leo, putting on his puppy eyed pleading face, and Leo couldn’t exactly say _no_ to that look, now could he.

Leo sighed loud enough to make sure everyone heard it, but tucked the money away in his pouch. “ _Fine_ ,” he grumbled. Raph patted him encouragingly on the shell as Leo passed by to head for the nearest ladder to the surface. “But I call dibs on the first slice!” he called over his shoulder. He chuckled as he heard a faint “boo” echo behind him.

Leo approached the slightly rusty ladder that lead up to the nearest sewer lid, and glanced up at it. He reached for the first rung but hesitated, considering his options.

“Actually, let’s take a shortcut,” he murmured, unsheathing his sword in one smooth motion. His reflection winked back at him as he drew the sword forwards and started to carefully draw bigger and bigger circles in the air. With a soft crackle, a blue portal snapped into existence, vibrant and brimming with energy.

The only problem was that it was too small for Leo to feasibly fit through it.

“Fine,” he sighed, sheathing his sword. The portal winked out of existence, and Leo started to painstakingly ascend the ladder. “Looks like we’re doing this the old fashioned way.”

It was late, but New York still bustled on, lights making the alleyways and corners appear that much darker. Leo remained there, in that twilight area between the human and the yokai world, with a practiced ease as he ducked into an alleyway and scaled a drainpipe to get to the roofs.

He’d never admit it, but he didn’t actually mind going on these pizza runs. Sure, it was a bother, and he could be watching the Jupiter Jim movie that Donnie had no doubt resumed watching without him right now (of course, Raph would make sure they rewatched the parts Leo missed), but it was sometimes nice to just have some space. The feeling of his feet slapping against the buildings as he jumped from one to the next, the way the moon always looked bigger and brighter at this time… even the distant screeches of the weirdest things New York had to offer, like fake wizards or a small group of mutant silverfish or even that more recent group of flat earthers. It was comforting… it was familiar.

He made it to their favorite pizza place in record time, crouching low on the opposite rooftop as he scoped out the situation inside of the pizza parlor. “Couldn’t just get Hueso’s, could they,” he muttered, squinting as he tried to spy which pizza box set out had their names on it. “Just _had_ to make me figure out how to get the pizza from the “no mutants allowed” area.”

He spotted a stack of four boxes, one with a short word on top that maybe said either Leo or Raph; it was too far away to be sure. “Okay, this time for sure,” he muttered, drawing his sword again.

It was like a video game; wait for the waiter to pass, avoid the chef setting out more pizzas, aim, and… bingo! A blue portal popped up next to Leo and above the pizza boxes. He reached both hands in, fishing around for the edge of the boxes as he squinted against the blinding blue light suddenly right in his face. He felt the edge of the top box and followed it down, snatching the four hot boxes and pulling them against his chest. The portal started to shrink, and Leo threw the money from his pouch into it just before it vanished. They ate here far too often to be banned for dine and dashing.

It was rare to have four pizzas to carry though; normally there was just the one that they all split. Even if it was just paying for two tonight, Leo decided that dad must have been in a good mood. There was no way Raph had enough money for two pizzas stored up, they always ate through their pizza money the second they had any available. Perhaps he was just impressed that his four sons were genetically related to the movie star Lou Jitsu? That was definitely something worth celebrating.

Leo carefully picked up the four boxes, using his chin to press down on them to make sure they didn’t fall. He turned a bit, staring back at the multitudes of roof tops he now had to jump across with precious cargo. The smell of melted cheese was now heavy in the air, and his stomach growled loudly. Leo wilted, slumping over the boxes in his arms. “There _has_ to be a better way to do this,” he said. He glanced at his sword. “What do you say? Two outta three?”

The sword, of course, did not give a response, nor did it apparently feel like going for two out of three. After waving it around and cursing it a lot, Leo had to come to the conclusion that slowly jogging back was the only way to go.

It was painstakingly slow compared to the trip over, and the smell of the pizza made it feel that much more unbearable. Leo was so caught up in making sure his packages were delivered safely, however, that he remained unaware to the presence of two small gargoyles watching him from overhead.

“Hey there!” a voice chirped, and Leo startled, nearly tipping backwards into an alleyway he had just hopped over.

He glanced upwards, eyes flicking from place to place until his gaze landed on what he was looking for. Two small little black bodies, barely held aloft by small wings, greeted him.

Leo squinted at them, perplexed. “Do I know you?”

One of them flew forwards, his sharp little face nearly touching his. “Know us? Of course you know us! We’re Huginn—“

“-and Muninn,” the other added helpfully.

“Right, right. And Muninn,” the gargoyle continued. “And we’re the official henchmen of none other than-“

“Oh, wait, right,” Leo realized. “You’re Baron Draxum’s shoulder pads!” He whirled around, completely missing the slightly offended and proud looks on Huginn and Muninn’s faces as he focused instead on scanning the rooftops while his grip on the pizza boxes tightened.

Was Draxum here? Not that Leo was scared or anything- of course not- but, well, he didn’t exactly dream of fighting murderous mutants by _himself._

At this point, Leo realized the gargoyles were still talking, but it was too late to tune in now; if Draxum appeared, he wouldn’t be ideal to fight alone, especially while his stupid sword was on the fritz. The gargoyles had come closer to him now, and were hovering directly in his way. “Sorry, we’ll have a chat later; gotta go!” he shouted, shoulder checking the two gargoyles so they were sent spinning out of his way.

“Hey!” an indignant voice shouted as Leo leaped into the air, scrambling to not drop the pizzas as he dropped and rolled onto the next roof. He ended the roll clumsily on his back, rocking slightly as he skidded forwards on his shell, and had to use forwards momentum to leap back onto his feet. One pizza box slipped and he barely saved it from hitting the ground.

“What, not even a greeting? I thought you’d at least have the decency to stay and exchange a few words!” The voice was right behind him already, and Leo jolted, glancing backwards. Right. They _flew,_ of course he couldn’t lose them so easily.

“Wasn’t he supposed to be the funny one?” the other gargoyle asked from behind him.

Leo started running again, not allowing himself to stop and catch his breath. “Wow, my brothers really ordered rush delivery,” he managed to say in between gasps. He glanced over his shoulder and winced when he saw the two keeping up with his pace. Was he out of shape? No way. It must be him trying to balance _four_ pizza boxes while doing this.

At that thought, his eyes darted back down towards the pizza boxes, and Leo groaned as a very bad idea struck him. “Nooo don’t make me _choose,_ ” he whined, legs still pumping as fast as he could go while awkwardly holding everything. “You guys are the worst! Just for making me do this! You hear me?” he yelled over his shoulder at the two pests that were still right behind him.

He grabbed the top pizza box- _sorry Raph_ \- and threw it like a Frisbee at one of the gargoyles- Huginn, maybe? Really, they looked kind of the same to Leo. Huginn avoided it, his sharp little face grinning wider than he had already been doing. “Ha, you missed- _gah!_ ” He vanished into an alleyway beneath them, this time Donnie’s pizza acting as tribute.

“Ha _ha_!” Leo cheered. “Score one for the turtles! Donnie, you owed me for stealing my allowance last week anyways.” His gaze swung to the remaining gargoyle, whose eyes widened.

“Uh,” Muninn squeaked. “Can we maybe talk about this?”

The pizza box hit him in the face, and he tumbled into the alleyway after the other one. Leo paused, leaning over the edge of the building to watch Muninn crash right on top of Huginn, who had been trying to climb out of a dumpster. The force of the fall made the lid swing shut on top of both of them.

“Well,” Leo said, scratching the top of his head. “Talk about taking out the trash.” He glanced down at the remaining box in his hands. It was, not surprisingly, the box with his own name on it. “Aw man, the pizza though,” he groaned. “Maybe I overreacted to two flying rats- er, gargoyles. But they better not make me pay for it. This wasn’t my fault, obviously.” He pondered it for a moment, pacing on the rooftop before the thudding and distant cries of trapped gargoyles made him stop. He crouched down to stare at the dumpster before nodding. “Right. Well, they never need to know about this. If I just say that maaaybe there was like, _eight_ bad guys, or- or maybe even Baron Draxum himself, they won’t even be able to be mad! It only makes sense that I had to make sacrifices!”

“Oh, well, in _that_ case, maybe I can help you out.”

Leo reacted immediately, his hand shooting to his sword’s hilt as he unsheathed it and whirled to face Draxum behind him in one fluid motion. The yokai stared down at him, a smirk on his face, as he stepped down off of the purple roots that had lifted him onto the rooftop.

“I came here to ask you-“

“Absolutely not, I am _not_ facing you on a rooftop again,” Leo interrupted. He glanced down at the last pizza. “Sorry,” he whispered, before he wound his arm back and hurled the box at Draxum’s face. Clearly a pizza box assault was the last thing he was expecting, because the yokai just stood there and took the corner of the box right in between his eyes. The box crumpled and opened just enough for gooey cheese to cover his face, and, more importantly, his eyes.

Leo didn’t wait another second; he took off again, gripping his sword tightly as one hand fished around in his pouch for his cellphone. He furiously punched in the numbers and held the phone up by his earhole. “C’mon Raph, pick up the phone, pick up the phone, pick up the phone.” There was a moment where the ringing dial tone continued before Raph’s voice answered.

“Raph! Quick, I need- aaaaand that’s a recording,“ Leo realized as the pre-recorded message he had heard so many times continued. “Why didn’t I call _Donnie_? He’s the one always glued to his technology, Raph sometimes forgets to charge- whoAH HEY THAT’S NOT OKAY,” he yelped, skidding to a stop as purple roots burst from the cement right in front of him.

His momentum lost, his arms pin wheeled furiously as he attempted to turn and keep going. The roots shot towards him, and he jumped, landing on one before hopping onto the next. A grin grew on his face as he realized that he just had to keep moving, and he did a flip in the air before gracefully landing on the next one. “Annnd he sticks the landing!”

There was a cracking sound, and Leo’s face froze as his phone fell apart with a small tinkle of scattering glass and electronics. A smaller root had spearheaded his phone from behind, puncturing a perfect hole through the center.

“Wha- this was the worst welcome reception I’ve ever experienced!” Leo wobbled as the roots shifted, Draxum appearing just above him on another root. The yokai flicked off the last string of cheese from one of his horns, face almost expressionless as he stared down at Leo.

“There’s nowhere to run,” Draxum said, a smug smile finally crossing his lips. “Now, why don’t you make it easier for both of us and just come along quietly?“

Leo’s eyes darted towards his sword. “Oh, is that what you think?” he asked. “Because I’m just getting started!” He jumped, bringing the sword down on Draxum, who blocked it with one armored arm with ease. His orange eyes narrowed, and Leo had just enough time to brace himself before he was sent hurtling backwards, skipping across building tops like a pebble across water.

Leo finally stopped when he hit an advertising billboard with a cracking sound, denting the metal and sliding down into a seated position. The familiar sound of cars and chatter cut off, a loud ringing sound filling Leo’s head instead. He blinked a few times, opening his eyes to stare up at the clear night sky. To the rest of New York, it was just a night like any other, but right now... “Ugh,” he groaned, pressing one hand to his temple. He felt sick and dizzy, and through a blurry gaze he could see Draxum gliding towards him on his roots. Leo tried to stand, but his legs shook, and the urge to throw up only seemed to grow with each movement. He wobbled, and had to use his sword as a crutch to prop himself up. “I knew fighting him up here was a bad idea,” he muttered.

Through the ringing, Draxum’s voice took on a sinister tone, the yokai approaching Leo slowly, as a cat cornered its prey. “That wasn’t very impressive, was it?” he asked. He tilted his head, still staring at Leo. “Want to try that again?”

“No,” Leo managed to get out, leaning against the bulletin board. “But I am willing to try _this._ ” With a shaking arm he used his sword to draw a circle in the air between him and Draxum. The portal burst into life, small, but not small enough that it wouldn’t work. For once, Leo didn’t even care if he got the destination right; he just moved, only able to focus on getting away. He dived through the portal, arms outstretched as he made a last ditch desperate attempt to get the hell out of dodge. And, for a second, he thought he made it, the familiar sewer air kissing his face as he made it through the portal. He even managed to portal home, too, with what felt like a concussion on top of everything else going on. His brothers would be impressed once they hear about his adventurous night out, Leo thought, woozy but pleased.

He turned to watch the portal snap shut, but then he felt it- a hand on his ankle, nails digging into his skin, a grip tightening and tightening until it hurt and with his already bad balance Leo was easily being yanked _backwards_ , the sword clattering to the floor besides him, and he was being pulled back through his own portal-

He scrambled blindly at the floor, searching for something to grab onto, but he couldn’t reach anything; he needed help-

Where is everyone-

 _This is bad bad bad_ -

“Guys?!” Leo yelled, kicking at the hand. He saw stars. “Anyone? Da-!”

And the portal disappeared, almost as if it had never been there.

Only a sword remained, forgotten on the sewer floor.


	3. Chapter Two: Draxum's Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And yet you…. You aren’t filling your role at all, are you? You were meant to be the leader…” Draxum trailed off, rubbing his chin. “So I’m curious how you screwed up so miserably,” he finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some fun head-canons I slipped into this chapter.  
> Keep in mind that this takes place post episode 13, so Splinter is a good dad he's just... well. He's doing his best.  
> Also lol all the reviews excited for this chapter- hope the angst is living up to what you want. You guys helped me churn this out so much faster than I thought I would! Don't worry, the comfort will come... eventually.

Splinter rummaged through the fridge, searching diligently for his tub of sour cream. He hummed to himself, tail waving as he clutched the bag of potato chips in one hand and tried to grab at the half-empty tub in the way back of the fridge. His arms were too short, though, as with every attempt he made, the sour cream slid away from his nails and became that much harder to reach. Ah, well. He supposed this is what having four taller kids was all about.

“Boys!” he called, wandering back into the television room from the kitchen. He spotted them easily enough; they were all clustered around his chair, armed with a dozen different blankets and pillows. Or, wait: one, two, three… where was Blue? Splinter turned to look at the clock, and he frowned, puzzled. It was 8:30 pm, and yet there was no tell-tale smell of pizza or dirty boxes lying scattered around.

“Boys,” he repeated again, softer. “Weren’t you supposed to order pizza?”

There was another moment of silence from them, Splinter only answered by the distant chatter of television superstars and loud sound effects backed by upbeat music. Then Purple blinked, his gaze darting to meet Splinter’s own before he turned back to the television. “Yeah, yeah,” Purple answered, eyes glued to the screen. “Leo’s on it.”

Orange blinked, the first to shake himself from his movie stupor. “Wait,” the youngest said, frowning. He got up, looking around for something... or someone. Did he also feel like something was wrong? “Wasn’t that like, an entire hour ago? We’re on the fifth movie of this arc, we started on the fourth.”

“Eh, hard to tell with autoplay,” Purple commented, waving a hand dismissively. “They all seem to blend together.”

“An hour,” Splinter repeated. He pushed down his fear, keeping his expression calm. Young and inexperienced as they may be, his sons were large, powerful mutants. They had gone largely unknown to anyone except their little human friend, and Splinter couldn’t think of any enemies out to get them. Two faces flashed in his mind, and Splinter shook his head slightly. No, any of his own enemies thought he was dead. Blue probably just got lost or distracted, and the others could go get him, easy. An hour wasn't that long, just twenty minutes longer than usual... but still...

“Maybe it just took Leo a while to get back while carrying the pizzas,” Red suggested, unknowingly following Splinter’s same line of thought, but the eldest had also stood up, his brow furrowed. "Or the deal for cheap pizza made the place so busy that the pizzas are taking forever? That happens sometimes, right?" 

“Ugh, you’re making a big deal out of nothing, I’m sure,” Purple groused. “He’s done this hundreds of times.” The soft-shelled turtle, however, still hit pause on the movie, and joined his brothers in standing. “If I had known this would happen, I would’ve just sent a drone or something. You’d think that with a teleporting sword he’d be a bit quicker about it.”

“Not now, Donnie,” Red said, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot. “Pop’s right; it’s been a suspicious amount of time. It wouldn’t have taken him forty minutes just to get back here. We need to go and search for him.”

“You- you think something bad happened to him?” Orange asked, his voice small.

Splinter smiled, patting his youngest on the shoulder. “No need to worry, Orange, I’m sure Blue would have called if anything was seriously wrong. Why don't you three go out and find your brother, I’ll stay here and call if he shows up.”

“Good idea, Dad,” Red agreed. “C’mon guys, let’s go.”

Splinter watched his sons all walk off, the three chattering quietly amongst themselves. Orange was clearly anxious already, but Purple and Red were doing a decent job of keeping their cool, their only giveaways Red’s constant checking that his other two siblings were still there and Purple refusing to look up from his wrist tech, probably already trying Blue's cell phone. Splinter stood there, watching his sons until they were all out of sight, before he climbed into his reclining chair and popped open the bag of chips.

Nothing to do but wait, he supposed.

* * *

* * *

Being captured was, in one word, boring.

Sure, there were the constant pressing worries of _what next_ and _will the others notice I’m gone soon?_ that plagued one’s mind, but really, Leo just felt kind of nauseous. Draxum’s lab was stupidly bright to him at the moment, and all he really had the energy to do was lay on the ground and stare up at the green vines that formed the bars of his tiny cell.

It wasn’t exactly comforting to be stuck against the thing that _exploded_ but a few weeks ago, but Leo had initially expected that he’d be out of here within an hour or two. But it had been more than four hours, it was late, and _oh yeah_ , not only did he have a concussion, it wasn’t like there was a way for him to see a doctor (or just Dad or Donnie) in the current situation he was all wrapped up in. Like one giant turtle-shaped present.

There was a creaking sound as the door opened again, followed by footsteps- Draxum’s from the sound of it, or someone wearing tap shoes. There was a snarky retort to be made somewhere in there, Leo was sure, but he had the worst headache to deal with right now.

A shadow fell over Leo’s face and he scowled, forcing his aching body into a sitting position despite everything. He hunched over, keeping his shell facing Draxum, and glared at the wall. “Well aren’t you behaving now,” Draxum said, too close for Leo’s comfort. “I had almost thought I had grabbed the wrong turtle, from how you _bit_ me earlier.”

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” Leo muttered, turning his head just enough to give Draxum the stink eye. He noticed that the two gargoyles had made it back; they each perched on a shoulder, snickering to themselves. “You learn to fight dirty sometimes when you have three brothers. And, speaking of which, my brothers are sure to have already have noticed my absence; I bet they’re coming here right now and are going to be kicking your sorry butt in no time,” he said. “So I’d let me go now if I were you.”

“Oho, what fire,” Draxum said, chuckling slightly. He crossed his arms, giving Leo a patronizingly fake look of understanding. “I’m _sure_ they will. I’m _sure_ they noticed you were gone and immediately realized that was a _bad_ thing for them.”

There’s something in Draxum’s voice that Leo didn’t like, a feeling that sent something cold down his spine. _Don’t fall for it, Leo,_ he thought furiously, determined not to show any weakness to his captor. But it was too late; his shoulders had tensed ever so slightly, and when he met Draxum’s gaze, he knew the warrior scientist hadn’t missed it. Draxum didn’t move, his smirk only widening.

“What,” Leo managed to say. “Do you mean by that?”

What a stupid comment. Of course his brothers had noticed he was missing! Leo had been getting pizza, they would’ve been on high alert at all times. And, much as they fought, his brothers cared about him. A lot. What did this jerk know, anyways?

Draxum shrugged, straightening up to his full height. He sneered down at his captive audience. “Maybe your “brothers” will notice you’re gone and be glad for it. Maybe they’ll think, ‘ah, the extra weight is gone-’”

“They wouldn’t!” Leo shot back, getting to his feet. He swayed, dizzy, before he regained his balance. He couldn’t stand at his full height, so he had to awkwardly remain bent forwards as Draxum loomed over him. “What do you know, anyways? You’ve met us, what, three times?”

“And yet I created you.” Draxum’s eyes narrowed, his face tilting so it was mostly covered by shadows. “I know so much more about you then you would ever dream of; I’m practically your parent.”

“Wow, you are messed up,” Leo said, raising his brow as he let out a short bark of amusement. “Like, do you hear yourself, dude? You owe Dad like thirteen years of child support before you can even _begin_ to make that claim.”

The green vines suddenly shuddered and Leo flinched away, leaning back as the bars of his cage slid back into the ground, leaving the space between him and Draxum open. The yokai didn’t move towards him, however, instead tilting his head to look up at the pillar that contained more mutagen behind Leo. “A father, you say?” Draxum mused. “I wondered what kind of yokai or human took you in. Clearly he didn’t know what he was doing, though; you’ve been trained all _wrong_.”

“Yeah?” Leo asked. He hesitantly straightened up, stepping gingerly over where the vines had been. Was this a trap? He kept sneaking glances at Draxum, waiting for the yokai to suddenly attack him. But there wasn’t anything, so Leo awkwardly stood there, eyes flitting over the nearby walls as he kept an eye out for every available exit. It would be hard to move too quickly with the concussion, but he would just have to do it. He just had to wait for an opening. “But oh, I don’t know, I’d say I turned out great,” he added, hoping to prompt the villain into a long, distracting spiel. “You’ve seen what I can do with my Odachi.” 

“That is little more than buffoonery and luck half of the time,” Draxum snapped, turning his head to track Leo’s movements. “I’m talking about being _more_ that just that.” The two gargoyles were both watching Leo with their bright red eyes, and the turtle shifted uncomfortably. “You know I designed you specially,” Draxum suddenly said, looking back at the ooze, oblivious as to how Leo was inching his way backwards around Draxum and creeping towards the exit doors. “Unlike the current generation of mutants, my ooze didn’t transform based on _existing_ character traits; it was meant to do the opposite and give you specific ones. It’s why I used simple-minded animals, rather than the other way around,” he revealed. “Lou Jitsu with a bit of snapping turtle DNA would have been formidable, of course, but that wouldn’t have made him perfect. And you, you four were meant to be _perfect._ ”

“Uh… okay?” Leo asked. He took another step backwards when the yokai's head snapped towards him and stared him down, cold anger flickering in his eyes. Leo froze where he was standing, trying in vain to act like he hadn’t been trying to move across the room. He cast a discreet glance behind him, swallowing. Just a bit more. “Let me take a wild guess; things didn't go according to plan.”

“It was a disaster! I mean, really?” Draxum gestured at Leo, who shifted, trying to keep the door behind him from Draxum’s view so the yokai wouldn’t think too hard about what he was up to. “Not only did it take all four of you turtles thirteen _years_ to get to the optimal size, just look at _you_ in particular. The biggest failure of the lot.”

Leo’s mouth fell open. He blinked at Draxum, confused. Him? A failure? That was ridiculous. He and his brothers were all _awesome,_ and they had a father that loved them and a best friend that didn't care what they looked like. He shouldn’t listen. He knew he really shouldn’t listen, but… “What do you mean by that?” he demanded, his voice tight. How did that old saying go? Curiosity killed the cat? Well, make it a turtle, because Leo was officially an idiot. 

“Were you not listening? I gave you all roles, advantages for the battlefield,” Draxum mused. “And yet you…. You aren’t filling your role at all, are you? You were meant to be the leader…” Draxum trailed off, rubbing his chin. “So I’m curious how you screwed up so miserably,” he finished.

Leo felt cold.

“You- you’re bluffing,” he stammered, for once unable to think of a quick retort. “ _Me?_ Leader? That’s a joke. I’m not leadership material, _no_ part of me is leadership material! I’ve never wanted that! There’s no way I was intended to be—“

“Well.” Draxum cut him off, and with a gesture of his hand the doors behind Leo suddenly slammed shut with a loud crack. He jumped, whirling to look at his exit. Muninn and Huginn grinned back at him, giving each other a high five. “What are you even good for, then?” Draxum finished, now right behind him.

Leo spun back around to keep an eye on him, his eyes shooting to the large pipe on the second story area. Since they had entered the lab that way the last time, Leo was pretty sure that meant he could get out that way as well. His eyes drifted back to the imposing figure right before him, and Leo gave him an uneasy smile. “I’m- I’m plenty useful! I’m the- y’know, the, the face man!”

“The face man,” Draxum repeated, looking entirely unimpressed. “I should’ve known to take one of the others; it’s not like you’d be of any use to me. You’re the weakest of the bunch, after all.”

That first part of the comment was enough to make any thoughts of escape slip away from Leo in one go. The red-eared slider shrank back, breath stuttering in his throat. “What? No. No, stay away from my brothers!” Leo demanded. His eyes narrowed. “If you dare hurt one of them, I’ll show you how I’m—“

“Useful?” Orange eyes met his own, and Leo tried and failed to nervously swallow. His throat felt uncomfortably dry. “Why don’t you prove it, then? I’ll give you one final chance. Join me. We can put a stop to the human threat, and you’ll see the _true_ potential you can achieve.”

“Uh. Wait. _What_?” Leo asked dumbly. Draxum just watched him, expression expectant. “Dude. I should’ve guessed! This was all just another villain pitch! But again. _Roof,_ ” Leo stressed. “Now _multiple_ roofs.” He shook his head, trying to clear his head of Draxum’s words. “Wait, I know this game. You’re… you’re manipulating me! Like Donnie, when he wants me to get extra juices for him and goads me into going!” Leo gave Draxum the most unimpressed look he could manage. “This was all just to get under my shell, wasn’t it? You really have the worst approach to making friends that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve watched _Donnie_ try and socialize before.”

“So is that a no?” Draxum clarified.

Leo chuckled. “Uh yeah, no _duh_ it’s a no. I’m not getting in on an evil villain membership card anytime soon, thank you very much.” His head throbbed and Leo suppressed a wince. “Now, it has been a _very_ long day, and much as I’d love to stay for tea…” It was now or never; Leo tensed his muscles, ready to bolt for it.

“Hm, a pity,” was all the warrior scientist said, suddenly stepping back. In actuality, he didn’t look all that disappointed. “For you, that is.”

“What—“ Leo managed to say before he yelped, thick purple vines bursting up from the ground and lithely wrapping around each of his limbs and his torso. He hadn’t even seen Draxum move to do that, and he struggled in vain to free himself. “Hey! This is so not cool!”

“Huginn,” Draxum said, turning away from Leo. “Bring that to me.”

“Right away, Boss!” the gargoyle chirped, shooting off into the distant corner of the lab.

Well, that wasn’t worrisome at _all._ Leo gave up struggling, his futile efforts making him feel nauseous and dizzy all over again. “For the record, I was only caught because I have a concussion,” he insisted. “If I had my sword and was in top shape, you’d be regretting this right now!”

“I’m sure,” Draxum dryly replied. “And what happened when you had all of that earlier today?”

“Uh,” Leo said. He averted his eyes. “Well…”

“That’s what I thought. But don’t worry,” Draxum said, sharing a knowing glance and chuckle with Muninn. “I’ll fix all of that soon enough.”

“Here, Boss!” Huginn darted back across the room, wings straining, as he carried a very… familiar…

“Uh, wait up, no,” Leo said, eyeing the blue object as Huginn dropped it into Draxum’s waiting hand. “Do you even know where that thing’s _been_? Have you properly washed it at least?”

Draxum’s roots suddenly shift, dragging Leo upright until he’s forced to stand on his tip-toes to have any sort of purchase. “I happened to have had it offered to me by the mutant that you call Meat Sweats,” Draxum said, admiring the collar (for that’s what it actually was, even if Leo had never called it that when it was just a gift from his brother) in the light. “He was quite helpful once I mentioned what I wanted to use it for.” Draxum started to approach, the collar held aloft.

“So, what,” Leo bit out. “You’re gonna stop me from saying my one-liners? Big whoop.”

“I think you’ll find,” Draxum coolly said. “That this has been modified to do so much more than that.” Leo was yanked closer, and Draxum pulled the collar down over Leo’s head. Leo struggled, glancing down at it for a moment in panic and then back up at Draxum’s grin as the collar let out a soft beeping sound and suddenly tightened, becoming two sizes smaller so that it was pressed snug against Leo’s skin. Well, that was new.

“What—“ Leo started to demand, but the collar suddenly crackled to life. A shock five times worse than anything Donnie had ever tried traveled through Leo’s body and hit him in the chest like a sledgehammer, the vines releasing him so he collapsed on the floor in a twitching ball of pain. He whimpered, and the shock occurred again, somehow worse this time. He choked down yet another gasp of pain as his body instinctively curled in on itself, his hands uselessly clawing at his throat as he desperately wheezed for breath. There was nothing but white static for a moment, and when Leo came to, he was on his knees, head bowed before Draxum. He gagged, wiping spit from his mouth. The pain receded, but Leo’s body remained locked up, his mind muddled.

“Careful,” Draxum said, the tip of his hoof prodding Leo in the side. The turtle slowly looked up, shoulders shaking slightly. The look on Draxum’s face was not unlike looking up at a predator that knew its prey was all out of stamina. “If you make any noise while being shocked,” Draxum continued, the two gargoyles settling back on his shoulders and openly laughing at Leo. “It’ll go off again.”

The collar was tight.

But Leo’s throat was now too dry for him to be able to swallow, anyways, as Draxum started to laugh.


	4. Chapter Three: All Green and Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey let out a small sound in the back of his throat, bending down to pick up the Odachi by its hilt, hands shaking slightly. His reflection stared back at him, eyes wide and face a paler shade of green than was normal, pale enough that he could actually see his yellow freckles that oh so rarely showed up. “Guys?” he whispered. “Has Leo ever gone out without his weapon?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2:30 am, forgive me for any mistakes in grammar this chapter might have. I shall fix those later if needed haha. 
> 
> Please note I bumped the rating up to Teen because of abusive behavior and the effects from it. If you've read this far, I'm sure you guys have figured out what kind of stuff will be popping up. Again, not going /much/ worse than last chapter, but yup. 
> 
> ALSO the comments last chapter were hilarious. My favorite chapters are ones where half the comments are excited and the other half just scream at me. 10/10 you guys are great. You CANNOT tell me that the shock collar doesn't have fantastic angst potential, because the moment I saw that episode... this was bound to happen SOMEDAY. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“He’s not picking up. Why isn’t he picking up?!” Mikey demanded, looking up from his phone. The youngest couldn’t help but shift from foot to foot, a sort of buzzing energy from his anxiety making him want to _move_. Why couldn’t his brothers walk faster?

“Yeah, it is odd he wouldn’t answer either of us…” Donnie agreed, squinting at his wrist tech. “I can’t locate his phone’s location, either. It’s either out of battery or broken.”

Finally, Mikey thought with relief, Raph’s pace noticeably quickened, his brothers right on his heels. “Okay… okay. First, we’re gonna backtrack the possible routes to the pizza place, and then we’re going to check any place he could have ended up. Donnie?” The leader of the group glanced at the purple turtle, gaze expectant.

“On it, I’ll hack any nearby cameras and run a scanner through social media looking for buzzwords,” the technological prodigy replied, typing quickly. “I’ll compile a list of people that might’ve gone after him as well.”

“People that went after him?” Mikey asked, now even more nervous, his voice rising a pitch or two until it cracked completely. “You think the foot clan or Big Mama is behind this? What if they’ve hurt him?” Mikey reached out and clung to Donnie’s elbow, staring over at Donnie’s screen as stats whizzed by. The other turtle tolerated it, but didn’t stop typing to pat his shell or head. That was a sign things really _were_ serious. “What if he’s all alone and scared or… or I don’t know! I can’t even begin to picture him being scared!”

“Again, Michael, I’m sure it’s really nothing, we’re just being thorough—“ Donnie finally started to reassure him, but his eyes never moved from the screen until a loud clatter rang out. Donnie froze, Mikey almost stumbling as he was also pulled to a sudden stop. They looked down.

Leo’s sword was lying, innocently forgotten, all alone on the sewer floor.

Mikey let out a small sound in the back of his throat, bending down to pick up the Odachi by its hilt, hands shaking slightly. His reflection stared back at him, eyes wide and face a paler shade of green than was normal, pale enough that he could actually see his yellow freckles that oh so rarely showed up. “Guys?” he whispered. “Has Leo ever gone out without his weapon?”

“I’m sure there’s a reason… or… or an explanation,” Donnie grasped at, but after he glanced at Raph, who shot him a panicked look, Donnie bowed his head, his eyes flicking back and forth as he thought. 

It was Raph who spoke next, his voice low and urgent. “If something did go down- someone must’ve been _inside_ of the sewers- I’m not sure Leo even made it outside for the pizzas in the first place.” The eldest scratched his head, his expression slowly darkening.

“So they came here purposefully looking for us and somehow we didn't even notice them brothernap Leo from right here?” Mikey looked around at the ground, eyes flicking up and down the sewer walls like the name of the culprit would be left behind with a clean, neat note. He needed someone to tell him flat out that it was going to be okay, he realized weakly, hugging the sword close. Someone to crack a bad joke about the situation, or know what to say. He needed… he needed his _brother_.

“I’ll call April,” Raph said, phone already out. He already had her number pulled up as well, finger hovering over the green button to call. “We’ll need eyes in every possible place, including checking to see if this was on Leo’s way to or from the pizza place.”

“I now have generated the list of most likely suspects,” Donnie added, pulling up a screen that had a numbered list of the names of their many yokai nemeses. At the top of the list were the various yokai that constantly fought with them on the regular, and the list continued down until it ended with a Warren Stone, although Donnie must have added him just to be safe; in reality, Mikey barely remembered the guy. “It looks like the first name my algorithm came up with is those mutant crabmen we came across recently- apparently they sometimes linger in this area.”

Raph nodded, pulling his phone away from his tympanum and giving them a thumbs up. “April’s in,” he confirmed. The way he said it was heavy; the air shifted, and the panic is forced down until Mikey only has to concentrate on being efficient and focused. “Now, Mad Dogs; let’s move.”

* * *

* * *

The floor framed between Leo’s hands was swimming; sweat dripped down and splattered onto the negative space that the floor was made up of, and he was dimly aware that his arms shook under the pressure of holding himself up. _Get up_ , he told himself. _Get up, you have to do something. Anything. Just get up, Leonardo._

“Get up,” Draxum echoed his sentiment, voice expectant.

The repeat was like a slap to the face; Leo could only lift his chin to stare at him, a bitter laugh being swallowed before it escaped his lips. Sure, he knew _he_ needed to do that, but it seemed a bit ridiculous for the guy with the metaphorical big red button to ask him to as well. He had a concussion and had just been _fried_ ; what did Draxum expect him to do-

The collar let out a shrill buzzer sound, and Leo only had a split second to think _what?_ before the collar lit up for a third time. His arms gave out and he hit the ground hard, and even though he _knew_ what would happen if he screamed, he couldn’t help but do so anyways. The result was exactly as expected. His mouth felt dry.

“Don’t you think the shock’s intensity is too high, Boss?” one of the gargoyles asked from above him. Leo couldn’t see which one; stars danced in front of his hazy vision. “He looks kinda dead after just four zaps.”

“Yeah. And it’s probably going to take a lot of these shocks for it to sink in,” the other agreed. “He keeps making it worse.”

Draxum scoffed, and Leo flinched slightly at the sound, hands weakly rising to shield his head from any more attacks. “Well. I just set it to what he _should_ be strong enough to take. It’s his own fault for being weak. He’s lucky; I don’t have the advanced setting on yet.”

Leo felt Draxum’s nails dig into his bicep as the yokai reached down and hauled him up to his feet, Leo swaying as he tried to lean away from the yokai. “Stay still,” Draxum ordered, and Leo bit down hard enough on his inner cheek he tasted copper, barely accomplishing the feat.

Draxum circled him, hands clasped behind his back. Leo’s head felt foggy, and he didn’t even bother watching Draxum; his head kept drooping forwards, like when he was watching Donnie’s favorite Jupiter Jim movie without Raph around to liven things up. Everything hurt so badly. His hands wrapped around himself and Leo shrunk a bit under Draxum’s assessment.

“You’re slower to catch on than I would have thought,” Draxum said after a moment. “But let me spell it out now, just for the sake of ‘ _fairness,’_ ” he added with his fingers punctuating the last word with air quotes. “The collar has three things that you will be shocked for. Any vocalizations, or any failure to follow my exact orders as well as… well. I could always just order it to go off.” Leo flinched, his fists tightening. Was Draxum _enjoying_ this? April had taught them the meaning of the word sadistic at one point, after their first prank day on her where no one had told her it was coming. And that was the only word Leo could think of at the moment when he glanced up and into Draxum’s eyes.

This was sadistic.

“It was quite the impressive invention, really,” he continued. “Somehow a simple shock collar had a complicated A.I. that understood the situation at hand enough to correct situational humor. Not to mention it didn’t even need to feel the vocal chords vibrating; it could be programmed to listen for a certain individual’s voice and go off regardless of if it was being worn or not. A bit overkill, if you ask me, but who am I to judge?” A smug smile crossed his lips. “Your brother must have felt quite strongly about this to have put so much work into fixing your _flaws_.”

He didn’t know anything, Leo told himself. Donnie was just _like that_ , he had made his dorky and kind of insensitive gifts for _everyone,_ he hadn’t been trying to single Leo out or anything. Of course not. Even if Mikey and Raph’s inventions hadn’t caused them any harm at all when they used them, just tried to prematurely stop them from doing it. Even if Leo and Donnie were the main two that squabbled, he never would have… Leo shook his head, one hand slowly rising to press against his forehead.

He couldn’t think like this, he needed to bounce his ideas off of someone for it to be useful. Had Dad ever taught him what to do in a situation like this? A quick scan through memories of Splinter handing him his first pair of swords, of noodle fights and throwing stars, and the only thing Leo could come up with was the advice “stay with your brothers. You will protect all of them, and they in turn will all protect you. And if you get separated, stay in one spot until we can find you.”

Yeah, great, but that advice had been from when Leo was _seven._ When Splinter had first let them wander a bit farther into the sewers to explore with just the four of them. This wasn’t getting lost in the sewers, this was- this was something more. He was starting to have to face the knowledge that this was something serious, even.

“Pay attention when I am speaking!” Draxum suddenly snapped, and Leo went rigid when the collar let out a low, almost inaudible chirp, his eyes darting down to where he could see the blue rim of the machine before back up to Draxum. The collar didn’t otherwise react, though, but Leo kept still, wondering when the proverbial shoe would drop. “How will I teach you anything if you keep zoning out?”

“It miiiiiight be the concussion,” Muninn offered, one hand on his chin. “We’ve seen a few guys get hit before, Boss, and they also had that spacey look to them.”

Draxum threw up his hands. “Well, he should learn to deal with that. Injuries are something to be powered through.” The yokai took a deep breath, and the two gargoyles dipped as his shoulders slowly became less tense. “But. Very well. Before I forget, a few rules,” he said, voice suddenly back to the flavor of ‘calm with an undertone of smugness.’ AKA the most punchable tone of voice Leo had ever heard. “No trying to escape from me.” The collar let out a soft beep and Leo winced. “No trying to take the collar off.” Another wince. “And, other than attacking, absolutely no contact with any other _turtles_.” What? That wasn’t- he couldn’t just _do_ that. Leo opened his mouth, keen to argue, but Draxum just raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and waiting.

On second thought, Leo had nothing to say. His hands curled into tight fists.

“Excellent. And now that I have…” Draxum trailed off, pausing. He fixed Leonardo with a puzzled gaze. He leaned closer to Muninn, holding up one hand to loudly whisper to the gargoyle. “What was this one called, again?”

Muninn blinked, turning and glancing at Huginn, who shrugged back at him. “Uh… ha, wow, Boss, wait, you don’t know?” The gargoyle asked, chuckling nervously. “Didn’t you hand pick him, though?”

Draxum’s eyes widened, slightly flustered. “No! Well, yes. But…” All three villains turned and stared at Leo, who crossed his arms as he stared back at them, lifting his chin slightly in a challenge. This guy had been after them long enough to at least know their nicknames, he thought, somehow still finding it within him to be annoyed.

“Wasn’t it… Larry or… Lawrence?” Huginn weakly offered up, but Draxum rested his chin in one hand, thinking.

“No, it wasn’t that. What was it again…” Draxum trailed off, frowning.

Muninn suddenly perked up. “Hey, wait, why don't we _ask_ him? Hey, turtle! What’s your name?” he yelled, and Leo felt one of his eyes twitch. He glanced down at his shock collar, and both gargoyles made little ‘oooooh’ sounds of understanding.

“That’s right, it was Green!” Draxum suddenly said, hitting his fist into the palm of his other hand. He smiled, brushing some of his hair over his shoulder. “I remember now, how silly of me to have forgotten.”

“What? But- but he’s the one wearing _blue_.” Huginn darted around Leo, pulling at the bandana tails behind his head. It was a light touch, but even just that made Leo sway, his arms having to slightly go forwards as he forced himself to stay standing. He didn’t know if he would be shocked again if he fell, but from the way black dots swam in Leo’s vision, he couldn’t afford to risk it. “I don’t know, Boss, I think his name would be Blue if he’s named after a color.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure of it,” Draxum declared as Leo weakly shooed the gargoyle away from him with one hand. “It was definitely Green. Besides, that’s but a small detail. I could call him whatever I wanted, really. More importantly, we need to decide how to go about making him my ideal warrior before any of the _others_ show up.”

Leo flinched, one hand absently reaching up to rub at the collar. The skin underneath it already felt raw and uncomfortable; he wondered if it was going to leave scars.

He then wondered if he’d ever be able to even see if it had.

“Ooh, why don’t we inject him with some more ooze?” Muninn suggested, clasping both hands together excitedly, wings fluttering as he hopped slightly into the air. “That seems to make everything better! Think of the possibilities: spikes, a tail, and our personal favorite—”

“Fire-breathing!” The two gargoyles sung at the exact same moment.

“A tempting idea, but no,” Draxum said, shaking his head. “Physically speaking, his body is as good as I had hoped for, it’s the rest of it that’s the issue. Respect and obedience should come naturally with the aid of that collar, but as for training techniques…” Draxum circled Leo yet again; was he _trying_ to make him dizzy enough to fall over? “With the level of sheer incompetence that I’ve witnessed, it would take far too long for me to train him myself from scratch. And I don't trust you two to be in charge of it, either…”

“Ouch, Boss,” Muninn said, one hand over his heart. “That really hurts.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Huginn flapped harder, shooting over to Draxum. “We actually know exactly how to do this! I mean, not to flex or anything, but Muninn and I did do our fair share of training in school.”

“Uh,” Muninn stammered, looking lost, but a quick elbow from Huginn and he blinked and also smiled at Draxum. “Yeah, absolutely. So…” he trailed off, shooting his friend a nervous glance.

“What faster way to train someone than to just give them a bunch of experience! You know, the good ole ‘learn as you do’ method!” Huginn finished with a flourish.

“Hmm, you do have a point,” Draxum considered. He stopped walking. “Surprisingly.”

“Why thank you,” Huginn trilled, bowing.

Draxum’s gaze went back onto Leo, who couldn’t help but shrink away, hands nervously reaching up to hold onto the top of his plastron. “And that gives me the perfect idea…”

* * *

* * *

“Draxum!” Raph bellowed, kicking open the door, Mikey and Donnie flanking him on either side. The turtle huffed, glancing around the lab as he searched for his target.

The third name on Donnie’s list had to be it, right? Surely. It had taken them far too long to hunt down the Sando Brothers and force them to tell them anything, and the next yokai they had tried had had similar results. April hadn’t found anything, either, but the pizzas _had_ been paid for so… so…

Ugh! Raph couldn’t put these pieces together right now. He just needed to find his younger brother and save him from whatever mess he had found himself in this time.

There was the sound of slow clapping, and the sheep yokai appeared from around the column of ooze, one gargoyle perched on his right shoulder. “Well, well,” he greeted them, a smile on his face. “It’s quite rare for you turtles to come and seek me out. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Cut the cr—“ Donnie started to say, but Mikey beat him to it, bounding in front of his brothers. Raph almost reached out to pull him back, but he stopped himself; he understood Mikey’s point of view enough that he had also barged in, weapons ready to go.

“Where’s our brother, you creep?” Mikey demanded, his weapon already spinning in his hands. 

“Ah,” the yokai replied, blinking at them. The gargoyle snickered softly, and Draxum glanced at it, some message passing between the two of them. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The way he said it- it was casual. _Too_ casual. That was suspicious, right? Raph couldn’t possibly be the only one to think so. “You’re lying,” he snarled. “What did you do with Leo?”

The gargoyle perked up, about to say something, but Draxum covered it with one of his hands. “Really,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Whatever you silly children are accusing me of, I don’t have any involvement. Search my lab, if you must, but I’m in the middle of some very important experiments. I’d really rather not fight today; but I will, if you insist. That is,” and the yokai sneered at them, eyes flashing. “If you have that kind of time to waste. Whatever you’re up to, it sounds very... urgent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is supposed to be a play on the phrase all black and blue but maybe this one was a reach it's LATE okay lol.


	5. Chapter Four: Let's Make a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since you guys are so good at getting me to write with nice comments, you know what else you should do? Email nickelodeon nice things about the show! It's currently on hiatus, and I want more episodes so every show of interest to nick helps.
> 
> And now with that out of the way, on with the show! It's late because I was in Japan for a week lol. I had a very fun time. Also, this chapter updated weird so this is a re-post. 
> 
> Every time someone says my characterization or tone is good I also DIE a little because I take painstaking measures to try and uphold that. I'm so happy it's working! I'm studying to be a screenwriter so my characters, dialogue, and clarity of action tend to be my strong suits.
> 
> Also, no one has commented on a certain character tag or the possible connection to the actual title of this entire fanfic yet. Gotta admit, I'm kind of surprised with all of the theorizing no one even mentioned going in this direction! I'm excited. One of the upcoming scenes within the next chapter or two is what started this whole idea for me.

Donnie gripped his bo staff tighter as he stared at Draxum. Logically he knew it was impossible, but theoretically he could feel the titanium alloy crack under his grip. His eyes skittered over the lab, the appealing glowing lights and the mix of organic and modern mad scientist design making him want to go home and work on redesigning his own.

“He rebuilt fast,” Donnie murmured, trying and failing to hide how he was admiring the enemy’s lair. “Do you think that he used—“

“Not now, Dee!” Mikey hissed at him, and Donnie ducked his head, forcing himself to stop that line of thought. Right, right. Raph and Mikey could handle Draxum, Donnie just needed to work on his calculations. They’d been at this for six solid hours, and his wrist tech was already at a mere 40% battery life. Not that there was anything wrong with his tech- normally it lasted much longer- he had just stayed up late last night with Leo playing video games and forgot to charge it. Or wait, wasn’t it past midnight already? So, what, the night before last? _Focus, Donnie_. The turtle shook his head slightly, glancing back at the yokai looming ahead of them.

Raph shifted, red sparks flying off of his weapons and anger rolling off of him in waves. “Donnie,” he muttered. “What’s the chance he’s lying about Leo?”

Donnie glanced at the Baron; he looked almost bored at their presence, his posture relaxed and loose. But Donnie knew the relaxed appearance was all a lie, as his eyes were still sharp, following every move they made. “I don’t know.” His voice came out flat, sounding almost as bored as Draxum’s. Shoot, not the right sound for this emotion. He fidgeted, swallowed the lump in his throat. “My calculations shouldn’t be this off. The first three yokai alone had a 75% chance all together of having him. Go past that and we’re getting into single and soon after decimal percentages; I don’t know why none of the cameras caught sight of him or…”

He paused, taking the chance to take a small breath. He was rambling now, he needed to stop. “If I was this off, I need more data to rerun my simulations,” he finished weakly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey look down at his feet, kusari-fundo still held tight to his chest. “We should- we should call April, see what she’s found out.”

Raph took a deep breath, sucking in the air through the gap his snaggletooth created. “…okay,” he agreed. “Do we have time to search here first?”

Donnie blinked. Could they afford to waste time here if this was a cold lead? Who knew where Leo was, or what was happening to him. But what if he was _here_ and they missed him? There was good reason Draxum came up as as a highly suspect yokai in his list; between the strange, coldblooded and yet admiring nature of his remarks of the brothers, Donnie had always had a bad feeling about this guy. But would he really seek out their lair and just take _Leo?_ Donnie closed his eyes. He didn’t know for sure, so what was the higher priority? Time to double check or time to look somewhere else? Why was Raph asking him this, he couldn’t make these kinds of decisions with so little data-

His younger brother (currently his _only_ younger brother with him, Donnie thought distantly) spoke up, stepping away from them. “I’ll be quick,” Mikey promised them over his shoulder, jaw set. “Watch Draxum for me.” And then he was dashing off and out of the main room before Raph or Donnie could say no.

“No, _Mikey_ -“ Raph started to say, reaching fruitlessly after the youngest. “Annnnd he’s gone.” Raph crossed his arms, careful not to activate his tonfas. “Great,” he muttered, turning a sharp gaze on Draxum, who had been silently watching them. “If he’s not back in two minutes, sheep man, I’ll—“

“No need for that,” Draxum said, raising one hand. He shifted, glancing up and down Raph with a pointed disdainful glance. “I have no intention of doing anything of the sort. I have no need for it- you already refused my offer for making you all _actual_ warriors.” The gargoyle on his shoulder laughed again, but stopped as soon as Draxum glanced at it.

Donnie and Raph exchanged a look, but Raph looked as puzzled as Donnie felt over the Baron’s behavior. “Well… good,” Raph said awkwardly. He didn’t put his weapons down. “Good.”

Well, if Draxum wasn’t going to try and kill them this once, never say Donnie looked a gift horse in the mouth and ignored it. He glanced back at his wrist, pulling up the holographic screen. He needed to triple check his numbers, run through possible alternate routes Leo had taken with the pizza. He had paid for it, so someone must have followed him back to the base. But no cameras had picked him up. So, portals, obviously. But if he had portaled home, how had someone jumped him?

Donnie suppressed a frustrated groan. He felt like he was chasing theoreticals. Where was the actual data hiding?

What felt like an eternity, but was only approximately three minutes later, Mikey’s quick footsteps signaled his appearance a second before the turtle skidded back into the room. “Quick sweep done!” he gasped, chest heaving. “Boy, he has some weird stuff in here, but I couldn’t find Leo. Ready to… to go to the next place.”

Raph nodded, turning to the other two. “Okay. Let’s go, Mad Dogs,” he ordered. He and Mikey jumped into action, clearing the place quickly and efficiently as Donnie activated his battle shell’s flight mode.

But as he was turning and his engine whirred to life, he saw something strange; marks in the ground. Like the puncture ones Draxum’s weapons made- were those still there from their last fight? But Draxum had remodeled _everything_ else, to an almost obnoxious degree, so why-

“Donnie!” Raph called.

“Uh, wha-? Yeah. Yeah, coming, sorry.”

* * *

They traveled in silence, each with his own thoughts. “Donnie?” Mikey finally broke the silence, the smallest starting to lag as they ran over rooftops. It was late; later than Mikey usually stayed up. “Is it- the thing with the data- is it that bad? It’s not, right?”

Donnie sighed. Mikey was clearly putting up an effort to be brave, but both he and Raph had known it wouldn’t last as the hours had ticked by. They were all getting tired, and with no new information they might have to turn in for the night—

Donnie’s phone started ringing, and he almost jerked himself right out of the air.

He grabbed at the offending device, glancing at the caller for only a split second before answering. “Did you find something?” he demanded.

 _“What? Did I – oh. No, I’m sorry Donnie. Is Raph there?”_ April answered, voice tight. She sounded out of breath. For a brief moment, thoughts of his brother alone and hurt receded as new probabilities of something else going wrong bloomed in his mind.

Donnie blinked, aware his brothers had slowed to as close of a walk as they dared to in order to watch his expression and listen in for any new snippets of information. “Um. Yes?” he answered, puzzled. Raph had a cellphone of his own. “Did you need to speak to him specifically or…”

_“Oh! Oh, then. Then no. I’ll- where are you guys?”_

“Near Albearto’s. Heading home to recheck my math.” Donnie glanced at his siblings, shaking his head. They both nodded, Raph rubbing one hand over his face and Mikey looking down. “We’ll meet you there?”

Ten minutes later they descended into the sewers, but Donnie felt nervous and unsettled even in their own home. The shadows felt much deeper and sharper all of a sudden, the normally non-threatening echoing nature of the tunnels feeling like the start of that one terrible Jupiter Jim Halloween special. “S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N?” he called, relaxing only slightly when the purple robot appeared.

“Master Donatello! What can I do for ya?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N asked.

Donnie straightened up a bit, making sure he looked confident… or at the very least, unruffled by everything that was happening. “High defense mode. If any unauthorized people try and enter—“

“Vaporize them?” The robot anticipated, missiles and explosives popping out of its sides. It was overkill, sure, but the sight cheered Donnie up considerably.

“Yes—“

“Donnie!” Raph scolded. Donnie paused and glanced back. The snapping turtle met his eyes. “We need them alive to find out where Leo is.”

Donnie smiled, a grim, cold thing. “You heard the turtle. Restrain with only slight… restraint.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. let out a small beep of confirmation, order received, and Donnie felt himself relax slightly, successfully reassured. He loved it when machines worked as they should. He’d have to expand the area of defense deeper into the sewers when this whole mess was over.

From above came a loud clattering sound and everyone stiffened, only S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N remaining unmoving. Donnie glanced back at his unresponsive robot before he forced himself to relax again. No cause for alarm. “It’s just April,” he told his brothers, watching them also loosen up.

The girl in question practically jumped down into the sewers, ignoring most of the ladder rungs. Mayhem was clutched tightly to her chest in one arm, and both looked around anxiously from turtle to turtle. “Raph!” she shouted, running towards the largest turtle.

“What?” The turtle asked, flummoxed, before April drew her foot back and kicked him in the shin. From the sound April made and the way Raph blinked down at her, Donnie could imagine that the result wasn’t what either of them had expected would happen.

“Uh, April?” Raph ventured. “What—“

“Four times! I tried to call you _four times,_ ” April said, jabbing a finger into Raph’s chest, clutching her foot with one hand as she hopped in place. “Do you know how I started to think—“ she glanced away, pulling Mayhem closer to her chest. “How I started to think you guys were gone _too_? I had to call Donnie to get to you! It was scary! Don’t tell me that Leo has gone missing and then just _ghost_ me like that.”

Raph winced, but Donnie stiffened, thinking. It wasn’t possible, was it? “O-oh,” Raph muttered, pulling out his phone and wincing as his eyes scanned the first few notifications on the screen. “April, I’m sorry,” Raph said. “Look I’m- I’m putting it on ring right now, okay? It won’t happen again.”

“It better not,” April sniffed, but she was sounding a bit more calm. “Did you find anything about—“

“Stop. Stop, wait, no.” Donnie demanded. He didn’t want to be right. He didn’t want to be right, but…

“Dee?” Mikey asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Yeah, Raph?” Donnie asked, a feeling of dread pooling in his stomach. “The red bubble with a number on it in your phone calls,” he said. “When- when did you last check your messages?”

“My messages?” Raph rubbed his eyes with two fingers. He started tapping the screen and scrolling through notifications with his thumb. “I don’t know; I’ve been a little too busy with this whole situation to catch up on- _oh_.” Raph stilled, his eyes staring at his phone. Donnie waited, but his brother didn’t say anything else. Upon closer inspection, his eyes were reflecting a photo of green and blue. “There’s a voice message from him,” Raph whispered.

It was as if they were one that all four dove for the phone, but the movement was too quick; it slipped out of Raph’s fingers, through Mikey’s, and past Donnie’s only to land in April’s hand as she snatched it inches from it smashing against the ground.

April hesitated for only a moment, Mayhem whining encouragingly from his view from her other arm. She glanced at Donnie, her eyes wide and scared before she looked back down at the phone, Leo’s photo replacing her eyes as the screen reflected off of her glasses. She took a deep breath, her thumb hitting the play button before she switched it to speaker and turned up the volume as loud as it could possibly go.

Everyone leaned forwards, waiting.

 _“Raph!”_ A voice, loud and panicked, crackled to life. Everyone jumped, but Raph in particular made a soft sound in the back of his throat, hands shaking as he pressed his hands into his thighs. _“Quick, I need- aaaaand that’s a recording.“_ Yeah, that exasperated tone was Leo all right. Donnie winced, glancing back at Raph. He opened his mouth but shut it again, leaning as forwards as he could go without getting into April’s personal space. But this was good. It was a lead. The sound of wind, of quick footsteps. Something cracked loudly, and Leo’s breath rasped into the speakers. _“Why didn’t I call_ Donnie? _He’s the one always glued to his technology, Raph sometimes forgets to charge—“_ a louder crack, followed by several smaller ones. _“WhoAH HEY THAT’S NOT OKAY,”_ Leo yelped, his footsteps stopping as more crashes happened.

Donnie furrowed his brows; those sounds weren’t artillery-based noises though, they lacked the echo of explosives. It sounded more like pure force. Someone large trying to land a blow but missing and hitting cement? Someone throwing large stones at his brother? What was it?

More wind, a pause, and then the breeze picked up again, static-like through the phone. _“Annnd he sticks the landing!”_

_Crack._

Click.

The four remained motionless, their heads almost pressed together as they lingered by the phone.

“Play it again,” Donnie ordered, his voice flat. He needed to listen to those sounds- that wind hadn’t been in the sewers, he could run diagnostics, trace where this call had come from maybe? But the call was already over so that would be much harder… “Raph? I need to hear that again.”

Raph let out a soft whine. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry guys I- I let you all down. I let Leo down. I should’ve had it on ring, I should have…” he buries his face in his hands, sinking down to his knees. “We were just watching a movie so I… but my brother was out and needed me and _I wasn’t there_.”

April winced. “Raph, it’s…” she glanced at Donnie, but Donnie didn’t know what to say either. ‘It’s okay?’ It wasn’t, not in Raph’s opinion. Not until they had Leo back. And in Donnie’s? Well he… he didn’t want to blame his brother about this. He could leave any deeper thinking about this subject to ponder after Leo was home. “It was a simple mistake. You couldn’t have known.”

“Well, it is a good lead,” Donnie offered, unable to keep watching Raph beat himself up over a simple mistake. Raph sniffed, looking up at him. He had the kind of look that one carried around after he was told by Splinter a cat was out of the question, but much worse. Donnie pressed on, bending slightly down so they were eye-to-eye. “I can work with this, Raph. You probably couldn’t have helped in the fourteen seconds that the phone was working, anyways, and this way it was recorded so I can analyze what happened. So it’s- it’ll be okay. Probably,” he added, probably ruining the effect of everything he had lead the pep talk with.

“Donnie, not now,” April hissed at him, glaring over the top of Raph’s head.

Raph rubbed at his eyes with his palms and forced himself to his feet. “No, no, that actually did help. Thanks, Dee.”

“Uh, but what kind of thing can that message tell you anyways, Donnie?” Mikey piped up, the youngest picking at the sticker near his hip. “I didn’t hear anyone else’s voice, and Leo didn’t give us any details, so isn’t it useless?”

“Ah, Michael, but what is helpful here is context!” Donnie said, puffing out his chest. Finally, something _fun_ to work on. Something to do that could get him _results._ “It’s not what Leon said that was important, but rather the other sounds present that can help me narrow into where this call came from. For instance, I think the wind at the location gave something big away because—“

“Because that wasn’t in our sewer,” Mikey realized as well. His eyes went wide. “So—“

“So…” Raph repeated before he turned and look at his brothers, brow furrowed. “Where was Leo?”

“Well, he avoided all cameras, didn’t portal, had lots of wind…” Donnie counted off on his fingers.

April gasped. “I didn’t check the way to the pizzeria by the roofs!”

They were all sleepy and exhausted, but Donnie knew that none of them would rest until they had absolutely nothing left to go on. With a shared nod, they all set off again, back into the dark night.

* * *

* * *

**[TWO HOURS EARLIER]**

Leo stumbled through the portal, his arms frantically pin wheeling as he awkwardly hopped until he regained his balance, facing back towards the portal. Draxum emerged shortly after him, Muninn sitting on his shoulder while Huginn hovered near Leo’s head.

They were in a dimly lit room, paintings covering the walls and the shelves holding expensive-looking pottery. Leo glanced down as his feet sank into a familiar red carpet, the strong air conditioning of the building making him shiver slightly.

“Well,” a voice said, sounding amused. “This is a surprise.”

Leo froze, trying to swallow past the collar. _You’ve got to be kidding me,_ he thought, cold sweat breaking out all over his body despite the chill in the air. _Her? Really?_ _I thought Draxum hated her._ But he had run around here before. He knew the layout of this building. If he had a moment away from Draxum, then…

Draxum brushed past Leo, the turtle wincing as his shoulder was knocked. “Big Mama,” Draxum greeted, voice cool. “It’s been a while.”

Leo glanced over his shoulder as Big Mama spun around in her chair, seemingly trying to be as creepy as she could possibly make herself seem. She was in her human form, her eyes surveying Draxum with a critical glint in them. “Indeedy it has, Draxum. But didn’t you hear?” Her voice went hard and cold, and Huginn wearily flitted to hide behind Draxum. “It’s _rude_ to just portal into someone’s personal office. Why don’t you ever use the dimbly door?”

Draxum sighed, rolling his eyes. The sheep yokai was exceedingly good at looking unbothered by everything going around him sometimes. “I’m not here to waste time with petty squabbles. I have a… deal for you.”

“Oh? Do tell.” The spider lady stood up, circling around to the front of her desk and one hand gracefully lifting to hit the button on her lapel, her other form springing into life as she kept advancing to tower over Draxum. “Big Mama does enjoy _deals_ , after all.”

“I want you to look after this turtle for me for a while,” Draxum said, one hand gesturing towards Leo. He swallowed as Big Mama’s head followed the motion, the villainess’ six red eyes narrowing.

Oh, _fantastic,_ Leo hated everything about this. It was like someone was trying to create one great big nightmare scenario for Leo. He lowered his head into his shell slightly, wishing that he could go all the way in the same way that Mikey was able to. He felt like a bug under a microscope, or perhaps, in a more fitting metaphor, a bug trapped in a spider’s web.

“One of the turtles?” Big Mama questioned, distaste heavy in her voice. “Not to mention it’s the _blue_ one.” Well, she definitely remembered him. Leo would be proud if he wasn’t in this specific predicament at the moment. “What are you playing at, Draxum?”

“You have that ridiculous Battle Nexus, do you not?” Draxum said. He leaned against her desk, casually examining his fingernails. “I want to enter a fighter into the ring. _This_ fighter, actually.”

“ _Ha_ ,” Big Mama snorted, shaking her head. “You really think Big Mama is so desperate for fighters that I’m willing to take anyone? Those turtles are only worth anything to me as bumbling arena clowns.” She shifted, turning her head back to Draxum and altogether dismissing Leo as any kind of threat. Leo turned to try and gather his energy, but his side twinged in protest as he shifted. He gritted his teeth, one hand pressing his shell where Draxum had kicked him earlier. “Besides, I’m not doing any favors for _you,_ not after what you did.”

“I never asked for a favor,” Draxum snapped. “I said I had a deal.” The warrior scientist reached back, grabbing Leo by the back of his shell and dragging him forwards, headless of how Leo’s heels dug into the carpet and the red-eared slider squirmed and grabbed at Draxum’s iron-clad grip. “I engineered this turtle with Lou Jitsu’s very own DNA; you could even say he’s merely a weapon waiting for its potential to make itself known.” Draxum finally pushed himself upright, taking two measured steps forwards so he could get up into Big Mama’s face, voice cold. “So if you’re still mad at me for that little incident, I can do you one better. I’m practically _gifting_ you a new battle champion. This way there can actually be a use for that ridiculous side hustle you call entertainment.”

Big Mama stiffened, her mouth opening slightly before she closed it. She reached for Leo, who weakly kicked at her, unable to stop himself from being picked up in one of her giant claws. Draxum let her take him. “This… _this_ is what you did with Lou Jitsu?” Her voice cracked, and her eyes narrowed. Leo also paused, confused. What did Lou Jitsu have to do with a _yokai?_ He was a movie star, he shouldn’t have known Big Mama- or Draxum, now that he thought about it. “What kind of bimbly bumbly science are you even _doing_? You stole my champion to make this… this—“

“Your _champion_ had already started to refuse to cooperate with you, hadn’t he?” Draxum shot back. “If anything, I did you a favor. Here’s a better version, who will actually stay quiet and put up a fight.”

“That doesn’t sound like the blue turtle I’m familiar with,” Big Mama shot back, but her voice was quieter, contemplative. One of her fingers brushed against the collar, pressing the warm metal slightly into Leo’s skin, and he felt his breath hitch. “What exactly did you do to him?”

Draxum started to drone something out, probably puffing himself up about his evil plan or whatever, but Leo had to think fast. Trying to furiously ignore the itching sensation around his neck, he took a deep breath. If he said something now… if he spoke, it wouldn’t just shock him. Big Mama might be startled enough to drop him, and then—

 _And then what, wise guy? You couldn’t even take on Draxum alone,_ he argued against himself. _Besides, I don’t even know if I could stand one more shock._

His collar beeped and an involuntary shudder raced down his body. Wait, he hadn’t heard the command, _what had Draxum said_? It was uncomfortable how quickly that little noise was now able to make Leo feel like his breath had been knocked out of him, how he was suddenly dropped onto a ship and a storm was at sea.

Big Mama tilted Leo so that she could get a closer look at the collar. “I see,” she finally said. “You wouldn’t happen to be selling these splendiferous contraptions, would you, Draxxie?”

“No. And don’t try and remove that one either, it won’t come off,” Draxum warned.

“Hmm. A pity,” she hummed, tilting her head as she thought. “It would help get a lot of my fighters into the spirit of things, as it were. If I had had this thirteen, fifteen years ago, for instance—“

“Yes, yes,” Draxum said impatiently. “Now are you taking him or should I find someone else?”

“Well, he obviously has a concussion,” Big Mama said. “Look at his eyes, all rolling about. I can’t get any kind of performance out of someone all whizzy knackered like this, you know.” She tapped two of her smaller hands together, considering. “But I could always store him until he’s in fighting condition.”

“Won’t the other turtles be looking for him right now, Boss?” Huginn finally piped up, Draxum glancing at him from the corner of his eye. Leo wasn’t sure if the gargoyle was helping or hurting his cause at this point, so he made do with glowering in Draxum’s general direction. “Maybe letting him stay out of such a public space for a week would be in our best interests.”

“…fine,” Draxum allowed, nodding after a moment of debate. “But after that, I want him in at least three matches a day. Huginn will oversee everything to make sure it is up to my expectations, and I will come by now and then for some additional training.”

Big Mama blinked, and Leo was lowered enough so that his toes could brush the floor. “My best fighters only fight two matches a day three times a week,” she warned Draxum. “And normally they just do one. And with the possibility of injuries—“

“I don’t care,” Draxum snapped. “Just do it.”

“Draxum,” Big Mama said, her voice unusually serious. “He’ll _break._ ”

Draxum paused right before he entered the portal, Huginn purposefully hanging back from his boss for once. Draxum didn’t look back; he only kept his head high and looked forwards. “Then let him break,” he ordered coldly. “If that’s all he’s worth, then I have three spares to try again. If that happens, then the collar is yours to keep.”

And then he was gone, leaving Leo all alone with his new gargoyle babysitter and the giant spider lady that still gave him the creeps.

All in all, Leo was pretty sure that the situation couldn’t possibly get any worse.

But perhaps that was just him being optimistic.


	6. Chapter Five: In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you need dinner?” Splinter asked as they walked, his ears twitching. “I ordered in food.” There was a beat as everyone else in the room winced, Donnie and Raph looking away and down at their feet. Splinter, sensing the shift in the mood, added quietly “I got Chinese.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have no idea how the heck Big Mama talks. Am I getting it or does she sound weird, fellas?
> 
> Also after I wrote the prologue, I had gone and wrote a one-sentence run-through of every chapter.  
> This fic was meant to be 12 or 13 chapters.  
> I… I am not sure of the length at all anymore oh dear lord what have I DONE. (30 chapters now? Maybe?? I had to cut this chapter in half, too, because it was hitting 6k. There are three Mikey scenes that were meant to all go together and I got to one. So. That's why coming up next: lots of Mikey.)  
> This and the last arc has gotten so long… why must I yearn for eighty crying heart-to-heart talks and/or breakdowns. While all major beats of the story are pretty set in stone, as I write more and more mini beats of the story pop up. Originally I had NO plans for most characters except for Leo and a bit for Splinter and Donnie. Now everyone gets some angst. Whoops.
> 
> Finally, I made a mockup cover for this fic! Check it out [here](https://eternalglitchcreates.tumblr.com/tagged/yes-okay-i-love-the-turtles-a-LOT), hopefully it looks good.

Leo would have normally protested and squirmed against the use of force, but honestly, it was kind of nice to just slump and make himself a general inconvenience to the fox and owl dragging him down the corridor. Their hands clamped down tight on each of his arms, bruising, but Leo just made a point to let his legs drag uselessly underneath him. Both employees were giving him the absolute stink eye.

Big Mama was leading the way, already back in her human form, while Huginn trailed behind them, quiet except for occasionally complimenting the architecture.

“-not like I don’t have bobbles similar to what Draxxie does,” Big Mama was saying, glancing back at Leo. “But it’s so inconvenient to have to hunt them down, you know? Big Mama deals in magic and artifacts but never _science_ ,” she tittered, chuckling to herself. “Such a human concept! It’s quite whizzy splunkered that Draxum of all yokai taught himself it.” She paused to step to the side, watching Leo get hauled past her with an amused smile. “Of course, it wasn’t just Draxum’s invention, was it?”

Leo just shot her an exhausted, exasperated look. He was pretty sure Draxum had covered this when he zoned out, and Big Mama already knew his brother was good at building this kind of thing. He got the point.

There was a static-like sound, an echoing cheer that sounded like it was from one of those movies where a haunted house relived its glory days. Leo painfully squinted against the bright light as a large green portal came into view, web-like pink structures fixing it into place. Large green bubbles of stone caught the light coming from the portal and enhanced it, lighting the whole room up.

“Well, Mum?” the fox spoke up, his tail flicking to the side. “Should we go ahead and put ‘im in with the rest?”

“Mmm, no, I don’t think so,” Big Mama said. She crossed back in front, hands clasped behind her back. “Draxum promised me this is our new champion. So, why not!” she clapped her hands, the two yokai standing straighter at attention, nails and talons sinking deeper into flesh. “Put him in _that_ cell.”

“You can’t mean the empty cell?” the owl asked, his voice rising a bit, feathers puffing up in surprise. “You said no one was to be put there again.”

Big Mama examined one of her index fingernails, her glasses glinting. “The rules of that game have now changed.” She glanced back at Leo. “It _is_ a pity, though, that he looks nothing like him… such a waste.”

Leo felt himself being hauled forwards again. His feet dragged over a metal plate put there to act as a ramp up to the portal. He craned his neck to look back, the shock collar digging into the base of his throat in protest, wondering when his next glimpse of the human world would be. Big Mama had one hand on her hip, and she met his gaze. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“We’ll see if you really _are_ worth all of this fuss,” she promised him just before his surroundings went green and shifted to somewhere new. 

* * *

The three were now standing in a corridor which stretched in both directions. The walls were blue, with ornate gold-framed photos of yokai staring out at them. There was another crackle and Huginn appeared, flitting about before landing on Leo’s shell.

“Whew! Been a while since I’ve been back here,” the gargoyle said. The two employee yokai glanced at him, and Huginn fumbled, pressing closer to Leo’s shell. “I mean- what a nice colosseum you have here?”

They kept walking, the main corridor starting to have more and more side paths that branched off into dark, forbidding dead ends. The walls shifted to being made of stone and became unadorned, the stone looking darker and made so that only minimal amounts of light fell through holes in the ceiling. It was too hard to concentrate, too painful to keep track of their route.

Finally, they stopped, staring up at something. The blue turtle’s eyes flicked upwards, just fast enough to catch the signs over the door as he was dragged up to the doorway and summarily tossed inside, Huginn taking off again just in time to avoid being thrown in with him. The signs had read “LOU JITSU” and “DO NOT OPEN.”

“Uh, wait,” Huginn said, fluttering his wings nervously as he peered into the dark cell. “Er, could I maybe wait out here? No need for me to be inside, right fellas?”

The owl shrugged. “What makes you think we care what you do?” he asked, slamming the thick door shut. Leo lifted his head blearily just in time to hear a lock clunk into place. He let his head smack back onto the floor, remaining eagle-spread on the cold stone floor.

He could hear footsteps fading away, Huginn chattering something about “going to check out the arena,” before Leo slowly rolled onto his side, bringing his knees up to his chest. It was dark enough in the cell that he suspected there weren’t any windows, but he couldn’t bring himself to investigate it. He was just tired. He was so tired.

Where were his brothers?

Leo remained curled up in that position for the entire night, unable to sleep as his hand slowly wandered up to test- _not to take it off, never try and take it off, he knows the consequences_ \- the collar around his neck. It didn’t have anywhere for his fingers to get a purchase, the line down the front and the circle the only changes in texture for the smooth surface. When he gently pulled at it, just to see, it hadn’t even shifted, almost like it had melded with his skin. He had felt the collar start to warm up under his hand with a soft humming sound, so he stopped what he was doing. That seemed to be the extent of how far he could push the rule of “don’t try and take the collar off.” Maybe he should heed Draxum’s warnings and not mess with it- Donnie could probably get it off in a second. He built the stupid thing, anyways.

With a loud sigh, Leo let his arms flop down onto the ground. He shifted, sore and uncomfortable. Between the headache from the concussion and the shock of _oh yeah, literally being shocked,_ he felt awful. And now his insomnia had kicked in. Fantastic.

And sure, he could try and force himself to get up and check out the room he was in, but this cell had apparently held Lou Jitsu for- for some reason. Hadn’t Draxum mentioned he was a fighter at the Battle Nexus at some point? And no one had ever heard from Lou Jitsu ever again after the late ‘80s when Leo had googled it, so… so had he _died_ in this cell?

Ah, but Big Mama had said Draxum stole him. As in, Lou Jitsu hadn’t escaped by himself. So in the case of the good ole “WWLJD,” it was still pretty much useless to fight this. Useless, useless, useless. Leo was useless, as there just wasn’t anything he could feasibly do. Nothing anyone in his position could do. Somehow, the thought made him feel worse and not better.

And, his family- they were probably panicking right now. He wondered if Donnie had a search algorithm set up, or if Raph was trying to make a plan to search pizza routes, or if Mikey was doing his best to have the most energy in the face of fear. He wondered if April was going to miss school tomorrow, or if Dad was out looking.

…what if they weren’t? What if-

He covered his eyes with his hands. _Shut up_ , he wanted to tell his thoughts. _Just shut up_. Draxum was wrong. Of course he was wrong.

He was going to go to sleep now. He was going to go to sleep, and he would be woken up by the door being broken down and desperate hands gently shaking him awake. Simple as that.

…he didn’t wake up to the door being broken down.

* * *

* * *

Mikey felt his eyelids start to droop, his head tilting forwards before he jolted awake, guiltily looking around to check if anyone had seen. Donnie was still crouched by the puncture marks they had found on the rooftop an entire two hours ago, muttering to himself, while Raph was holding a crumpled pizza box in his hands, staring down at a smudged “Leo” written on the lid. The corner of it was crushed, and Mikey desperately hoped that that wasn’t symbolic for something. April and Mayhem were in the alley below, looking for wherever the other pizza boxes had fallen.

Raph’s phone, still left at full volume, suddenly let out an earsplitting sound as it started to ring, Raph jerking around to grab it and hold it up to his ear, both hands cupped protectively around it.

“H-hello?” the snapper asked, and everyone else paused to listen, a familiar ritual by now. Mikey wondered when he would stop wondering, stop hoping, that Leo was on the other side of the call. Not until he was back home, probably. “…Pops,” Raph greeted. He set the phone on speaker, so everyone could hear.

“ _-almost four in the morning! What are_ _you still doing out? Have you found your brother?”_ Splinter demanded. The rat sounded angry, but Mikey had gotten into more than enough situations to know the difference between Splinter’s nervous voice and his actually angry voice. This was the former. 

“Uh,” Raph said, his expression somehow falling even more. “Not yet. But don’t worry, we’ve found a lead!” he tried, rubbing the back of his neck. The snapping turtle’s eyes darted around, landing on Donnie. “Donnie is going to have Leo’s exact location any minute now!”

Even to Mikey, it sounded falsely cheery.

There was a pause. _“Purple, is that true?”_ Splinter asked, his voice skeptical.

Mikey rubbed his arm with the other hand when his brother looked up, dark bags starting to appear under his eyes. “Well. It’s- it’s a lead,” the soft-shelled turtle agreed with Raph. “But I can _not_ say that I have pinpointed Leon’s position or- or figured out who did this, or…” he trailed off to yawn. “I’ll keep working,” he muttered.

Mikey exchanged a worried look with Raph. They both recognized that tone of voice- once, when Mikey was younger, when they _all_ were younger, Leo had tripped and crashed into the wifi router (it was badly placed in the living room at the time). It had broken, and Donnie, who felt bad because he had pushed Leo right into it, had said he would fix it.

They realized he had been teaching himself to fix it from scratch and hadn’t slept until he finished it when he went to sleep for over twenty straight hours three days later.

So, yeah. In short, Mikey was pretty sure Donnie hadn’t actually gotten anywhere yet, and was running on sheer stubbornness fuel.

 _“…come home, boys,”_ Splinter finally said, voice somber. _“It’s late. Rest, and we can all go look in the morning.”_

It made sense. It made sense, but-

“But that might be too late!” Mikey cut in, his chest aching. “We have to find Leo _now_ ; we can’t just leave him out there!”

“No, Pops is… is right,” Raph said. “Mikey, I saw you almost fall asleep on your feet and tumble off the roof not two minutes ago, and Donnie is—“ they both glanced at the purple turtle, who was muttering frantically to himself. “He needs sleep. We can’t go on like this.”

“I’m fine!” Donnie snapped, hunching over. “I’ve gone longer without sleep. It’s _fine._ ”

Their leader sighed. “What if we have to fight someone?” Raph asked. “Think about it. I know how you guys feel, but we won’t be of any use to Leo like this.”

Mikey still felt sick to his stomach, but he _was_ tired, and if both Dad _and_ Raph said so… He nodded, walking over to Raph.

“Come on,” the snapper said, nudging Donnie’s battle shell with his leg. “Up we go.”

“No, Raph,” Donnie weakly protested as Raph, no longer waiting, scooped him up and tucked him under one arm, Donnie weakly pushing at his brother’s arm in vain. “Let me down.”

“Not a chance. Can you walk home, Mikey?” the eldest checked. “You can ride on my back if you want.”

“No, no—“ to Mikey’s embarrassment he yawned, did his best to blink what felt like fuzz out of his eyes. “It’s okay. I can do it.”

Raph gazed at him, scanning him head to toe. It was a bit insulting; he wasn’t a baby.

“I can _do_ it, Raph!” he insisted.

Raph nodded, blinking a bit. Now that Mikey looked, Raph also looked as exhausted as the rest of them, his expression slipping slightly whenever he thought no one was looking at him. “Okay, just let me know if you change your mind.”

They climbed down from the roof using a fire escape, staying silent and navigating the alleyways out of sight only by instinct and routine practice. They found April and Mayhem by a large dumpster, Mayhem sniffing at a splatter of cheese oozing down the side of the large bin.

“We’re going back, ‘Pril,” Raph informed her. “You should probably head home, too.”

April stopped, her hands braced on the edge of the dumpster. Mikey half suspected she had been about to climb inside to check if it was a portal to the Hidden City, but from the grime on her clothes, maybe she had already proven that a dead end. She let go, dropping back to the ground and brushing her hands off on her pants. “But we haven’t found him yet,” she observed, frowning.

“Yeah, what she said,” Donnie grumbled, but he sounded even sleepier and Mikey was pretty sure he had nodded off for the climb down from the roof.

Raph sighed. “Yeah, I… I know. But April, you have school tomorrow, and we can’t just keep going like this.”

April drew herself up, expression hardening. “You think I’m going to school when one of my best friends is missing?” she challenged Raph. “I’ve had great attendance AND grades for years on the off chance I need to pull a ‘I have the flu’ excuse because of some wacky misadventure you goofs get yourself into. I’m staying with you guys.”

“You’ve missed eighteen full days of school and eighty-two half days,” Donnie grumbled. “And that’s in the last year.”

“Shut it, Donald,” April shot back, trying and failing to smile and settling on a smaller, bittersweet grin.

It was a small exchange, and a pretty normal one at that- so why did Mikey feel so unsettled suddenly? He sniffed, eyes starting to water. He went in for a hug with April, and leaned against her as she patted his shell understandingly. “I’m glad you’re here, April,” he murmured.

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she agreed softly, and even though Mikey wasn’t looking at her face, he could hear her voice waver. “Can I stay over? Maybe he’ll wander home during the night.”

Raph nodded, his shoulders relaxing a touch. “Always,” he agreed. He hefted Donnie up under his arm slightly, adjusting his grip, and then turned to lead the way home. “Let’s go.”

The walk back felt longer than usual, with Mikey’s legs starting to ache and a headache starting to make him want to sit down. He didn’t say anything though, determined to make it back without Raph insisting on carrying him. April kept up with them easily, glancing over her shoulder every few steps.

After they got back to the sewer cover and descended into the familiar tunnels, Mikey glanced around him, his mind fumbling for a fact that he could almost grasp but kept slipping out of his tired mind’s grasp. As they arrived at the area of the sewers they considered their home, he noticed that all of the lights had unusually been left on. They entered the main room, where the skating park was, and finally Mikey figured out what was unsettling him as soon as his eyes landed on a familiar weapon left propped against the wall.

“So…” he started, thoughts churning. “Why was Leo’s sword left down here?”

Raph and April stopped walking, following Mikey’s gaze to the sword. “You’re right,” Raph said, frowning. “The attack didn’t happen here.”

Donnie suddenly flailed, grasping at Raph’s hold on him and trying to push the larger turtle’s hand away. “Okay, we’re back, can I _please_ regain the use of my legs, Raphala?” he asked. “I have stuff to do.”

“Oh, uh, sure,” Raph acknowledged, placing Donnie gently on his feet.

Donnie stumbled slightly, body swaying, before he straightened up and pulled his goggles down over his eyes, approaching the sword.

“What are you doing?” Mikey asked, curious.

Donnie carefully picked up the sword, tilting it from side to side. “Checking for foreign fingerprints. I am starting to hypothesize—“

“Boys!” Splinter said, his nails clicking against the floor as the rat mutant hurried into the room. “There you are.” He pulled them all into another hug, grip tight, not seeming surprised that April was here. “I was getting worried.”

“Hey, Dad—“ Mikey started to ask, but Splinter just pushed all four teenagers towards the kitchen.

“Do you need dinner?” Splinter asked as they walked, his ears twitching. “I ordered in food.” There was a beat as everyone else in the room winced, Donnie and Raph looking away and down at their feet. Splinter, sensing the shift in the mood, added quietly “I got Chinese.”

“That’s great, Dad,” Donnie said, his voice coming out flat. “…but do we have time for this?”

Splinter pulled out the white bags, a yellow smiley face on the outside. “Nonsense, always time for food and sleep,” he assured his sons. “It’s very important.”

“Thanks, Splints,” April said when she was handed a small white take-out box. Mikey glanced over and blinked; it was April’s favorite. He glanced back at their dad, who was sorting through the rest of the food.

“I could’ve cooked,” Mikey offered quietly. He felt useless. Donnie was good at figuring stuff out, Raph seemed to be doing better than the rest of them at holding it together, and April was just awesome in general. The smallest turtle shuffled his feet, wondering if he could even fall asleep at this rate. Sure, he was tired, but he was also so anxious he could throw up.

Splinter shook his head. “No, in desperate times, you must maximize your sleep and diet,” he wisely advised. He nodded to himself. “I saw a sport’s drink commercial promoting that recently.”

Dinner was a quiet affair, with Donnie attached to his phone, looking for something, Raph staring hard at his plate as he ate, April texting her parents, and Splinter watching them all. Mikey would have thought that his dad was unflustered, but his ears and tail kept twitching nervously. His dad was often like that; he had a fairly good poker face for his emotions at times (although he sucked at lying, second only to Donnie) but he didn’t seem to know how to control his more rat-like body parts.

Really, the worst part of the night for Mikey was when they were clearing the table and tossing the paper plates away. He noticed that within the white takeout bags on the counter, one box and the pile of fortune cookies were still lying inside of the bag untouched, which was weird- normally Raph could finish off any extras, so everything left over went onto his plate. It was only when Mikey had leaned over to see what it was that he recognized Leo's favorite, sesame chicken, and had nearly broken down then and there. As it was, he had silently put it in the fridge, determined that only Leo was going to end up eating it. 

After that he stood there, glancing over at the pile of fortune cookies. He unwrapped one, cracking it open to read what was inside. "Change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better," it read. Mikey threw the cookie away without eating any of it. 

When they finished the clean up, they all piled beanbags and pillows around Splinter’s chair, creating an impromptu pillow fort as they all simultaneously decided that they were not interested in splitting up even within their own home.

No one changed into pajamas or brushed their teeth; once the pillows were down they all just flopped down wherever they fit, too tired to care. The last thing Mikey saw before he fell asleep was the soft glow on Donnie’s face as the turtle started to check his phone again, the purple turtle’s eyes squinting against the blue light.

And if Mikey curled up a bit closer than usual next to Raph, the other turtle didn’t say anything about it.

* * *

* * *

When Leo woke up, the room was much the same. Dim, with very little light. His neck was _throbbing_ , though, and he guessed the collar had made him tilt his head weird as he had slept. To add insult to injury, he couldn’t exactly roll or crack his neck now, either.

He swallowed, his mouth dry. He was dehydrated, he realized, feeling the way his skin felt rough and itchy. Which meant either that or the concussion was the one responsible for the pounding in his skull. He almost groaned but stopped himself, one hand lightly running over the collar before he pressed it against his eyes.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, so he was still here.

He forced himself up into a sitting position, blinking a bit as his vision went silver from the movement. The floor was a lavender color, with weirdly block-like lines running over them. The walls were more of the same, except they were green, and the door was intimidatingly thick with metal grating over the top of it. There were additional bolts running from the hinges along the door, as if to ensure no possible way to escape. Two small dents inwards were left in the door, but Leo had no idea what _that_ was about. Who would want to break into a cell? And, other than that, there was nothing but the contemplation of how _tiny_ the room was.

A distant roar of the crowd echoed down the corridor and into his room, and Leo leaned against the back wall, staring at the door. He had a week until he had to fight in the coliseum. And after he fought he would probably be exhausted and constantly injured, so that meant he had to escape before the week was up.

Luckily, that didn’t have to be today. Leo had been hit in the face with a microwave one year for the Lair Games because he had refused to go out like that, and that had caused him to have a pretty nasty concussion too. (He still totally won though.) Two days later and he’d been feeling much better, even if he still hadn’t been allowed to play video games for a full week. Big Mama had given him the minimum amount of time for a full recovery, sure, but he didn’t have to wait the full period in order to make a run for it.

He would thus try and escape in three or four days, he decided. And it would also give his brothers the time to look for him, so maybe he wouldn’t have to do this all by himself anyways. Assuming they were. He hoped they were.

The door suddenly let out a loud clunking sound, and Leo’s head jerked upright. A red yokai stood in the doorway, long horns and neon green eyes watching Leo curiously. Leo fixed the friendliest smile he could on his face, suddenly very enthusiastic about his chances of getting out now that his eyes had landed on a certain gold key dangling from the yokai’s belt. “He—“ Leo tried to ask, one hand reaching forwards, before blue electricity crackled and he landed hard on his knees again, barely managing to keep himself silent as his body jerked in pain. His bottom lip started to bleed, and he forced himself to unlock his jaw before he really hurt himself.

The guard didn’t comment on the slight smoke wafting from the collar; he merely placed a tray down on the floor, his eyes never leaving Leo’s, before he slammed the door shut again.

_Wow, Leo. Way to go there, forgot rule one._

He crawled over to the tray, suddenly too tired to try and stand again. A bowl of… porridge? And… where those _slugs?_ He grimaced. What kind of sick cuisine did yokai’s even _eat?_ He knew Hueso’s had some… weirder topping choices, but at least it had still been _pizza_. He didn’t even have a word for this sludge. Luckily there was a cup of water next to it, but the water was warm and had a strange smell to it. Well, maybe Big Mama was trying the more unique approach of starving him, he reflected dryly. But he had nothing else to eat, and he was starving, so slug porridge it was.

It was just for a few days, he promised himself. Just a few days.


	7. Chapter Six: Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, he did not want to go in there, Splinter realized belatedly, gazing up at the coliseum. His tail twitched and he grabbed onto it, a lifeline reminding him that he was not the same man that had been trapped there for almost twenty years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe not only is this chapter over 4k words again, I am only on Mikey scene 2/3 I mentioned last chapter.  
> I am a fool.
> 
> Also, still a more calm chapter! You get this one and one more, enjoy the calm before the storm while it lasts hehe.
> 
> I asked multiple people for help on double checking the Spanish here. Hopefully it ended up being accurate!

Oh, he did _not_ want to go in there, Splinter realized belatedly, gazing up at the coliseum. His tail twitched and he grabbed onto it, a lifeline reminding him that he was not the same man that had been trapped there for almost twenty years.

“Just in and out,” he whispered to himself, taking a few deep breaths. He approached the main entrance with an air of caution, where yokai of all sorts were mingling and excitedly chattering about the upcoming matches. A few children ran past, giggling and chasing each other, and Splinter grimaced. It was in bad taste, to take children here and teach them that life was a commodity, a toy to watch dance until it was cut from its strings and tossed away. His boys would never come anywhere near this place’s damned walls if Splinter had anything to say about it.

…he hoped he had something to say about it. One of his four might already be here.

And, yes, perhaps he hadn’t been the best parent throughout all of these past thirteen years, but he had tried his best. It was a big shift, going from beloved star to being locked away like an animal for years and then, suddenly, he’s a single father and an _actual_ animal. Parenting was difficult and sudden, and something Splinter had never even considered trying. Sometimes he wondered if he knew anything more about the world than the children that would look up to him with trust in their eyes.

But he _did_ know his sons at the very least, and he particularly knew of Blue’s desperate need for affirmation. Purple often sought verbal confirmation that he was loved, Red needed constant reassurance that someone was there for him, and Orange wanted physical touch like hugs or head pats, but Blue had always needed to _prove_ he was worthy of acceptance first.

And, oh, Splinter wasn’t blind to the dangerous road that lead to. 

He wasn’t sure what the other three were up to, exactly; he was pretty sure they were checking the rest of the sewers or skating parks, but they hadn’t really had the chance to sit and talk since they had noticed Blue’s absence last night. Yet another mark on his tally of why he didn’t really deserve to have a _World’s Greatest Father_ coffee cup, he supposed. He would have to fix this- and he would- but first: he had to find his kid.

Hence, here he was, setting foot in the Battle Nexus, something he had sworn he would never do again.

He bought a ticket, suppressing a shiver when the ticket seller’s eyes flicked over his face with a bored grunt of affirmation. There was no recognition, no pointing fingers, and Splinter subtly let out the breath he was holding. Money changed hands, and that was that. He was in.

“Oh, this was a bad idea,” he breathed, passing under the massive doors and into the opening section where the rows of spectator seats spiraled down to ground level. He felt sick. Was the ground swaying or was he—?

He stumbled into the first seat he passed by, sinking into it as he grabbed onto the edge of the seat like it was for dear life. He hadn’t been around so many people- or, yokai, at the very least- in _years_ , not when he was in full view and not foraging for supplies. It was so loud, yokai constantly bumping against him as they filed down the stairs searching for the best seats within the damage zone.

Okay, deep breaths. He could do this. He looked up, searching for the floating orange screens scattered around the edges of the arena that displayed the stage names of all of the fighters for the night. The Smasher, the K.O.kai, Menace, different names of varying creativity were displayed as well as the ratio of bets that they had gathered within the crowd. Nothing obviously related to turtles, or blue, or even the name Leonardo.

But those names were so ambiguous that his son could also be hiding under any of them. He had to be certain, and to do that the only possible thing to do was sit through it all.

The stone door in the arena started to slowly rise, creaking out a protest as it was heaved upwards, and the crowd erupted into cheers. He needed to look, needed to make sure it wasn’t Blue, but Splinter’s gaze slowly rose instead of fell to where the premium seating was, nestled under a giant stone statue of his ex. It wasn’t so much of a conscious choice as it was a sudden urge, a need to check if she was there.

And there she was.

She was turned away from him, gesturing at two yokai in purple staff outfits. She turned, red eyes settling down on the match, and her multiple pairs of hands came together in two excited clasps. Looking no different than she had thirteen years ago.

His breath caught in his throat and he coughed, trying to remember how to breathe. It was a little easier to see her when she was in her arachnid form, detached from most of his more affectionate memories of her, but feelings of longing and betrayal still wormed their way into his thoughts, circling around in his head like sharks out to feed and threatening to distract him.

No. No, he was _not_ here for this, he had his child to find. He looked back into the arena area, where a young deer yokai brandished a sword and shield and prepared themself against one of Big Mama’s larger mutant beasts. Not Blue, and not going to make it very far, if that faint shiver in the fighter’s legs had anything to say about it.

Splinter pulled out his phone, fiddling with it so he wouldn’t have to watch the fight as clanging sounds cut through the crowd’s buzz. He had thought it ridiculous when Purple had initially made him one- _who did he have to call anymore?_ \- but now he was grateful for the distraction as he sent a quick message to Red asking how things were going.

The reply was immediate, barely a moment going by before a quick _“No luck, with April”_ was sent back.

Splinter frowned down at it, wondering where Purple and Orange were. Probably nothing to worry about, or Red would have said so— but then again, that’s what he had told himself last night, and he had still needed to call his sons at four in the morning to get any updates on the situation. Splinter rubbed his forehead. Oh, he was a _bad_ father, he realized belatedly. How had he not thought to keep better track of his children’s lives?

There was a yelp and a crunch, the crowd bursting into thundering applause as yokai leapt to their feet in excitement. Splinter’s head jerked up, and he looked around wildly, trying to see what had happened. The challenger had been thrown into the lower stands, smacking into an audience member and injuring them both, and the crowd was _loving_ it.

_He was tired but, like usual, little more than rumpled, chest heaving as he wiped the sweat off of his forehead and straightened back up. He looked around at the adoring faces, loving the needless violence, loving the cruel but swift end he had given, and he felt disgusted. The applause no longer felt like admiration, but rather mockery. He didn’t want to fight anymore…_

A yokai passed by, brushing against his shoulder and jerking him out of his memories, and he scrambled to his feet. He needed to walk, he decided, already on the move. His gaze strayed again, wandering back up to Big Mama’s seat, where she had just started to drink a beverage while an assistant fanned her with a leaf. As if she could feel his gaze, she shifted, six eyes seeming to meet his own two dead-on.

He froze for only a second before he dipped behind another yokai, keeping his head down and using his ninja prowess to keep to the shadows of the crowd. There was no way she would recognize him, he told himself. _No one_ had ever recognized him, not after what Draxum did.

But a voice in his head kept asking, kept wondering. What if. What if she had heard from Draxum, what if she knew everything. According to the purple one, there had been suspicions of a fight; Blue hadn’t gone willingly, so perhaps this hadn’t been him seeking glory in places he shouldn’t have wandered.

Maybe Big Mama had sought the turtle out herself to get back at him for leaving with Draxum's gargoyles?

He swallowed, taking a risk to peer back up at where Big Mama had been sitting. She had looked back towards the arena again, just in time for the second fighter to prepare themself against the mutant the first fighter had failed to down.

He could go ask her.

Yes. 

_No._

It wasn’t necessarily one of his worst ideas. Big Mama had both a possible reason to be behind his son's disappearance, and if not, then she was important enough in the yokai world to be able to find out who did. It would just require _favors,_ which Splinter was weary to offer.

It was still tempting. He owed it to Blue to at least try, right? He could rat up and talk to her for the safety of a family member.

He stopped walking, slowing down as his gaze went back to the arena. A mutant monster had been ripped in half by the second contester, who was beaming and raising their fists in celebration. Splinter swallowed, eyes lingering on the rose petals thrown into the pit. But… but he couldn’t risk a trip down kidnapping lane. Not when he had three more sons to take care of, and a favor owed to Big Mama because of something with such personal importance was _dangerous._

He couldn’t go through with it. Not until he had exhausted all of his other options.

Splinter carefully settled back into another seat, trying his best not to let his eyes linger on the flower petals as they slowly soaked up the puddles of blood that dripped onto them. There was a reason the Battle Nexus threw red petals at the winners, after all.

There was always another fight incoming.

* * *

* * *

When Mikey opened his eyes, he realized with horror that he was all alone. He sat up quickly, almost dizzy from the head rush that came over him. A quick glance at his phone showed that it was only a little past nine in the morning.

“Dad?” he called, glancing at the empty chair. He got up, continuing to look around as he stepped onto the other pillows, arms out for balance as they shifted and squished under his weight. “Raph? Donnie?”

His chest felt tight. _Breathe,_ he told himself. He speed walked over to the kitchen, poking his head around the corner and trying not to panic at the sight of the empty room. “April? Hello?”

“Michael,” a voice suddenly greeted him. Mikey screamed, jerking away slightly as his head whipped to the side. Donnie regarded him with one raised marker eyebrow, somehow looking even more tired than yesterday. He was leaning against the wall, a large to-go cup of coffee in one of his hands, his left arm tilted so his wrist tech displayed a holographic screen in front of his face. “Raph and April went out to go look some more,” he added, getting at the source of the panicked expression on Mikey’s face. “They’re tracking down more suspicious mutants that we’ve fought. Haven’t seen Dad since seven, but Raph said he went to check out a different area.”

“They all went out without me?” Mikey tried to keep the hurt from his voice, but even he could tell he did a poor job of it. “I- I should be out there too. Donnie, why didn’t you wake me up?”

His brother gave him a long, searching look. “You finally fell asleep,” he said, as if that answered anything. “Raph suggested that to keep looking for an unknown amount of time,” and here his mouth pressed into a tight line here for a moment, unhappy, “we need to take shifts for who sleeps, eats, and goes out looking. So. We’re on shift two, it turns out.”

Mikey let himself try and digest that. _An unknown amount of time._ They thought this would take a while. How long? Days? Weeks? Months?

“Well, I’m awake now,” Mikey muttered. “Can I go help look?”

Donnie hesitated. “I’m kind of in the middle of running the statistics—“

“I can go by myself, Donnie, I’ll be fine. I’ll turn on my location tracker on my phone for you—“

“You assume I don’t already have that on,” Donnie interjected, taking a sip of his coffee.

Mikey eyed the drink, slightly jealous. Sensing his brother’s interest, Donnie wandered over to the counter and picked up another cup. “Here,” he said, pressing it into Mikey’s hands. “I _was_ going to wake you up before it got cold, you know.”

Mikey stared down at the coffee, a light brown from added milk and sugar and so very unlike the shade of Donnie’s own drink. “You’re letting me drink _coffee?_ ”

Donnie shrugged again. “Raph and Leo aren’t here. I don’t particularly like it myself, but— well.”

Okay, Donnie was acting _weird._ Mikey took a sip of his drink, grimacing slightly at the flavor, but resigned himself to downing the whole thing.

Raph discouraged the drink, and Leo had backed him up after a certain… incident. Leo and Mikey had once gotten into a secret coffee drink-off that had admittedly gone poorly, as it had ended with Mikey breaking a rib from trying a trick that was a bit too extreme after he had failed to sleep for over an entire day. After that, Leo only drank coffee when he thought no one else was looking in the middle of the night, as normally other than him even Donnie preferred just plain old juice.

Mikey discreetly shot Donnie a look, watching as his brother got back onto his wrist tech, typing something.

Mikey finished chugging the coffee, wiping his mouth with his arm. “Okay, thanks,” Mikey said, tossing the cup into the trash. His stomach churned a bit, but the drink couldn’t hold a candle to how the anxiety of just _not knowing_ had gotten to him since yesterday. “I’m going to go look around New York a bit.”

His brother stopped typing for a moment, fingers hovering over his tech. “Send me an alert every fifteen minutes.”

“Got it.”

“And… take S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. with you,” Donnie added, meeting Mikey’s eyes.

Mikey blinked, surprised. “Uh, okay. You don’t want him running security here?” he double checked.

“Mmm, no, not necessary,” Donnie confirmed, going back to typing. “I ran a scan on all of the fingerprints on Leo’s weapon- I don’t think anyone else touched it. Similar scans on the sewer walls and ground suggest the same. I’m hypothesizing it got kicked through a hastily made portal or something, and the attack did in fact occur entirely where we were last night.”

Mikey nodded. “Okay,” he turned to go, hesitating and looking over his shoulder. Donnie was too concentrated to seem to notice his presence anymore, pausing only to yawn before he immediately took another sip of his coffee. “Bye, Dee, I’ll be back soon.”

“Mmm ’kay,” the tech whiz murmured. “Be careful.”

Mikey quickly headed for Donnie’s lab, poking his head inside. “S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N?” he called, eyes scanning the cluttered work table and the shelves.

“Mikey!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. greeted from behind him, making Mikey startle again. “I received the attachment from Donnie that asked me to escort you around!”

“ _Escort_ …” Mikey repeated incredulously, brow furrowing, before he sighed. “Fine, sure, Dee sent you to “escort” me,” he said, using finger quotes. “We’re going to go look for Leo.”

“Tubular!” the robot said, letting out a small beep. “Let’s get goin’!”

Normally Mikey found the robot’s attitude, permanently warped by a certain attempt to rewire him, funny, but the loud, cheerful voice suddenly felt grating to Mikey, and he sighed. “Hasn’t Donnie installed a more serious personality for you?” he asked.

“Nope!”

“Okay, well,” the box shell tortoise ran a few options through his head for possible places to look. Raph and April were talking to mutants, so that was taken care of. The skating park? No, there would be humans around, and Donnie’s systems would pick up if Leo was spotted by people. “Why don’t we try checking all of the alleyways,” he finally decided. “There’s not always cameras back there, so maybe there’s a clue to find.”

He climbed up to the surface, glancing around before he eased himself out of the sewer and swiftly ducked into the alleys. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. followed, silent unless Mikey asked him something, and the orange turtle soon found himself preferring to not have the flippant jokes added to the atmosphere.

But one alleyway soon turned into fifteen alleyways, and the turtle's pace started to slow as his feet began to ache. He had been excited to just _get out_ and help, but with each alleyway that he poked around in, Mikey felt himself becoming more and more frustrated.

He pulled out his phone, sending another _“Nothing yet”_ text to Donnie. It joined a line of over a dozen identical ones, Mikey scowling at the time located on the top of his phone’s screen. The day was already passing, faster and faster, and still no news from anyone that any additional information about Leo had been found.

“Do you have any ideas?” he finally asked S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., at a loss. “Like, I don’t know, give me _something_. Where would Leo be?”

“If you’re looking for something, Master Donatello would suggest to check the library,” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. offered, hovering by Mikey’s shoulder.

Mikey shook his head. “No, that won’t help at all.” He kicked at a discarded can, watching it clatter across the ground until it bumped into a very… familiar…

“Wait, ohmigosh, that might be it!” he exclaimed. “I can help gather information! And what better place to try than a restaurant where yokai gather?” He ran over to the familiar graffiti, running a hand over it. “I’m gonna go in,” he told the robot, which had followed him. “Wait here.” There was a confirming beep, and then he turned back and opened up the portal to get into the restaurant with a slight gesture of his hands.

Mikey stood back as the alley wall opened up to reveal the pizzeria inside. The scent of melted cheese and cooked meats met him as he stepped inside, looking around uncertainly. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for, but his eyes landed on their usual table and he felt his stomach sink slightly.

“Ah, _pepinillo_ ,” the owner, Hueso, greeted him. “It’s a rare sight for just one of you to stop by. Are your brothers not around?”

Mikey blanched. “Um, no, they’re… busy,” he weakly replied.

“Ah, then pick up,” Hueso concluded, pulling out a notepad. The skeleton wrote down something with a flourish, and then ripped the top sheet from the pad and headed to the kitchen. “I’ll put in the regular.”

“No, wait—“ Mikey was helpless to stop him as Hueso vanished around the corner, leaving the turtle standing there glancing around helplessly. He knew that if he poked his head around the corner, he could find a photo of him and his brothers on the cheater’s wall, everyone laughing except for Leo, who was lying winded on the floor. He didn’t think Leo would go back into the maze, but if he had, Hueso would know, right? Maybe he had taken shelter from whoever had attacked him here. 

The skeleton popped back behind the counter. “Just a moment,” he promised Mikey. “It’ll be right out while I tend to my other customers,” he said, glancing behind him where three tables of yokai were eating and engaging in lively conversation.

Mikey watched him stride towards the tables before he shook himself out of whatever daze he had fallen into. “Wait, Señor Hueso?” he asked, keeping pace a few steps behind the yokai.

He shuffled his feet slightly, rubbing his elbow with the other hand. “Actually, I- I wanted to ask if you had seen Leo around anywhere?”

Hueso paused, glancing at Mikey. “No, I haven’t seen your brother in days,” he replied. “But maybe you can finally get some peace and quiet if he’s out, _s_ _í_ _?_ ” he asked lightly, lips twitching, but the yokai’s expression fell when he looked over at Mikey and saw whatever expression was on his face.

“Oh,” Mikey managed to say, forcing a small smile on his face. “Uh, sorry for bothering you, then. I’ll just… be on my way,” Mikey said. _Now what?_ “Thanks for the help, Señor Hueso,”

“Wait. _Pepino_ is missing?” the yokai asked seriously. “I… apologize if I made light of the matter. I’ll keep an eye socket out for him if he comes by.” Hueso turned and vanished, appearing a second later with something in his hand. “Here,” he said, sliding a pizza box over the counter. “On the house.”

“You shouldn’t have,” Mikey said, hands hovering over the box.

Hueso just crossed his arms. “I can imagine that it’s not a priority to get food right now. Please, help yourself.”

Mikey’s hands closed around the box and he lifted it to his chest, feeling the warmth of the pie through the cardboard. “…thank you,” he said, doing his best to blink away the sudden moisture in his eyes.

“Bring him back here when he gets back,” Hueso added carefully. “I’ll give you another one just this once, a celebration of sorts.”

Mikey nodded, managed to mumble out a goodbye, and exited the store. The outside alleyway felt much colder than the warm restaurant, and Mikey blankly stared down at the box in his hands. He wanted to keep looking, but that had been his best idea, and now he had a pizza that he should probably take home first.

“Successful?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. chirped, and Mikey sniffled and shook his head.

Somehow, walking home alone while clutching the pizza box, the box turtle felt oh so very, very small, even with Donnie’s tech hovering beside him every step of the way.

* * *

When Mikey got back, holding the warm box to his chest, he heard his brother’s raised voices in the room next door. He froze, fear washing back over him as thoughts of what could have stirred them up flickered through his head. Fear had a bitter taste to it, he was realizing, something that washed over you starting from the back of your tongue and made it hard to swallow.

What if it was Leo, injured and barely conscious, being carried home by Raph?

What if something had happened to April?

What if they had figured out what happened to Leo and he was _gone forever—_

His feet sped up, from walking to running, and Mikey burst into the main room, almost squeezing the pizza box so tightly that it flattened against his plastron. “What’s wrong?”

Raph and Donnie both froze, the two having been standing across from one another. Donnie had his goggles down again, and now he pulled them up onto the top of his head with a scowl. Dark bags stood out from under his eyes as clearly as the purple patches on his arms.

“I just came to wake Donnie only to find out that he hadn’t slept at all during his shift!” Raph said. To Donnie, he scowled. “You’re being ridiculous! Not to mention you let Mikey go out _alone._ He was supposed to stay with you!”

“It’s _fine,_ I was checking on Michael through camera feeds every so often. I had his location marked and everything,” Donnie insisted. “Not to mention S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was with him. I trust my tech to keep my little brother safe.” He rolled his eyes. “As for the other thing, we’ll find Leo soon enough and then I can sleep for fifteen hours or something. I have this under control, Raph.”

“You were awake all last night on your phone, too, don’t think I didn’t see you!” Raph accused him. “You know we can’t afford to fall apart as a team right now.”

“Raphael, drop it,” Donnie finally snapped, scowling. “You’re being illogical.”

“No, I’m being responsible!” Raph waited for a moment, his eyes searching Donnie’s face, before he took a deep breath. “What do you think Dad would say?”

“You wouldn’t,” Donnie scoffed.

“Oh, I would!” Raph said.

“The classic tattletale betrayal? _Really?”_

“Guys!” Mikey yelled, unable to listen for a second longer. He stepped further out of the sewer way, staring them both down. They both stopped, glancing at him. “What is _wrong_ with you two?” He forced down the sob that wanted to rip its way out of his throat, forced down the tears in his eyes and the quiver in his voice. “Our brother is in danger and of all times, _now_ you’re fighting? We need to focus on finding Leo!”

“You’re right,” Raph said, face falling. “I’m sorry, Mikey, we just—“

There was a clatter, and all three brothers stiffened as Splinter entered the room, looking more ruffled than usual. He paused upon noticing them standing around. “What is it?” he asked, looking between them.

“It’s nothing,” Donnie muttered, crossing his arms. “We’ve found _nothing_.” The soft-shelled turtle turned away from them, kicking at the ground as he left the room headed for his lab. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. followed him after a moment, most likely an unspoken command sent from the turtle’s wrist tech. Mikey snuck a look at Raph, who had turned to watch him go.

“I… I should call April,” the red turtle finally said. “She went to go get a change of clothes.” He started to also leave the room, and Mikey flinched, not wanting to be left alone all of a sudden.

“Wait, Raph?” Mikey asked, hesitantly opening the lid of the pizza box to display their usual favorite. “I have pizza, shouldn’t we—“

“Not now, Mikey,” Raph muttered. He followed in Donnie’s footsteps of ducking out of the room. “…I’m not really in the mood for pizza right now.”

Mikey glanced down at it, falteringly, and his grip slowly tightened. “O-okay!” he called after Raph. “More for me, then!”

He glanced at his dad. “How about—?”

“Sorry, Orange,” Splinter said, patting him on the head as he passed. “I need to go look for something and try calling a few old friends,” the rat looked down at his phone, ear twitching, as he also wandered into a different room.

Mikey slowly sat down by himself, looking around at the quiet room, before nibbling on a slice. But, despite his best attempts, he only managed to stomach one. For some reason unknown to him, it just didn’t taste very good.

He set the slice back down and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his head on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Leo this whole chapter is sitting in a dark room counting the lines on the ceiling.  
> If you were wondering.  
> He'll be back next update lol the plot is about to center on him for a hot WHILE.


	8. Chapter Seven: Can't Just Do That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a clatter, a disturbance in the usual sounds of the coliseum’s corridors, and Leo sat upright, listening. Someone was coming closer to his room. He blinked, rolled his neck as best as he was able, and relished in the way that he managed to easily keep his balance as he got to his feet and shifted from foot to foot, waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, tympana means the most outward part of turtle ears. The more you know when researching for fanfic.  
> I ALSO learned lots of interesting electricity facts. This fic won't be strictly scientific (I'm taking some liberties lol) but I do my best. 
> 
> This is the last chapter in what I'm calling in my head the "nothing" arc, part three of three. Also known as the notorious Mikey arc that was supposed to be one chapter but it ended up being THREE so the last scene was rewritten to be Raph's POV. The boy needed some love, okay! 
> 
> And, yes, it's a monster of a chapter. I have decided to just let myself write long chapters IT'S FINE. The flow of it meant breaking it up YET AGAIN would have been way too awkward.
> 
> Doesn't mean much though, there won't be a hiatus or anything special between this and the next chapter. Just a shift on who the story focuses on for now. I'm also in quarantine in my room. Alone. For two weeks. (I just traveled by plane out of necessity so it's for the best.)  
> So, on that note, I might be taking flash ficlet requests on my tumblr once in a while [here](https://eternalglitchcreates.tumblr.com/) to keep off the boredom! Do come say hi and see if I've put any posts up for requests.

It was already at the point where Leo wasn’t sure if the ringing he constantly heard in his tympana was the crowd cheering or if it was just his own imagination.

He shifted, both hands cushioning his head from the hard floor as he rested one leg on top of the other knee. His gaze flicked over the weirdly blocky lines in the walls and ceiling (there were 942 excluding the floor lines, which then bumped the count up to 1,416, he had triple checked), and he repressed the urge to groan. So far his stay in the Battle Nexus had verified his initial thought that being captured was boring, except now he knew that there was a second option to his experience and he could flip between the two at any moment. It was harder to complain about the boredom after that particular realization.

He wasn’t exactly sure how long it had been since he was thrown in here; he had been given five meals since the first one, all the exact same disgusting dish that never seemed to make him feel completely full. The lack of difference between meals made it even harder to tell what day it was in the dark cell, but he was pretty sure he was fed twice a day and was hopefully correct in his guess. But better safe than sorry, so even if he was off and it was only a single meal per day, then the next meal would be his last before he was thrown into a fight. So, three days or six, either way now was the time to escape. And his brothers were nowhere to be found so… so he was on his own for this.

There was a clatter, a disturbance in the usual sounds of the coliseum’s corridors, and Leo sat upright, listening. Someone was coming closer to his room. He blinked, rolled his neck as best as he was able, and relished in the way that he managed to easily keep his balance as he got to his feet and shifted from foot to foot, waiting.

The door let out a resounding clunk, someone pushing it open. It was the usual guard, Leo noticed, but something was wrong. The guard didn’t have anything in his hands: no food and no water. An icy feeling washed down his back and Leo swallowed.

 _No._ No, it was too early, he had been trying to keep track- there was no way it had already been a week.

Unless Big Mama or Draxum had shortened his recovery period.

His eyes flicked back up to the guard’s face, searching for answers, and it was neither the first nor the last time that he wanted to try and rip the stupid collar off just so he could _ask_ something. He would swear off pizza for the rest of his life if he could just get Draxum’s sick joke off of him.

“Yer coming with me,” the guard informed him. His voice was a surprise; he sounded like he was doing a bad pirate impression. As Leo just stared at him, he snorted and stepped aside, revealing the open hallway, an invitation for Leo to exit the room.

Leo approached him cautiously, keeping his eyes fixed on the guard. Each step he tested his weight, making sure he could switch into a stance at a moment’s notice. He came to a pause beside the yokai, right underneath the doorway.

“Well?” the red yokai grumbled, reaching a hand out to shove Leo forwards. “Hurry up, we can’t keep her waiting—”

It was what he was waiting for; Leo’s hands darted out, grabbing onto the yokai’s arm, and he shifted his weight entirely back onto his heels as he spun, catching the guard by surprise. His torque managed to drag the bulkier yokai with him, the turtle nimbly releasing him just in time for the guard to stumble all the way into the cell and Leo to grab the cell door and yank it shut with a loud bang.

“Hey!” the guard shouted, indignant, from inside of his cell. He started banging on the door, but it was fruitless; Leo had tried at one point and that thing was not going to budge unless someone Raph’s size rammed it. For the first time since the entire pizza pickup fiasco night, a small smirk crept across Leo’s face. Finally, something going _right._ The red-eared slider cheekily knocked back, confident that even with keys the cell could only be opened from the outside.

Now. Time to make a run for it.

He had learned his lesson; he scanned the ceiling and corridor for any sign of Huginn before he moved, pressing his back against the walls as he slipped out and into the next corridor. The good news was that many of the cells were empty; Big Mama must still be having trouble with her business. The lack of cells also meant that there were less guards, but he couldn't be careless.

He kept going, peering down each new corridor. As he had figured, they now all looked the same to him, and if Big Mama had been expecting him then the clock was ticking. He couldn’t remember how he had gotten here, so he needed to find the exit from scratch.

There was a swell in the air, a cheer the echoed down the hallway. Leo turned his face towards it, cocking his head slightly. Surely the exit would be obvious from the crowd, he realized. If he could slip into the crowd, he could just _walk_ out of the exit, no big deal. Hopefully by the time he made it out, the guards still wouldn’t know to keep an eye out for him.

He started to creep towards the sounds of the coliseum. Soon enough, the gold-framed photos appeared on the walls again, which matched his hazy memories. His breath was just a little too fast, his pulse a metronome urging him to hurry. Despite his best attempts, his footsteps became just a bit louder than he would have liked, his pauses to check around the corner a little too brief to really help.

In the end, it wasn’t becoming careless from rushing that doomed him; perhaps it was just not rushing _sooner_ , or perhaps he was just unlucky. Either way, one moment he was hurrying around what seemed to be one of the last corners when he heard loud snarling and loud steps thundering down the corridor to his right. If he kept going to his left, he’d be left fully exposed.

He didn’t have time to think, to plan; he bolted back the way he had come, shedding all attempts at stealth like a snake skin as he pushed himself to run as fast as he could. He would _not_ be caught again. _Donnie would never let me live it down_ , he thought, reaching out a hand to help hook himself around a corner.

Nails dug into his shell, not painful thanks to his lack of pain receptors there, but firm and very much present, wrenching him up off of the ground. His feet kicked at empty air for one terrifying second, Leo’s thoughts scattering like scared New York pigeons, before he was slammed down onto the ground, weight pressing him against the ice-cold stone floor.

Something warm and wet dripped onto his head, and he shuddered as it ran down to where his collar met his skin and pooled there.

“Didja think you could get past me, brah?” Gus demanded, one paw pushing down on his shell. “I memorized your smell last time you turtles crashed the party.”

He could see Gus’ long teeth from the corner of his eye, saliva still dripping from his maw, and Leo’s hands tightened into frustrated fists. A soft hiss of air escaped him as the dog yokai pushed down harder. “Well?” Gus demanded, his breath gusting against the side of Leo’s head in hot bursts. “Are ya gonna answer me?”

The pressure was making each breath feel harder, each fall of his chest allowing the dog yokai to pin him tighter against the ground. The collar dug into his neck, hard enough that the sting made Leo wonder if he would find blood on it if he could touch his neck at the moment. He blinked water out of his eyes, suddenly furious at the situation. Furious he had been caught. Furious he was being punished for not speaking when doing so would only—

Huh.

That was a thought. A tactic that had crossed his mind but he had been too injured at the time to use.

And, well. He didn’t have anything left to lose.

He took another shallow breath, bracing himself for it. “No,” he breathed, his own voice sounding raw and unused. The collar instantly let out a small beep, Leo making sure to close his mouth and get his tongue out of the way before—

Gus howled, unable to jerk his paw back before the electricity seized his muscles and trapped him in the circuit, both beings writhing in pain. It didn’t matter that Leo had felt this before; the pain always seemed worse than he had thought it would be, his nerves singing in pain. It was like being pinned to one of those bug collector’s kits, where all of his muscles refused to obey him and there was nothing but white pain until it was finally over.

And, even if he had the shock collar touching his skin, even if his smaller size meant he should have felt it more, Leo had experienced this all before and had prepped himself. Because the second Gus had snatched his paw back with a yelp to examine it, Leo haphazardly scrambled to his feet, stumbling slightly, before he shot off in a random direction.

There was no longer any point in being quiet; if he had abandoned stealth earlier, now it seemed he was being intentionally loud. He ran as hard as he could, feet slapping against the ground hard enough to make them sting, moving too fast to turn sharp corners so he just let himself bounce off of them, Gus crashing into them a split second later. Any prisoners in the cells woke up, a cacophony of pleas and questions being shouted at Leo from all sides as he ran.

He turned the corner again, squinting as the hallways became better lit. The cheering made the floor under his feet quiver slightly, and he kept his eyes to the left, searching for some way towards the crowd.

…towards the arena.

Leo tripped slightly, losing his rhythm. Wait. They kept _prisoners_ here. The chances that going towards the cheering meant entering the actual fighting ring rather than the audience was almost certain. He could’ve played right into Big Mama’s spider claws, and she wouldn’t have had to lift one of her many, many fingers to do it.

But… _but…!_

Something came whirling through the air towards him, low enough that he didn’t notice it fast enough to react before it wrapped around his legs and he went down with a graceless tumble. His knees and palms stung from the rough landing, and Leo frantically reached down to try and pry off whatever was now tying his legs together.

It was tacky; enough so that his hands also started to get stuck to it the more he worked at it.

“I would stop while you’re ahead,” Big Mama said, her human form stepping out of the shadows. “It’s quite difficult to get out of those without something sharp.”

Gus came thundering down the hallway, skidding to a stop when he saw Big Mama. “Ma!” he said, surprised, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. “I had ‘im, I swear, he just _shocked_ me—“

“Oh, did he now?” Big Mama asked, her lips curving upwards. “With that splendiferous contraption, I’m sure. From what I know of that, you must feel quite woozy knackered now.” She nodded, looking down at Leo with a glint in her eyes. “And all to get away from Gus here. Maybe you _are_ the fighter I was promised.”

She turned, her heels making clicking sounds as she walked. “Gus, do bring the turtle with you,” she called over her shoulder. “I want to have a _chat_ with him.”

Leo grimaced, but let himself go limp as Gus wearily picked him up. “Don’t shock me again,” the bloodhound yokai threatened. “I’ll bite your face off if you try any funny business.” He was slung over Gus’ shoulder with little fanfare, but somehow he felt himself grow slightly more calm as they headed in the opposite direction to that of the cheering.

Soon it was just repeating the steps Leo had been forced to take to come here: back through the portal, down the corridors, into the elevator, and up into Big Mama’s office. This time, Leo was alert and ready, taking every possible note he could think of to remember how to get out of the coliseum’s labyrinth. He wasn’t sure if he would ever find a chance to make use of it now but it couldn’t hurt to learn what he could.

Gus dropped him into the chair in front of Big Mama’s desk, it squeaking as it settled with the new addition of his weight.

“Excellent, you can leave us, Gus,” Big Mama said, also taking a seat and propping her chin on her folded hands. Her eyes didn’t leave Leo’s as he glared back at her, one hand still picking at the webs wrapped around his shins. The door slammed shut behind him, and Leo waited, unable to do anything else but let the spider lady start speaking.

“No need to look so vexed,” Big Mama assured him, sitting back. “I think you’ll quite like what I have to say.” Leo shot her a skeptical look, crossing his arms. Big Mama smiled, her gaze piercing behind her glasses. “How would you like to make a deal with me?”

Had Leo been able to speak, he would have laughed. As it was, he just let out a gust of breath in a pointed scoff.

“No, really. I’m being quite serious,” Big Mama continued, waving one hand in the air. She reached into her desk, picking up a pad of paper and a pen and sliding them across the desk with one finger. “Go on,” she encouraged. “I’m sure you have questions for Big Mama.”

Leo uncrossed his arms and leaned forwards, picking up the pen like it might burn him. His neck was throbbing slightly, still tender from the shock. Well, he didn’t have anything to lose. Time to see what a face man could do with no actual voice. He uncapped the pen in one deft movement, scratching a word in the paper hard enough that he was sure that an impression of the word would be on the sheets underneath the top one. To make his point, he underlined it for good measure before flipping it back around to Big Mama. It felt good to write, to be able to convey _something_ for the first time in days.

“Why?” Big Mama repeated, pushing her glasses up her nose with one hand. She chuckled. “I do have a business sense, you know,” she said. “And it’s a waste just to let Draxxie force my hand. I’ll honor our deal, of course, but nothing says I can’t _alter_ it a little to also reach an agreement with you.”

He couldn’t trust her. Leo had always known that about Big Mama, and even now could feel the insincerity behind her gaze. But his escape attempt had not only failed, it had failed miserably, and he didn’t know when his next chance would come. He had to be smart about this. He took the paper back, writing a new question. He was, so to say, really caught in a web of difficulties right now.

_What kind of deal are we talking about here?_

“I’m glad you’re being reasonable!” Big Mama beamed, looking as if she hadn’t pretty much forced Leo into a corner to ask the question. “What would you say that after I train you to be a champion of my Battle Nexus, you take on that as your permanent role? I never explicitly agreed on giving you _back_ after this, after all.” She glanced at Leo, seeming to take his stunned expression as encouragement to keep going. “You don’t want to just belong to _Draxum_ , do you? He would waste any potential you have— one day, and he already almost broke you. If I just gave you back after all of this effort, he’d just use you until you were ripped limb to limbity limb! A waste,” the arachnid sighed. “Quite the waste. But Big Mama can tell you were meant to be a champion. Not as a stepping stone, but as your _purpose._ ”

Leo let out a shaky breath, leaning over so he could brace himself by resting his forearms on his knees. He tried to push down the flutter of delight at the word ‘champion.’ It wasn’t Big Mama’s approval he wanted- that might have been something Donnie had been interested in initially, but Leo knew all that currently mattered to him was getting home. Not- not playing along to yet another game.

 _You didn’t think I’d be worth it a few days ago,_ he jotted down. _Why the sudden change of heart?_

Big Mama blinked, eyes scanning the sheet of paper. “Ah, that,” she said. “Well, I never said we would agree on this _now._ You’ll still have to prove yourself in my arena, but do well in the matches and we can have another talk post hissy haste.” She paused, sneaking a sly glance at Leo from the corner of her eye. “Oh, silly me, I meant I’ll talk, and you’ll listen, of course.”

She really thought he was excited about this? Leo started to shake his head, but Big Mama leaned forwards. “I really wouldn't say no so fast,” she said softly. “You could have a wonderful time here. Fame, luxury… you could have a penthouse hotel room instead of your current lodgings, should you cooperate.” She stood up, walking around the desk to stand next to the chair so that Leo had to look up at her to meet her gaze. “And, let’s be realistic: this is the only choice you’ll be offered. After this, you simply must do as you’re told, regardless of who gets their hands on you. Don’t you want to at least be able to _choose_?”

Leo’s hand wandered up to his collar and he looked down, breaking eye contact. She wasn’t wrong; Draxum seemed like the worse option of the two. _She_ hadn’t put this collar on him, and _she_ had given him time to recover.

Sensing his wavering resolve, Big Mama went in for the kill. “Oh, and I suppose I could get someone to take a look at that nasty collar of yours. Maybe even contact your brother? I’m sure he could get it off within _seconds_ ,” she said, brushing her bangs to the side. “I’d be interested in taking it off of your hands.”

Leo’s head snapped back up to look at her and she smiled. “Yes, you could also see your _brothers_ once in a while. They could get front row seats to all of your matches! I’m sure they’d be happy to know you’re doing so _well_ ; they were here asking for you a few days ago.” She chuckled. “They seemed to be in _quite_ the tizzy about it. Too bad they didn’t find anything.”

Leo’s hands shook as he started to scrawl another question, a desperate need to know burning in his throat. Were they okay? They were really looking for him? How long ago had they come? Did they—

Big Mama ripped the pad of paper from under his hands with a smooth jerk, not even glancing at it before she tossed the paper, entire pad and all, into the garbage bin. Leo froze, instinctively shrinking back as she walked back over to him and held out a hand. “I think you’ve had plenty of questions,” she said. “The pen,” she instructed, pointedly not noticing as Leo slowly held it out to her, his grip tightening for a long second before he forced himself to let go.

She hummed, tucking the writing utensil away in her jacket pocket. “Excellent!” she said. “Well, I believe that’s enough for today. You should rest; I don’t want my future champion to be tired when the big day arrives.” She leaned back against her desk, hitting a button, and the door behind Leo flew open. “Take him back to his room,” she instructed, walking over to the window and staring out of it.

Two of her henchmen, the fox again and a seal, each grabbed one of Leo’s arms, a familiar ordeal. They dragged him out of the chair, his legs useless with the webs still wrapped tightly around them, but they showed no interest in cutting him free as he was hauled back towards the elevator.

“I’ll let you think on it, yes?” Big Mama called after him just before the door swung shut. “I do hope you’ll have a favorable response for Big Mama when we next meet.”

* * *

* * *

Raph took a deep breath, crossing out another name on the list Donnie had given him. “Hypno was also a bust,” he muttered, scratching his head with the other hand. He glanced around at the abandoned factories, gaze lingering on the shattered windows and graffiti.

April brushed some dirt off of her knees, checking herself over for any injuries from their most recent scrap. “Yeah, but we can’t let that bother us,” she said. “Come on, who’s next?”

He glanced at the next name on the list and winced. “The Foot Clan,” he admitted. “But Donnie is still tracking their latest movements to figure out where their base is. It’s probably not a job just the two of us can do in one hour.”

Mayhem growled and Raph blinked before his eyes widened in realization. “Ah, sorry Mayhem,” he apologized. “ _Three_ of us,” he corrected.

He pulled out his phone, checking where Mikey and Donnie were from the newest app Donnie had installed that kept track of their exact locations, speed of movement, and when they had last checked their phones. Both were back in the lair, he noticed with relief. He checked the time again and sighed. “We should probably go back and get some sleep,” he admitted. “After this, there’s just Meatsweats and some kind of worm mutant, but we haven’t seen any sign of either of them this week, either. Donnie and Mikey can probably handle one of them for their shift.”

April nodded, her phone also already out and in her hands. “Got it,” she said, stifling a yawn. “I wouldn’t mind catching a few z’s.”

They left New Jersey behind them and quickly headed back towards the New York sewer system, the night already in full swing as car headlights gave them glowing outlines as the cars whizzed by, the drivers unaware of the giant turtle in their midst.

“Hey, Raph,” April finally started, fidgeting slightly.

The snapper turned to look at her, unused to the uncertainty on her face. “Yeah, April?” he asked.

“What if—“ April took a deep breath. “What if both Meatsweats and the other mutant you mentioned don’t know anything? What then?”

“I’m sure one of them _has_ to know something—“

“That’s not what I’m asking, Raph.” April stopped walking, Raph also coming to a halt so he could look at her. “Are we- are we going to just keep looking like this indefinitely?”

Raph stiffened. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said. What other option did they have? “Of course we’re going to keep looking, Leo couldn’t have just _vanished_. He’s around here somewhere, I know it.”

April shook her head and started walking again, Raph trailing behind her, lost. “It’s just- pushing ourselves like this seemed fine when we had suspects. A list of places to check. But now that we’re running out of those, what then? We double check _everything_?”

“If we have to.” What was she getting at? Raph clenched his jaw. “We triple check, if that’s what it takes. One of these creeps is responsible for taking Leo.”

“I just think we should come up with something new. We’re going to exhaust ourselves like this, you know it as well as I do.” April went silent, her face falling. “My parents called. They said that I was at my limit for taking time off of school. Even,” and her voice broke. “Even for this.”

Raph blinked, his eyes widening. “Oh, school! Gosh, April, I’m so sorry, I didn't even think—“

“No, no, it’s fine, Raph. Really,” April reassured him, patting his shoulder. “You were preoccupied; I totally get it. But my parents are worried, and four days of not seeing them isn’t exactly helping my case.”

Raph glanced up at the stars, mostly obscured by the New York light pollution. “You should go home for the night then,” he offered. “Let your folks know you’re okay. I can walk you there?”

“Nah,” April refused, studying at the ground. “Mayhem will get me home, right boy?” The mystic cat creature trilled, April smiling as Mayhem rubbed against her ankle. Raph watched them, a heavy pit in his stomach. Stupid. He should have taken into account April still had a life, he had totally forgotten to check in with her over the last few days.

If he had missed something so obvious, what else had he missed?

April bumped his shoulder. “Hey, I’ll be back,” she promised. “I’m just gonna go back for a few days to get my teachers and parents off of my tail. Mrs. Kepler is a _nightmare_ to ask for any extensions for her ridiculous projects. I once heard she wouldn’t give any help to a kid that was in a _coma_ for a week.”

“Heh,” Raph offered weakly. “Sounds rough.” He blinked, forcing his face muscles to tense so he wouldn’t yawn. It didn’t quite work, but at least it made it less noticeable. He wanted to go curl up with a teddy bear or ten, but he still had a mental list of things to get done first.

April kept glancing back at him, but whatever she saw on his face seemed to at least reassure her a little bit because she nodded. “Yeah. Hey, hang in there, okay? Even if I’m away for a short while, I’ll still keep an eye out. We’ll find him, yeah? He’s tough, I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s probably going to crack bad jokes about this for _months_.”

Raph nodded, watching April wave goodbye and head towards the more well-lit areas of New York, the places where a knowledgeable mutant tended to stay far away from. Once he could no longer see her, he let out a deep sigh, running his hands over his face. His lack of decent sleep was catching up on him, he realized with a slight wince.

He located the nearest manhole cover and descended into the sewers, keeping an eye out for any sign of something suspicious. As he hopped onto the damp floor, a soft beep startled him, and he looked up to see S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hovering nearby.

“Oh,” Raph said. “Uh, did Donnie leave you here?”

“Nah, just checking what the motion detectors set off!” the robot replied cheerfully. “Looks good, have a nice day dude!”

“Motion…?” The red turtle glanced back up the ladder. “When did he have time to put that in?” he asked himself, confused. He was pretty sure that hadn’t been something they had had yesterday.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. didn’t answer, and Raph glanced back up only to find that the robot had vanished again. He shrugged, putting it aside, and went to go wake Mikey and Donnie up to give them instructions and pass on what he had learned. (Not that it was much; more of a list of who was no help whatsoever in finding Leo.)

Splinter seemed to be out again, but Mikey was curled up in his chair, one arm trailing off of the sidearm of the furniture so the small turtle could rest his head on his own bicep. A purple blanket was pulled over his shoulders, and Raph paused, taking in the scene with a small smile.

Where was Donnie, though? Maybe he had gone back to his own bed to finally get some proper sleep, but Raph knew that that was probably too good to be true.

So it was not towards the purple turtle’s room that he turned, but rather his lab, not entirely surprised to find the lights were all still on and the scent of coffee was overpowering.

Raph crossed his arms and leaned against the entryway. Donnie was hunched over his keyboard, typing frantically away. A large cup sat next to him, and even though the liquid was brown, a five-hour energy drink and a Monster lay scattered around it, both empty.

“Ahem,” Raph said. His brother didn’t respond. “Donnie!” he said, stalking forwards and grabbing his brother’s shoulder.

“ _Gah_ ,” Donnie yelped, twisting away from Raph’s touch. “What? What is it?” the softshell asked, pulling up his goggles. Raph tried not to wince; he looked like an absolute wreck, his eye bags more prominent than what Raph had thought was possible and his eyes absolutely bloodshot. “Did you find something?”

“I- no,” Raph managed to reply. “I didn’t but I… Donnie, did you sleep at _all_?” 

The second eldest gave him a scowl, turning away from him and resuming clattering away on his keyboard. “Then please don’t interrupt me, Raph,” he instructed, ignoring the question. “I’m in the middle of reprogramming my tracking program to hopefully decrease the sorting algorithm’s time for suspected areas, since it was still at the big O of n-log-n. I mean, can you _imagine_ , my own tech being that inefficient? I really should’ve fixed that earlier. Might as well do a _bubble sort_ of all of the locations in New York while I’m at it.”

“Uh, yeah,” Raph said, having absolutely no ability whatsoever to imagine whatever it was Donnie was talking about. “But seriously, you should take a break. You can’t keep at it like this. You can skip your shift today, just… just take a nap. Please.”

Donnie paused. “Skip my shift?” he repeated, voice pitching up. “ _Skip_ my _shift?”_ He spun his chair around to fix Raph with a narrowed gaze. “And what about Leo? Tell me, Raph, have _you_ found any clues? Any leads? No?”

Raph’s fists tightened and he looked away. “Well, no—“

“No, he says!” Donnie sat back heavily, pinning him with a frustrated gaze. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you get up in the middle of the night, _either_ , Raph. You’re being a hypocrite.”

“Well, I- that’s not fair, Donnie,” he said quietly. “That’s not fair.”

Donnie snorted, drumming his fingers on his desk. “Nothing about this situation is fair.” He reached over for the cup of pure adrenaline and took a long drink from it, wiping his mouth with the back of his right hand.

It was a clear dismissal, but Raph took in his brother’s exhausted expression and something in him dug its heels in and refused to budge. “No,” he said. “It’s not. But you’re going to bed and staying there until you sleep for at least five hours.”

“ _What?_ ” Donnie stood up, backing away as Raph advanced on him, intending to grab his brother by force if necessary and tuck him into his bed. “No! Raph, seriously, stop.”

“This is for your own good, Dee,” Raph said, grabbing onto his brother’s wrist. “Please, just take a break. It doesn’t even have to be for that long.”

Donnie snatched away his arm. “Well, I’m _sorry_ that I’m looking for my brother!” he bit, frustrated tears pooling in his eyes. He scrubbed at them furiously, never looking away from Raph. “Like yeah, why don’t I just lay down and take a nice long _nap_ while Leo is who knows where!”

Raph winced, his own fears being echoed by the purple turtle. He didn’t want to hurt Donnie, didn’t want to push him like this, but what else could he _try?_ If Donnie was too tired and they were attacked and something happened to more of his siblings, Raph wasn’t sure how he would cope. “You haven’t slept in _four days_ , Donnie, what am I supposed to do—“

“Just let me work, it’s not that _hard_ —“

“You know I can’t just let you do that to yourself! I’m not only worried about Leo here!” he yelled back at him, finally snapping. “You- you’re acting like this is just on your shoulders, but it’s _not,_ if anything it’s on mine as the oldest—“

“Well it must be nice then, thinking we’re able to just go to sleep and forget about this,” Donnie snapped. “But some of us _can’t just do that, Raph!_ ” he let out a choked sob. “Wouldn’t it have worked better if I had had, oh I don’t know, a certain phone call in real time to track? We were set days back by _you—“_

Silence.

Donnie’s face froze, his eyes flicking from side to side. His mouth opened and then closed soundlessly. “Raph, that was… I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I don’t blame you for…”

Raph couldn’t meet his gaze. “Go to sleep, Dee,” he muttered. “I think you need some rest.” He turned, heading out of the room with heavy steps, head bowed.

“Raph, I’m _sorry,_ ” he heard behind him, but he couldn’t _think_ , couldn’t hear anything but _set back by you_ whispered on repeat in his head.

Raph sniffled, his eyes starting to water. He pinched the skin in between his eyes, sniffing louder, trying to suppress it so Donnie wouldn’t hear. He was right; this _was_ mainly Raph’s fault, and he knew Donnie was working hard to fix that. He knew it, but what else could he do? Maybe he should call Dad, he decided. He would know what to do. He would call right after he went to his room and gave himself a good ten minutes to fall apart and pull himself back together—

Hands wrapped around his lower abdomen, a smaller figure pulling himself close.

Raph stiffened, surprised to find his youngest brother hugging him. “Mikey,” he said. He rubbed at his eyes again as he simultaneously checked behind him to see if Donnie had followed him. He hadn’t. “You… uh, heard that, huh.”

Mikey nodded, squeezing tighter.

“I know he didn’t mean it,” Raph said. “Dee is just- he’s just stressed. And tired. Aren’t we all.” He let out a short, cracked laugh. “It’s funny, I- I would’ve thought that Donnie would’ve been the most composed one out of all of us in this situation. I was thinking that he’d be on top of this and I would be comforting you, and- and—“ he trailed off, lost. He should be strong, he thought distantly. He should say something reassuring, something to wipe the look off of Mikey’s face as the smaller turtle looked up at him with watery eyes. Something to act like the leader he claimed to be.

But maybe, just for now, he wanted to open up. Maybe he was approaching this all wrong, and what they needed right now wasn’t a strong leader, but someone who _understood._ And, besides… it wasn’t like his brothers hadn’t seem him cry before.

“I keep having nightmares when I sleep,” he quietly admitted out loud. “Where one by one you and Donnie and April and Dad also vanish. And I’m just- alone. And I couldn’t stand it, Mikey, I couldn’t— I couldn't _do_ that. You know how I get when I’m alone and it’s like that but _worse._ And then I look into the sewer water, or in a mirror, and it’s not me, it’s _Leo,_ and I just—“ he let out a choked sob, tears now openly leaking down his face. “I don't know what I’m doing here, Mikey. I’m trying, I swear I am, but I _don’t know how to fix this._ ”

Mikey started sniffling too, the both of them starting to cry. “We’ll find him,” the box turtle promised in a wobbly tone. “We- we’re going to find him any day now. Dad said we would. We will!”

And the two stayed like that, in each other’s embrace, for a good five minutes before Mikey vanished into the lab and Raph went to go catch what little sleep he could achieve. In a few hours he would get up and try to keep fixing this mess, but right now the best they could do was take it one step at a time and hope they found something.

But the rest of the week went by with much the same results, a new awkward tension settling over the family.

And there was still nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: The Battle Nexus arc begins!  
> Ah, it's gonna go... well.


	9. Chapter Eight: Game, Set, Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Come on, Leon,_ he told himself. _You love attention. You’re great at sword fighting, you’ve got this. Of course you’ve got this._
> 
> He stepped out into the stadium, drowning in the sudden noise, the very ground underneath his feet vibrating in time to the yokai’s yells.
> 
>  _Oh no, I haven’t got this_ at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a rough month of April (but who hasn't lol) so thanks for your patience! Let's get this show on the road.  
> Big thanks to my friend Jade for coming up with the Battle Nexus pseudonym in here and not letting me embarrass myself with my terrible naming abilities. 
> 
> I'm a little rusty after the month off, and I don't normally do heavy action, so hopefully I did this justice lol.
> 
> tw for increased violence and mentions of wounds, stabbing, and blood (aka see updated tags, we have a violence warning now.) Feel free to contact me for more specific content in the comments of last chapter or on tumblr or twitter (@eternalglitch) as needed! I want everyone to have a fun and safe reading experience to the best of my abilities.
> 
> ALSO we now have some fanart. (AAAAH!!)  
> Go shower it with love, it's a comic on a theoretical epilogue to this story by [Lele](https://twitter.com/lelesberw/status/1244620369253801984). Note that it's NOT spoilers, as none of the info for it was provided by yours truly. You'll have to keep reading for that lol.  
> If anyone makes any fanart, note that I'll cry over it a lot and be delighted to add it to chapter notes, so please let me know!!

Leo woke up with a start, his head snapping in the direction of the light spilling into the dark room and over him. He squinted, blinking a few times, and struggled to get to his feet when the usual guard stepped into the cell. After a few times of being woken up by his only source of water being dumped all over him, he was leery to allow himself to lower his guard around the horned yokai. But why was he here so _early?_ He was certain it wasn’t anywhere near mealtime.

And then two other guards followed him in, Leo remembered what day it was, and his heart sank down into his stomach.

_Oh no._

“Don’t be causing any trouble this time,” the normal guard snorted. He had definitely held a grudge since Leo had locked him in the cell. “We won’t be so _lenient_ after this.”

“Don’t bother,” the other guard, a tiger, responded. He was larger, clearly part of the muscle that ran the Battle Nexus. “After today he’ll be too tired to do much of anything from what I’ve heard. Besides, you heard Big Mama. Gus is out and about for today.” His tail flicked, and he crossed his arms. “Might as well come along obediently or you won’t be in any shape to put up a fight at all,” he added pointedly to Leo.

Leo balked and backed up, shaking his head slightly. The guard snorted.

“All right, come on,” the third, a penguin with ridiculous eyebrows, ordered, jabbing a finger at Leo. Unlike the other two, who wore gold shoulder armor and green waist aprons, he was clad in the same purple suit that Big Mama’s inner circle wore. Despite his smaller size, it was apparent who was in charge here. “Out with you.”

Leo swallowed before he hesitantly stepped out of his cell, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the better lit hallways. He hadn’t left that room since Big Mama’s goons had tossed him back inside after their last meeting. He squinted, stumbling slightly as he was shoved forwards, the guards closing in with the penguin in front and the others on either side. They didn’t say anything else, but their message was clear enough.

There would be no escaping from this.

He was a fool, he thought as he watched his feet take one step after another. Surely there was _some_ weak spot, some angle of possible escape that had come and gone while Leo had wallowed in the dark. He was supposed to be smarter than this. He had _thought_ he was smarter than this.

_You’re slower to catch on than I would have thought._

“We’re here,” the penguin said, stopping so abruptly that Leo almost crashed into him. Leo startled and glanced back up, his eyes widening as he took in a well-lit room with a dome-shaped ceiling. A large trifold mirror sat in the middle of the room, with two blue shelves on either side filled to the brim with weapons and armor. Leo peered in, confused, and glanced back over his shoulder at his guards.

“You get two items from the right,” the tiger said, examining his claws. His tail flicked again. “Those are for the fresh meat.”

Leo hesitated, but his usual yokai guard spoke. “Argh, ya get five minutes,” he snapped. “Do ya want to get tossed in with jus’ your bare hands? Because we _can_ do that.”

It was enough to convince Leo to move, over to where the right wooden rack with the clearly more heavily used equipment was. His eyes roamed over the many rusty shields and bright green pauldrons- perhaps the common gear for fighters here? - mentally marking them unnecessary. He had a shell, after all. The expectation was probably one weapon and one piece of protective gear, but he knew that more protection would just slow him down. He had never used it when fighting before and now was _not_ the time to try and test it out.

There were no odachis, unfortunately, and Leo bit his lip. An axe or hammer was out of the question for his fighting style, as were the western swords, unless he was left with no other choice for that last one. With the different points of balance, he didn’t doubt that he would let go of the sword or something equally stupid with the western model.

One of the swords was a katana with a black handle. It had a thin scratch down the middle, but when Leo picked it up and tested it it held firm. He weighed it for a moment, unused to the shorter reach, before he tucked it under one arm and his eyes went back to the weapons rack.

Well, if he was allowed two choices.

He picked another katana, this one with a worn brown handle wrapped around several times with an old bandage. It was an inch or two shorter than the other sword, but not enough to overly throw him off.

_“Those swords are blue, so they’re yours!” Mikey laughed, pulling the orange nunchucks closer. “These are clearly my color, Leo!”_

“Time’s up, turtle,” the penguin said, startling Leo out of his thoughts. “Let’s go.”

They lead him across the room, to another closed door, and Leo’s grip on his new swords tightened. He opened his mouth, one hundred different ways to try and talk his way out of the situation buzzing on the tip of his tongue, but unable to say anything due to one very obvious reason.

The penguin opened the door in front of him, stepping back and waiting as Leo suddenly felt hands wrap around his arms, the tiger and horned yokai shoving him forwards so he basically tripped into the new room. Leo barely regained his footing in time to stop himself from crashing into the opposite stone wall, and he whirled around just in time for the door to slam shut in his face and lock him into a bright yellow room.

He kicked at the door once, twice, and then backed up, foot throbbing. This was basically a tall broom closet. His breath was coming too fast, no, he wasn’t _ready for this—_

The stone wall behind him clunked, shifted, groaned, and started to be heaved upwards. Leo froze, chest heaving, before he tried to straighten himself back up and look somewhat calm. He was pretty sure that he got at least the first part down.

 _Come on, Leon,_ he told himself. _You love attention. You’re great at sword fighting, you’ve got this. Of course you’ve got this._

He stepped out into the stadium, drowning in the sudden noise, the very ground underneath his feet vibrating in time to the yokai’s yells.

 _Oh no, I haven’t got this_ at all.

Leo craned his neck, searching the audience. There was just so _many_ of them, he realized. Big Mama’s display orbs had never shown the audience in its full capacity and this stadium was huge.

The longer he looked, however, the more he noticed that the seats were only partially filled, yokai sitting in groups like a bunch of scattered seeds. Strange. He had always thought Big Mama’s business was booming but- perhaps it wasn’t? Maybe she wouldn’t have let herself be bossed around by Draxum at all if she was doing well.

And he knew it was stupid, knew that if his brothers had already asked about him _days_ ago to Big Mama that they probably wouldn’t be sitting in the audience, but it didn’t stop his eyes for searching out every bright red, orange, and purple head covering anyways, and it didn’t stop how his gaze lingered on each reptilian yokai or skipped around hoping for a rat-like tail to appear in one of the staircases.

Above him were several orange screens, floating through some means of their own in different areas of the stadium. They all instantaneously flickered to life, a bird-like yokai in a blue version of Big Mama’s minion uniform filling the screen. Leo’s brow furrowed, and he rested one of his swords on his right shoulder, a comfortingly familiar weight. “Good morning, Battle Nexus fanatics!” he enthused, the constant babble of spectators dying down just enough for him to be heard. “We’re starting the day off with a bang! You’re all quite lucky to be right here right now because the Battle Nexus is hosting a _special_ tournament for our newest competitor!”

Leo glanced around, trying to ignore the growing sense of dread in his stomach. Despite Big Mama’s promise to watch and see how he did, he couldn’t see her anywhere. There was an obvious VIP area, but it was currently empty.

“This newcomer right here stated that he could take the spot as champion in Big Mama’s stadium by the end of the next two weeks. What do we think, everyone? Do we think he can do it?”

Feet stamped the ground, and the audience _roared,_ Leo startling and spinning back around. They all looked down at him, taking in the small turtle mutant with a glorified dog collar around his throat. He never would have thought getting so much attention could possibly make him feel so _small_. He wanted to scream back at them, to ask why they thought he wanted this, but all he could do was stand here and take it, Draxum and Big Mama not even bothering to _show up._

Honestly, that last part was kind of the most insulting aspect to all of this.

“So, bid a warm welcome to our challenger, _Kappa Kid!_ You can put bets down on if he’ll succeed in gradually working himself up to fight Kraken-Tom with our lovely mutual clerk next to the ticket booth.” The announcer took a deep breath and nodded. He held up both hands, grinning. “Okay, okay, I’m done with the boring stuff. First up, we have the dangerous double-threat VenoLion vs. Kappa Kid!”

The ground shuddered, and Leo scrambled back just as green light leaked through and a yokai was raised onto the stadium’s floor. It was twice the size of Gus, with the body of a lion but two snake heads lifting and tasting the air with long, forked tongues as they swiveled in either direction. One head’s gaze locked onto Leo and its twisting, writhing neck stilled, the other head hooking around to also stare down Leo as a throaty growl rumbled in its mouths before it dissolved into a long, breathy hiss.

And, come on, it was _him_. When the going got tough, he needed to at least crack a joke, even if it was just to himself. So yes, the thought that _wow, look at that, two snakes, just like Big Mama and Draxum_ did go through his head, and yes, he did manage to crack a small grin at his own joke.

It helped distract him from everything else, at least.

"And... match, start!"

Not wasting any time, the VenoLion crouched, wiggled its haunches once, and then it sprang at Leo. Its paws were the size of his head, dagger-like claws sliding out with a slight clicking sound as it aimed straight for him.

Leo dove to the side, keeping his swords close to his body as he hit the ground and rolled so that he didn’t stab himself by accident. The ground was a firm rock, causing him to rip the skin on his elbows as he moved, but it did the job in giving him a moment’s distance from the snake-lion.

Unfortunately, a moment’s distance was nowhere near enough, because the yokai let out a gargling snarl, landing only to immediately take off again in a new direction- right at Leo. Leo jerked his hands up, the swords going across his face in an x-like pattern just in time to meet the thing’s giant left paw.

Sparks flew, Leo gasping as his ankles dug into the ground and he was shoved backwards, feet throbbing as they made a continuing deeper trail through the rock. He risked a glance back to rip one foot out of its burrow, scared his ankle would get rolled if this continued, when one of the snake heads lunged for his face, mouth extending to showcase flashing white fangs that snapped at him.

Leo jerked his head back, his arms wavering as the yokai put more weight down on his swords. He shoved back, just enough to jump backwards and whirl, slashing at the snake head that had dared try and bite him. It pulled back, hissed, and the other head came looping around, just out of Leo’s field of vision. He barely managed an upper block, his wide eyes reflected back at him in his sword’s reflection with the snake teeth wrapped around the sword in a perfect frame of the moment. He didn’t have a moment to pause, the other head lunging at him from head on. He danced backwards, ripping his other sword free, and they circled each other, the two heads low to the ground and quite literally snaking back and forth to keep Leo in their fields of vision.

The announcer was saying something, but Leo couldn’t listen to anything other than the loud thumping of his heart, warnings in the way of quiet hissing sounds, and his quick, ragged breaths.

 _I need to finish this,_ he thought. _I can’t afford to—_

His thoughts struggled to catch up with what little oxygen he had available, somehow even making his thoughts feel breathless.

_I can’t afford to get exhausted now._

He pushed off on his front foot, twisting slightly to put his full body’s force behind his right blade as he bore down on the closest snake head. Its eyes narrowed into thin slits as it saw him coming, a hood suddenly flaring up as it tried to rear its head up and hiss at him—

But it was too late, because Leo’s sword ripped through its head with a single swipe, the momentum sending the head flying just high enough so that it sailed over the surrounding walls and into the audience. The remaining snake head yowled, pawing at the stem of its other head as blood dripped onto the floor.

The audience went wild, shouting things at Leo, and he glanced up at them for one second. It was a second that he didn’t have, as the yokai decided that it was officially ready to kill him, because it barreled at him, swiping right at his chest.

He dove towards the ground, but it wasn’t fast enough; he was yanked backwards as its claws caught on his strap and hauled him back, back, until the strap tore with a loud ripping sound. It gave him enough momentum to crash forwards, onto the ground, one sword tumbling out of his grip, just as he felt the VenoLion’s claws touch the surface of his lower right shell, dragging across the surface in a manner that something in his head screamed _this isn’t right._

His strap fell down, now in two pieces, to dangle around his legs, only held up by the belt portion still wrapped around his waist. Leo panicked, reaching out for his dropped sword, when he saw something move in the sword’s reflection. He grabbed the katana and shoved himself up, pushing back against the ground to jump as high as he possibly could just as the snake-lion pounced on the spot he had been lying.

He let out a shaky wheeze, holding both swords at the ready and sliding back into a fighting stance. The remaining snake head hissed again before suddenly the stem of its other neck thrashed, Leo’s eyes widening as not one but _two_ heads grew back in its place.

_Wha—_

Okay, was anyone going to bother mentioning he was fighting a _hydra_ or was he just supposed to figure that out himself?

Leo tried to rush at it and get another hit in before it stopped healing, but it let out a growl and hopped out of the way, facing away from Leo. He dove again, slashing at its open back, but too late he saw one snake head peering over its shoulder blade at him, tongue tasting the air. The lion body reared up onto its front legs and it donkey kicked Leo right in the plastron, all air rushing out of his lungs as he crumpled around the foot. A wheezed whine escaped him, right before he was sent rocketing backwards, crashing full speed into one of the arena walls and embedding himself thoroughly in the rock just in time for the collar to let out a beep and light him up like a Christmas tree.

He choked on the tang of blood and the acrid aftertaste of something burning, his muscles alternating between jerking and locking up, before he fell forwards again, crumpling to the ground in one big, undignified heap.

He coughed, slowly lifting his face as every inch of his body screamed in pain. The yokai stalked towards him, six yellow eyes seeming to glow as it towered over him, snake heads swaying back and forth with each step. His vision seemed to go in and out of focus, and when it slowly cleared enough so that he could see the announcer wildly gesturing and saying something on a screen across the arena.

His swords- where had they gone? He coughed again, his hands shaking he tried to once again get up. He didn’t have time to assess his body’s state. There was- okay, there was one sword behind the yokai, which was _definitely_ out of reach. As for the other, the brown hilt had taken a hit, the hilt no longer brown per say so much as just the tang was left, the bandages having lost their own battle of keeping the worn handle together.

Leo’s hand closed around the metal, and he dragged the sword towards him. He forced himself to his knees, looking up at the yokai as the snakes let out a unanimous hiss, his opponent certain in its victory.

It moved, paws thudding against the ground as it lunged at him. Leo flinching before he closed his eyes and thrust the sword forwards, both hands gripping the tang so tightly that he felt cuts open on his palms. He was jerked backwards as he felt the blade sink into flesh, and he opened his eyes just in time to see a snake lunge for his neck.

He had one way to win this, and nobody had ever told him that a successful tactic wouldn’t work twice.

“Game—,” he whispered, not managing to finish what he was saying before both of them were shocked, the hydra letting out a horrifying scream as electricity shot down the sword’s metal and right into its body, close enough to the heart that Leo was certain that it did some serious damage. He fell forwards again, barely managing to keep one hand on the sword as the other hand’s fingers dug into the ground.

The snake heads fell to the floor, the whole body twitching, and Leo gagged, wiping his mouth off with one arm. A quick glance hazarded a smear of blood, and he used the last of his willpower to force down a whimper as he dragged himself to his feet again. Third time’s the charm, he guessed.

The stadium was silent for a moment, Leo glancing up to see everyone watching him with wide eyes. He tugged once on the katana, but it was lodged too deep in the yokai, which twitched and let out a small mewl in response to the action. He shivered involuntarily, his muscles seemingly confused about what the heck was going on, before he let go of the metal like it had burned him.

Actually, scratch that- it _had._

Leo looked at his shaking right hand, the fingers where his glove hadn’t covered slightly shiny and paler than they should be. Small cuts from the sword crisscrossed on top of the burn. They throbbed in time with his neck with each beat of his heart, and Leo let out a shaky huff of air as he curled his other hand around his wrist. He turned and started to limp away from the VenoLion, intent on trying to leave- he was done, right? - before the collar let out a small beep.

He froze mid-step.

 _No._ Why? What had he done? He didn’t dare take another step, didn’t dare breath until he figured out what he was doing that was going to set it off again.

“Well,” the announcer finally said, Leo’s frantic mind latching on to the sound of a voice like an anchor to a boat in a storm. “It seems we got to see Kappa Kid’s special move! The electric eel!”

The audience was silent, as if everyone was processing that statement, before the quiet in the air shattered with a roar, the audience leaping to their feet. “Now,” the announcer continued, feeding the crowd’s enthusiasm. “He just has to finish it!”

There was an echo, a statement half remembered, Draxum glancing over to where he was clutched in Big Mama’s hand. _“Be sure to finish the fights.”_

Leo felt sweat trickle down his face, and he placed his foot down, waiting. The collar didn’t go off. He took another step, and then another, towards the remaining katana lying on the ground in the middle of the stadium. He slowly picked it up in his non-burned hand, turning to look at the hydra.

Two of its heads were watching them. It raised one head slightly, staring at him, and it hissed again, baring its teeth. Somehow it no longer sounded angry, just… scared.

Where had it been stolen from before it was shoved into the Battle Nexus?

Something was thrown at Leo, and he jerked out of the way to see a cup of some strange green liquid explode at his feet.

“Finish it!” someone yelled at him, a cacophony of voices following in large, unforgiving waves.

And, cutting through the noise like a shark fin in water, another soft beep from his collar.

It… it wasn’t a choice. _He didn’t have a choice._

_I’m sorry._

Leo took one step, then another, slowly picking up speed. The hydra’s eyes narrowed into thin slits, but it didn’t move, Leo able to see his own reflection approaching until he raised the sword over his head and drove it down, right where he thought the base of the spine started.

The hydra went still, slumping as all three heads hit the ground with several soft thumps. Leo almost gagged again. It wasn’t the first time he had cut a yokai or mutant in half- there was that worm that one time, or plenty of silverfish- but something about this was- it was _wrong._ The fight had already been _over._

_“And the official winner for this match is Kappa Kid! Is this the start of a new champion?”_

He stood there, panting, the crowd erupting into cheers as applause drowned out even the sound of his own frantic thoughts. Red petals rained down around him, but Leo wasn’t interested in the attention. He was shaking slightly, sweat giving his skin a cold, clammy feeling. He took a deep breath, trying to get his breathing back under control, when he made the mistake of looking down.

There was a puddle of blood- red blood- at his feet, his reflection staring back up at him.

He stumbled, scrambling backwards and falling on his tailbone. His eyes shot down to his hands and his plastron, blood splatters decorating him just like the flower petals now lying scattered across the arena ground.

Why were they still applauding? Hadn’t he just- Leo swallowed down the urge to hurl.

No.

No, no, _no_ it wasn’t supposed to go like this.

He slowly looked up, just in time to meet Big Mama’s gaze. She was standing at the balcony of the VIP area he had spotted earlier in her human form, too far away for Leo to fully catch her expression.

With one shaking hand, he carefully felt the back of his shell, tracing the new indent that glanced off of the bottom right corner.

He had two more matches to go today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Kappa is a Japanese turtle yokai. I'll mention it a bit more once Leo has time to think about it lol.  
> The tang of a sword is basically the blade part inside of the handle, so the blade doesn't just snap off. I'd rec googling it for a better idea.


	10. Chapter Nine: Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo shifted, resting his chin on his non-burnt hand. The cuts on it stung. He probably deserved the pain, though. He probably deserved whatever was going to happen to him when he inevitably flopped the next match. At least his brothers weren’t here– maybe they’d never have to know what he did, what he was probably going to have to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the fanfic that keeps getting slightly darker! My wrists started hurting so I took some time off and went to the doctor, but that's solved now so no worries! Also, uh, oh boy I think a lot of you just joined us here judging by the sudden flood of new comments. Thanks so much for your support! I'm a bit bad at answering comments on here without just saying thank you because it's really really what I feel lmao but I appreciate it so much! 
> 
> This chapter fought me tooth and nail so I did my best haha. I think this and the next are gonna be writing challenges for me and then we get to the really fun stuff. 
> 
> tw for slight dissociation in the very beginning. 
> 
> Fanart by salm0nek0 for a scene from Chapter Three can be found [here!](https://www.instagram.com/p/B_4_FVNpMZg/?igshid=wvkuyvmggg6p) How she draws emotions is so good you should check it out. She also has some sketches for this hidden among her other work.  
> We also have fanart by my friend, Dove/DovelyDraws, [here.](https://dovelydraws.tumblr.com/post/618302597878759424/a-couple-of-old-doodles-i-made-based-on) It's currently my desktop background lol, their art is so good.

Leo wasn’t exactly sure how he had gotten here. He was seated on a bench in a different room, the scent of blood and alcohol lingering in the air. Somewhere in between the arena and here, he had lost his sash and belt altogether. A yokai, this one with goat-like eyes and pink fur, was smearing ointment onto his burnt hand, silent except for a slight tsking sound they made every so often. He flinched each time the yokai touched him, the stranger’s gaze focused on Leo’s injuries, all the while wrapping bandages around his hands and elbows with quick, precise movements. So far they hadn’t even said a single word to him since they had walked in. 

Leo shifted, resting his chin on his non-burnt hand. The cuts on it stung. He probably deserved the pain, though. He probably deserved whatever was going to happen to him when he inevitably flopped the next match. At least his brothers weren’t here– maybe they’d never have to know what he did, what he was probably going to have to do.

At least they wouldn’t have to see him lose and end up just like–

The snake’s eyes glazed over.

Why wouldn’t his thoughts just _shut up–_

“Hey! Hey, Green? Hello?” A small black hand waved frantically in front of his face, and Leo blinked several times, suddenly remembering to take a shaky breath. His focus snapped back into place like an old rubber band. “Heya, champ!” Huginn greeted him, wings flapping as he hovered in place. “Great first match! I mean, truly, that was inspiring. I just wanted to…” he trailed off as Leo turned away, the only thing stopping him from getting up and walking away altogether being the tight grip the goat yokai had on his burnt hand.

“Uh, are you good?” Huginn finally asked, tilting his head to the side. “You didn’t look that badly injured. Or, I mean, not badly injured compared to _some_ of the matches I’ve seen this past week. You would not _believe_ the awesome way some of these guys are willing to just–“

Leo glowered at him, and waved his good hand in a shooing motion. He had forgotten he had one of Draxum’s gargoyles watching his every move.

“…go for it. Wow, someone sure is testy today. Fine, fine,” he said. “I'm sure a big star like you has better things to spend their time on, but I did have some notes about how that match went. You know, nothing _super_ important, but I think that Baron Draxum ain’t gonna like you cheating,” he said, clasping his hands together expectantly as he turned to look at Leo. “Now, don't get me _wrong_ , I think that was like seriously awesome and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time– really love that cool move and all, but I just don't think Draxum was intending for you to use his tech like that?” he asked hypothetically, scratching his head. “Do you know what I mean? I would just suggest that you maybe win with your swords, you know, classic style.“

Leo tried to ignore him, instead focusing his attention on how he wished that there was water somewhere. His throat still felt raw, although he wasn't sure if it was from being electrocuted or if he had just spent so much energy during the match that he was now dehydrated. The room felt uncomfortable, as it was just cold enough that he shivered slightly, his body still soaked with sweat.

Huginn stared at him for a moment longer before scowling slightly, crossing his arms. “Come on, can't you give me _something_ like a nod or a thumbs-up, this is kind of like talking to a brick wall,” he complained. “I mean, really, you think that you would at least try and communicate with me.” Leo froze, his toes curling slightly as he forced himself to stay still. “Without Muninn, it’s actually quite difficult to keep any decent banter going. And if Draxum is upset, then _I_ have to face him all by myself about this.“

 _Communicate_ with him? He wanted Leo to... communicate with him? Yeah, sure, how about he just tell him to go away or _oh no,_ wait, that wasn't an option. So how about maybe bringing him a pad of paper which he could hold with his burnt hand– oh, oh maybe that wouldn't be such a great idea either. But even the irritation was– it was good, it was something else to focus on for the moment. It kept his thoughts from sliding back into the rest of this whole situation.

The goat yokai apparently finished whatever they were doing, because they released his hand, seemingly satisfied with their work. Leo glanced at the bandaged hand before he tucked it away into his other armpit, the wound still continuing to throb. The yokai flicked one of their ears, glancing at him up and down. "Try not to get it burnt again next match," they sniffed. "The damage isn’t permanent this time, but I can't promise you'll keep any sense of feeling in that spot if you do something like that multiple times."

Leo nodded slightly, his neck stinging from the motion. He reached up to try and feel it with his other hand, unsure of how damaged it was in comparison, and incidentally catching the yokai’s attention with the movement. The yokai glanced at his neck and then leaned forwards, one hand reaching for his throat. And it was– it was dumb, right? It wasn't like he was in any danger right then, but, suddenly, he couldn't control himself. Desperate to avoid the stranger’s touch, he jerked like he had been shocked again and scrambled backwards, forgetting that he was on a bench and promptly crashing backwards onto the floor, landing on his shell as the wind rushed out of his lungs.

"Green?" Huginn asked, the gargoyle poking his head into Leo’s view of the ceiling. "You’re–"

“Where is he?” Big Mama asked, striding into the room and parting the curtains in one large gesture. Several yokai followed her, more of her bellhop staff working as security for the day. They didn’t look around, merely staring straight ahead as they took up posts by the door. Big Mama glanced around expectantly, her gaze scanning the room and jumping over the goat yokai and Huginn until she spotted Leo. “Oh, there you are, my little turtly-boo! I saw the end of your first match– you left the audience _quite_ forthrightly flabbergasted.“

Leo immediately tried to get to his feet, not liking how vulnerable he was on the ground. Big Mama waited until he was standing, attention wearily trained on her, before she smiled and shrugged at him. “No need for all of that flimsy flam," she said. "I'm sure you're positively exhausted– how about an actual, proper meal? You've earned it after that display. I mean, I wasn't exactly going easy against you for your first match, and you still pulled it off splendiferously.” She smirked at him, one hand on her hip. “Of course there is still a matter of...” she trailed off, her eyes going back to Huginn and seeming to register that he was there for the first time. Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You're one of Draxum’s henchmen, aren’t you?” she asked. “Must you really be in here? Big Mama simply must apologize, but this area is for competitors and staff _only_. You should have a well enough vantage point from the crowd to report what's going on to demanding Draxxie.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, really, if he was that worried about my care he should have just come himself.”

“Oh,” Huginn stammered, eyes widening. “Uh, Draxum was pretty explicit that I shouldn’t leave Green's side.”

Big Mama continued to smile, but Leo could see that her shoulders were stiff. “Oh, is that so?” she asked, raising one eyebrow. “Well, I was not aware that you were busy as such when you were stuffing your gullet at my Nexus food stands all last week.”

Huginn winced slightly, sweat beading on his brow. He snuck a look at Leo like he was looking for someone to back him up, but Leo just stared back at him, unimpressed. “You're not going to tell Draxum about that, are you?” Huginn begged. “Because I don't think it's really necessary to waste his time on small little details–“

“Then I'm glad to see we seem to be on the same page,” Big Mama snarked. “Now. Do us a favor and _get out_.”

Huginn glanced back at Leo, indecisively flittering from side to side slightly before he gave a jerky little nod. “Remember what we talked about!” he called, darting out the door.

Big Mama watched him go, her smile fading into an annoyed pout. “Half of being a successful business person is the help,” she commented dryly. “Honestly, it is a _wonder_ that Draxum has gotten this far with those two as his aids. Now, where were we? Oh yes, hot meal. I was generous enough to give you the first and last matches of the day with one right in the middle so you have time to prepare yourself for the next matches. No need to say thank you– I'm sure you’d be saying it right now if you _could_.”

She chuckled to herself, flicking a finger towards her in a “follow” signal. “Now that I’ve seen you fight, I think we can start discussing the next steps here. We go have a scrumptious meal, you get a bit of rest, and then you win your next fight. Absolutely fazmagoric.” She breezed past the yokai guards, not even bothering to acknowledge them, Leo hesitantly following, still cradling his aching hand. The thought of actual, warm food was enough to make him willing to do just about anything. “Of course… first, you have to sign the contract,” Big Mama added, her tone casual and unconcerned.

…or not. Leo stopped walking, brow furrowed as he stared at Big Mama’s back. She turned, noticing his noncompliance. “What’s wrong?” she asked, in the same tone one would use to ask if what had just been said was a joke.

_Leo dragged himself forwards, army crawl style, the vent cramped and his shell scraping against the roof. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Big Mama had betrayed his brothers– obviously– and now those three had gone and gotten themselves captured while Leo had to go and clean up this mess._

_“I knew we couldn’t trust spider lady!” he ranted under his breath. His brothers were_ so _going to owe him one for this, because it had been so obvious that everything she had said was_ lies.

Leo took a step back.

He knew what she was doing.

There’s a sense of déjà vu, Leo laughing at Draxum as he realized–

She was trying to _manipulate_ him– same as Draxum, if a bit less apparent. Yes, it was a hot meal but there was poison hidden within, a mouse trap just waiting to snap shut around him. He had known this about her, had always known it, and what, after she had locked him into a tiny, dark cell and left him there for a week with nothing but _slug porridge_ he was supposed to feel grateful? Just go along with it?

And yet it did sound better than whatever Draxum was planning–

_He’d be a killer either way–_

But no, his brothers could come any day now. And once Donnie got the collar off, Leo was free to go– he had made no deals, no obligations, that could possibly force him to stay beyond brute force threats.

Whatever contract Big Mama had, he had to avoid signing it. There must be some trick, something that he bet wasn’t even written on the paper itself that would stab him in the back. A mystic curse? Someone adding fine print after he signed? He didn’t know what she was planning exactly, but he was sure of one thing: it couldn’t be good.

“Kappa?” Big Mamma prodded, her voice soft, quiet, balanced on a razor’s edge. His stage name made him stiffen slightly, his uneasy feeling growing ever stronger. Did she really not know his name? Was this another tactic? If his brothers had really talked to her, she must know his actual name was Leo. Right?

Leo glanced up at her, his injured hand falling to his side. He took a breath, trying to swallow without making his neck brush up any more against the warm metal. He shook his head.

Silence. He didn’t dare meet her eyes. “Are you refusing me?”

He nodded, sweat soaking into his mask.

Still no reply. He shifted slightly, unsure, when she tossed her head back and laughed. “Oh, that’s rich!” she snorted. “Why, I can’t remember the last time someone turned down Big Mama’s generosity like this. What a skanktonious choice _you’ve_ made.”

She didn’t _sound_ mad. Leo snuck a glance at her, but she was already turning away, her yokai closing in around her except for the owl that lingered by Leo. “Well, never mind then, more food for me. You’ll come around, I’m sure- they always do. Oh, and–“ she nodded at the owl. “Be sure he gets the best room for unsigned fighters, yes? Fantemptuous.”

He blinked, surprised at how easy that was. The owl guard reached for his arm, but Leo pulled away, shaking his head again. The guard looked unimpressed but sighed, crossing his arms. “Fine, you can walk without me draggin’ ya,” he allowed. “But no funny business or I’ll make you wish you hadn’t tried it.”

Leo followed him as he headed back into the medical room, cutting across to another corridor. There was no sound except for their footsteps and Leo’s rasping breaths, his body slightly aching. They came to an abrupt stop right in front of a small door, the owl yokai grunting as he pulled it open with a weathered, creaking moan.

It was little bigger than a closet, really, with no light except a small slit on the top of the back wall. A stone bench jutted out of the same back wall, with a bowl and cup left sitting there.

Leo glanced at the yokai, who huffed at him and swiveled his head towards the closet. He slowly inched his way inside, and the yokai shrugged at him. “Should’ve taken the deal,” he offered, sounding almost sympathetic. “The rest of us did, in one way or another.”

The door shut, the light slowly being swallowed up until all that remained was the small square of light in the middle of the floor. Leo stood there for one minute, then two, until there was suddenly louder cheering than the usual Battle Nexus background noise, bouncing off of the walls and startling him.

Right, he must still be close to the actual fighting arena. He glanced around once more, ignoring the bowl and instead climbing on top of the bench and managing to get a grip on the small window by standing on his tiptoes. He pulled himself up, feet scrabbling at the wall, before he caught a small glimpse of the Battle Nexus arena. It wasn’t particularly a good view- it was too low to see much more than the fighter’s legs, only giving him a decent look at the blood already leaving a stark red trail across the ground.

He abruptly let go, falling back into a crouch on the bench. He shifted so he could turn and sit down, his shell resting against the wall. Well. At least he had somewhere to sit other than the floor for the first time in a week.

He finally glanced at the bowl, unsurprised to see that it was more of the same mush he had been given all week. He should really eat some of it, but he had no sense of appetite. How was it that when he was finally left alone he felt _worse_ about himself? Shouldn’t being free from Huginn’s and Big Mama’s gazes feel better?

More importantly, he had… maybe two hours to make a plan for the next match. Two hours to figure out how not to get himself killed. Two hours to process what he had done to that yokai.

Unsurprisingly that turned out to be nowhere near enough time, because before he knew it, the door flew open again and he was dragged out into the light.

* * *

He barely had any time to realize what was happening before he suddenly had both of the same old katanas shoved against his plastron, the gate opened up, and the crowd started cheering.

He felt sick.

He won with a lucky shot, killing the horse-like yokai after it had broken one of its legs and was too slow to dodge. He had _tried_ to back away without killing it, but the collar had let out a low beep, sending ice down his spine and once again forcing his hand.

He felt sick.

He threw up what little food he had managed to force down before that match had started back in the small room, the scent of sick thick in the claustrophobic space.

He felt _sick._

The third match went more similarly to the first, where the larger yokai almost overpowered him, new scrapes appearing on his knees and elbows. He got less medical treatment than he had after the first match, Big Mama apparently intent on making him regret refusing her. He had no choice but to use the same shock collar trick, switching hands so at least the burn wasn’t on top of the other one. He wanted to say he was getting used to the pain but he wasn’t, it always felt worse than he had previously thought it was, and he always crumpled to his knees, trying not to scream in pain.

After that he was shoved back into his room, their gross food and metallic water waiting for him. But he couldn’t sleep, not after all of that so he just–

It rolled into matches four and five and six. He tried to forget the last looks of terror in his opponent’s eyes, tried to sleep at night so he was still ready to make a run for it when needed, but how could he when any nightmares made him whimper or cry out and a shock _followed–_

His hands throbbed constantly, making it harder to hold his weapons. The one missing a hilt dug into his wounds, making the pain even worse.

It was only the third day of fighting, but he had been here for _ten days_ so… so where were they? Surely they would hear about this soon– thousands of yokai watched him fight for his life, cheering and showering him with praise for painting himself in red. He started to hate the feel of his swords cutting through things, started to hate the small dark room he was shoved into.

He started to hate himself.

He caught a few glimpses of Huginn fluttering around the stands and Big Mama, perched in her special VIP seating, watching his every move. But no one had spoken to him, and he couldn’t exactly say anything back even if he wanted, so there he was.

Practically a ghost.

He had to use the shock attack as a last resort once more in match nine, his left hand screaming in pain as he barely made it on wobbling legs back into the Nexus’ internal corridors.

He shuddered, gasping, somehow dimly registering that against all odds he had made it though another day. His regular guard met him at the gate, reaching for his arm, and Leo meekly let him take him, his sluggish thoughts only able to hope for a chance to curl up and rest as much as he was able. He didn’t take much notice that there was only need for one guard now. He wasn’t going anywhere, anyways.

There was a familiar fluttering noise and then Huginn landed on his shoulder, his feet digging into Leo’s skin. The turtle barely reacted, used to having stinging cuts located all over but the contact still made him stiffen slightly, the guard continuing to drag him forwards as he stumbled over his feet.

“Hey, champ!” Huginn chirped. “So I just wanted to let you know that I _might_ have had to go report about that thing I mentioned earlier.” They turned another corner, the now familiar cell coming into view. Huginn glanced at the door and took flight again, fluttering by the horned yokai’s shoulder instead as the cell door was opened. “I just thought you would appreciate a warning that Baron Draxum said he’s coming to talk to you tomorrow.”

Leo’s eyes widened, his chest tightening as he whirled to look at the gargoyle for confirmation before he was shoved forwards by the guard, back into the cell, and the door slammed shut in his face. Huginn’s eyes appeared in the small, barred opening, peering in to look at Leo. “Sorry!” he called. “But, um, you should get the morning off, so it’s gonna pretty much be a vacation!”

Leo scrambled forwards, grabbing at the bars because _no, he couldn’t take anything else, please–_

But it was too late because he could only watch as Huginn took off again, vanishing around the corner.

Free to come and go.

Leo slammed his hand against the door, ignoring the flash of pain, and slowly slid down to his knees, pressing his forehead against the metal. He tried to calm himself down, the last match still flashing behind his eyes even as thoughts of what tomorrow would bring pressed down around him.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there but eventually his mouth started to feel dry, and he blearily looked around for the jug of water that was now left in here for him. Maybe he should feel lucky that it was no longer just a cup, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but bitterness about everything at the moment.

It was in the back of the room, so he got to his feet and stumbled over to it. He would have crawled, if his knees weren’t still healing from being thrown halfway across the arena in the first match of the day.

He picked it up, about to lift it up to his mouth and start chugging it as fast as he could– Donnie would have probably told him that was a terrible way to hydrate himself, but he rarely had drank enough water himself so he was always one to talk– when something stopped him, his eyes falling on the reflection in the water that he could barely make out in the dim light.

It took a moment for his brain to process what he was seeing, exhaustion clouding his sense of judgement, before he belatedly started at his reflection, nearly dropping the jug and spilling his only source of drink.

He had dried blood on his face still.

He started to swipe at it with shaking hands, but it _didn’t help_ , so he started to splash some water on his face and rub at his eyes until they hurt because it was–

Him. It was just him. Those were his markings.

How could he have forgotten?

His hand jerked and he threw the jug, watching it bounce across the floor once and then crash against the wall with a clatter, water going everywhere.

He stared after it, numb even as he felt his shoulders start shaking and sensed a deep pit open up in his stomach. He felt an unpleasant croak clawing up his threat, and his hands shot up to press down firmly over his mouth, not daring to breath lest the equivalent exchange his body demanded was the vocalized sob he knew lie in wait.

He couldn’t remember the last time he cried, when he tried to search his mind for it. Or, at least, cried from grief or anger. He slowly sank back down onto the ground, one hand rubbing at his eyes as tears started to drip down, faster and faster, like a dam had just been unleashed. He tried to use the back of his hand, because it _hurt_ , and the pain just started to make him cry harder, his whole body now shaking. He needed a release for all of this pain, for all of this fear, and yet he knew if he actually let himself cry that stupid collar would go off and just make everything worse.

So he let himself silently cry just for that night, promising himself he’d bottle it all up again as soon as he was done. He had to, after all– what other choice did he have?

…he wanted his brothers.

God, he _wanted his brothers_.

And yet, even at the same time that he missed them, part of him was now terrified that they would find him.

Because what would they think of him _now?_


	11. Chapter Ten: the Voice Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The yokai stepped into the room, eyes almost glowing in the dim light. Leo cautiously stood up, not wanting to be lower than needed if he could help it. One hand trailed against the wall, trying to be a support in the case that the collar went off. He knew how this would go, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! This is the last timeskip-type chapter and I'm so excited because these are so hard for me to write lol. I spent way too long staring at this one and going "hmm that's not quite right." The next few chapters have some of my favorite moments though, so I am super excited to finally get to this part of the story!
> 
> This is now the 6th most kudo'd fic in the fandom by the way. THANK YOU!!
> 
> Ah, and while I couldn't think of a specific warning to give this chapter, just know it's one of the darker ones. General manipulation tactics and the works.
> 
> Fanart! (Which is now a permanent part of the author's notes at this rate I guess? Thank you guys so much...)  
> First up we have a really cool movie poster style piece by AoshimaOnwards [here!](https://aoshimaonwards.tumblr.com/post/618796891052916736/like-father-like-son-by-eternalglitchcreates)  
> And the Nexus battle scene from chapter eight by [kristallwind!](https://kristallwind.tumblr.com/post/618937172760903681/ahhh-im-not-good-with-talking-english-but-i-try)  
> Here's a comic about the end of chapter nine by salm0nek0 [here!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CAjI4jZJSzv/)  
> With the end results drawn by [Lele](https://twitter.com/lelesberw/status/1267879400965636096?s=20) and [cosmicdelta.](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/618752685155434497/eternalglitchcreates-latest-chapter-for-like)  
> Plus an extra theorized look at Leo's future as Kappa Kid by [stereomime!](https://stereomime.tumblr.com/post/619420418445606912/like-father-like-son-fanart-based-on-a-little)

There was a drumming in his head, a roar in his tympana that echoed and echoed, and Leo didn’t know how to make it stop.

He rolled over, opting to stare at the other wall for a change of scenery. His eyes felt dried out, his throat aching with every passing second. Stupid. How stupid had he been, freaking out and throwing away his only source of water for the night only to waste even more water by crying for some unknown period of time. He missed having his phone, when on nights he couldn’t sleep he could softly play Jupiter Jim’s theme and lay in bed, getting some sort of peace from the long night. Once in a while he had even snuck out, although Donnie usually caught onto him (from his own sleeplessness or security cameras, Leo would never know) and the two would go sit on a rooftop, drinking juice or milkshakes and watching New York bustle on. Sometimes Mikey, the early riser of the bunch, would notice their absence. He would always make bigger breakfasts on those days. Or, at least, he _had._ Maybe that chapter of his life was over for good.

The door rattled.

Leo scrambled to roll over into a crouched position, getting his feet under him and blinking the grit out of his eyes. He crept backwards, until his shell bumped against one of the back corners.

“Here ya are,” the guard said. “Careful, he’s known to try and make a run for it.”

“Oh, _is_ he?” Draxum asked, his gauntleted fingers curling around the door as it was shoved open. “We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?”

The yokai stepped into the room, eyes almost glowing in the dim light. Leo cautiously stood up, not wanting to be lower than needed if he could help it. One hand trailed against the wall, trying to be a support in the case that the collar went off. He knew how this would go, after all.

Muninn was crouched on one of Draxum’s shoulders, Huginn fluttering nearby. The latter briefly met Leo’s eyes before flying higher, away from Draxum’s immediate grasp. The door shut behind them, Leo not daring to even twitch as the sound of the guard relocking it echoed throughout the room.

“Green,” Draxum said, voice a low rumble. “Not even going to say hello?” He chuckled to himself, the two gargoyles echoing it after a beat. “That’s what I thought.” He stepped closer, Leo leaning against the wall as if he could sink into it. The sheep yokai narrowed his eyes, inspecting Leo like a particularly disgusting bug he had found on the ground. “And look at you. You had a full week to recover and yet four days later you’re covered in injuries fighting what amounts to the bottom scapings of the barrel in terms of yokai.”

Leo stiffened at the dismissive tone, the faces of the nine yokai he had killed flashing in his head. He raised his chin to glare at Draxum, one hand curling around the collar. _No one had deserved that._

“Oho, what fire still,” the Baron commented. “Not necessarily a bad thing. I didn't make you to be a spineless pushover, after all.” He tilted his head. “Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to look at me like that.” He paused, staring down Leo with a calculating gaze. “Shock him,” he ordered.

The collar beeped twice in rapid succession, and Leo ripped his hand away from it just in time to avoid his injured hands from getting burned. He tried to stay on his feet, his shoulder hitting the wall as he struggled to lean against it to keep himself up. Leo refused to give Draxum the satisfaction of seeing it set off again, so rather than scream he bit down, tasting blood, and he swore he could smell something burning after the brilliant white sparks stopped filling his gaze. He shook his head blearily, managing to see Draxum’s smirk after the silver faded from his eyes. Still tasting the metallic tang, he spat at Draxum’s feet, watching blood splatter across the floor.

That seemed to successfully get Leo’s mindset across because Draxum’s smile faded, his eyes narrowing.

“Again,” he ordered.

The collar let out another shrill sound, this time Leo unable to catch himself as he crumbled down onto his knees, chest heaving for air. The burnt, acrid smell lingered, and Leo felt burning pain start around his neck. His fingers scrabbled at the collar in a frantic attempt to do _something,_ Draxum merely crossing his arms as he watched.

“I believe I said no escaping as a rule,” he finally said, once Leo had gotten back enough control over his fight or flight instincts to sit quietly, shoulders shaking and one hand still pressed to what little skin he could reach on his neck. His hand felt cool in comparison, or maybe the sensation of touch just helped distract him from the pain– he wasn’t sure. Draxum rubbed his chin, looking puzzled. “Perhaps the command was a bit unclear, so let me add an addendum: no attempts at escape at all, _including_ when not directly under my watch.”

The collar let out another sound, Leo stiffening to brace himself for a shock even when he knew it wouldn’t come. He sniffled slightly, surprised to see that he still had it in him to cry after last night. Slowly he lifted his head again, not bothering to wipe at his eyes as he glared back at Draxum.

The Baron took a step forward, enough so that suddenly any sense of bravado started to flee, dread pooling in Leo’s stomach. He dropped his eyes, pressing back against the wall as Draxum advanced on him, closer and closer.

Draxum’s gauntleted hand reached towards his head and Leo involuntarily flinched, breath shuddering in his throat. He felt a slight pressure on his neck and then the now familiar tone of the collar, this time a longer, singular beep than he had ever heard before, and his head snapped backwards, banging into the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, scared to breathe too hard, waiting for the other shoe to drop. _What…_

“It’s on the advanced setting now,” Draxum said, casually, like he was discussing the weather. His orange eyes narrowed and he straightened back up, brushing one hand on his shoulder like Leo had been covered in dirt. “I wasn’t sure I would need it, but here you are, causing problems already. I suppose it’s a good thing I had it ready.”

Muninn blinked, shifting uneasily on Draxum’s shoulder. “Uh, Boss? He’s–“

“Going to fall in _line_ ,” Draxum ordered. “I was lenient until now, with just one five second shock for any issues. Now it will go off multiple times in a row: if he speaks it will go off one more time than it had the last time he spoke, and if Green goes against any other verbal order, the shock will go off as many times as needed until he does as he is _supposed_ to.” The yokai chuckled slightly. “Better learn fast, because you’re eventually going to run out of chances, _turtle_.”

Leo was suddenly glad he was sitting, because even if not for the pain he doubted he could remain on his feet as the darker implications of what Draxum had just done sunk in. He panicked and reached out as Draxum turned, about to leave him there all over again, and instead grabbed onto Draxum’s ankle, shaking his head slightly. His tongue shifts in his mouth, but he’s _scared_ , he can’t bring himself to test it, can’t bring himself to voice his pleas or even give Draxum back a taste of his own medicine.

“Uh, Green, you should let go,” Huginn said, gingerly landing on Leo’s shell. The gargoyle leaned close to Leo’s head. “Seriously he’s– Baron Draxum doesn’t have a lot of patience, exactly.”

In the back of his mind, Leo found himself wondering why Draxum didn’t just kick him away. His grip was weak, too weak to really hold onto anything, but Draxum just watched, Leo seeing himself reflected in his unwavering stare. Slowly, hesitantly, he forced his fingers to let go.

Leo curled inwards, his spine curving as his shoulders rose closer to his mask. As close to being hidden inside of his own shell as he could go, really.

There’s a loud clatter, two swords landing in front of Leo. They’re also katanas, each with a blue hilt. Leo couldn’t help but think he recognized them, a flicker of familiarity echoing in his head as he hesitantly picked one up, checking with a quick glance if Draxum looked angry at the action, but the sheep yokai had merely turned to go, Muninn’s head turning to watch Leo as they headed out.

“Those are from my private weapon’s armory,” Draxum said dryly. “I saw the pathetic state of the ones _Big Mama_ thought fit to give you. You won’t learn how to use a real weapon with something so blunt and inefficient. Don’t lose those.”

The collar beeped, and Leo nearly dropped the sword again. God, he just couldn’t– Leo couldn’t exactly say that he wasn’t intimidated by the yokai himself but the way that– that _everything_ he said would possibly be written into the collar was overwhelming. He wasn’t sure if Draxum intended that to be the case or not, but it didn’t matter, not really. Every time Draxum spoke his skin _crawled_. He wanted to leap out of his own skin with each beep of the collar, each rasp of Draxum’s voice or chuckle of his ridiculous shoulder pads, or shove his head under a pillow until he couldn’t hear anything anymore.

Draxum didn’t say anything else, and Leo wasn’t watching so he wasn’t sure why he stood there silently for a moment. But after that he knocked on the cell’s door, the guard immediately opening it up for him, and Leo slowly put the sword down only after Draxum’s footsteps had long since faded out of hearing range.

He let out a shaky gasp, shifting slightly as his entire body relaxed, as if it had been turned to stone when Draxum was around and only had just remembered it was flesh and blood. Huginn shifted, having remained on his back, and Leo nearly yelled, barely catching himself now as he threw both hands over his mouth.

“Uh,” Huginn said, taking flight and hovering near Leo’s eyesight. “Well. That was um, intense!”

Leo turned away, trying to get to his feet but failing, instead almost toppling forwards. “Hey,” Huginn started. “Wait, you should– I just mean–“

The gargoyle landed on the floor. “I’m… I’m sorry, about this,” he offered. “Green, I–“ he scratched the back of his head, Leo turning away from him. “If you do as he says you’ll be okay,” Huginn offered. “You’re one of his best pieces of work, you’ll get through this! You’re made up of Lou Jitsu’s DNA and– and I saw him here! He did it just fine!”

It must not have been intentional– Leo doubted that the gargoyles had the same calculating minds as Draxum or Big Mama, but it did still remain that Draxum could have told him to say that. Because if that was his attempt at comforting Leo, being told that he was nothing more than something Draxum had created was… it was…

He buried his face in his knees, pulling his legs closer to his chest. What if he was just a monster that Draxum _had_ designed? What if he couldn’t be just… Leo again?

It was a contradiction, a puzzle that didn’t quite fit. If Leo was the failure of his brothers then _why_ was he the one that was here? He tried to picture Raph, or Mikey, or Donnie here instead and shame almost swallowed him whole because _how_ could he even consider that? What was wrong with him?

Huginn mumbled something else, sounding unusually contrite, but didn’t disturb Leo again. He waited, tired but still sleepless, his stomach rumbling once in complaint of any decent meal.

Then the door opened back up.

* * *

The guard took the swords from the cell before he let Leo out, tucking them under one arm. “Yer gonna get them back in the prep room,” he insisted in a huff as Leo twitched and reached for them, desperation shooting through his mind at the thought of _losing the swords_ , but luckily it seemed that since they were still within eyesight, the collar didn’t count that as breaking the rule. Huginn didn’t say anything at first, flittering out of the cell and watching for a moment.

“I’ll… go on ahead, I’ll be watching from the stands,” he finally said, taking off without any further comment.

The guard grunted, turning to look Leo over before tilting his head and starting at a quick march down the hallways while Leo struggled to keep up the pace, staggering slightly from exhaustion. He blinked, his eyes seeming to fog everything over, and almost missing the shadowy figure leaning against the wall on their way towards the Battle Nexus arena.

“Turtly-boo!” Big Mama greeted, her black lipstick curving into a smile.

The guard abruptly drew to a stop, straightening up as his grasp on Leo’s arm tightened. Leo stumbled, leaning into the hold in order not to fall backwards.

“No, no, no need to stop,” Big Mama dismissed, dusting her jacket off in a practiced motion before stepping up beside them. She smiled at Leo, her eyes squinting in an almost friendly fashion if not for the glint within them. “I just wanted to see how that miserly meeting went. I’m sure it was… educational.”

The guard nodded at her before continuing on their way, although his pace was noticeably slower and more refined now. Leo stared down at his feet, too tired to even register if he was scared or not. His mind was just a thick, weighted cloud of uncertainty, too turbulent to focus on one specific moment of fear anymore.

“You know,” Big Mama continued. “Not that I want to keep you from your scheduled big show, of course, but you _do_ look like you could use a meal. Mayhaps a full night’s sleep in an actual bed?” She shot a look at Leo, but he merely closed his eyes, relying on the steadiness of the guard to not let him run into anything. “It’s your decision, of course, Kappa. But you _are_ aware Draxum will be stopping by every three days now, yes? I think you'll need your strength.”

Leo’s head turned to stare at her, his mouth dropping open. She stared back at him, one eyebrow quirked, before he grit his teeth and looked away again. Huginn had never said anything about that, he thought blankly. No one had said _anything_ about that.

He took a deep breath and shook his head. He was tired, hungry, thirsty, his neck was throbbing, but he… he couldn’t give up yet. He was going to make it out of here soon. His brothers would show up, or he would manage to fight off the guard when they were alone even if he was hurt and tired and _weak_ –

“Hmm. If you’re so sure,” Big Mama tutted, brushing her bangs back into place. She stopped walking, making a ‘free to go’ gesture by waving her hand at the guard. “I do have to wonder what on earth is making you so stubborn, though. Don’t you want to see your brothers again?”

Leo didn’t react, keeping his eyes trained forwards. His thoughts were splintering, cracking, swirling around and lingering on anything for too long just hurt too much.

So he wouldn’t think.

For now all he had to do was fight.

So that was exactly what he did.

* * *

Draxum’s katanas proved to be much better at their job. They no longer cut into Leo’s palms and also took less force to sink into his opponents, making it easier to not think about the sensation of cutting through flesh in the first place. Big Mama would occasionally appear in between fights to ask him along the same lines for signing whatever contract she had written up, but he forced himself not to react to any of her taunts. He drank whatever water he was given and ate all of the gross food he found. He had to learn how to force himself to stop being queasy after matches– a lost chance to eat was too dangerous now, when he needed the strength to keep going more than ever.

_Focus, Leo._

By the fifteenth match, Leo had become more efficient.

By the fifteenth match, and the sixth morning, he didn't wake himself up from sleep because his screams had set off the collar, he just quietly suffered through them, his urge to make any kind of sound fading fast. He could swear the pain was getting worse, perhaps from each shock building upon a now-old wound.

Draxum came and visited again. The frustrating thing was this time he didn’t even _do_ much, he just ordered Leo to take five paces that way, take five paces this way, do five jumping jacks, and then practice swinging his sword until Draxum told him to stop. Draxum didn’t say anything else except for those seemingly pointless commands for the entire time, Leo waiting for something to go wrong, for something crueler to click into place.

It was almost worse, he mused later that night, when no such thing happened. Because Leo was supposed to be smart _except Draxum made it clear he thought Leo was dumb_ a small voice whispered, so why couldn’t he just _figure it out_?

So now Leo was left to try and get what little sleep he could and wonder.

What was it that he was trying to achieve from visits like that?

By the twentieth match, Leo started facing multiple opponents at once. And it didn’t get easier, but it got _easier_ , he supposed. He started to notice he was less and less injured after each fight, and the number of times he had gotten shocked was only one shock for yelling when he got thrown again by a scorpion yokai and two shocks for another grunt when another yokai hit his plastron too hard in the same battle. The latter one had made him almost unable to stand, the double shock hurting worse than he had ever imagined.

Draxum hadn’t commented when he had seen the slightly larger burn mark on Leo’s neck that night, as he had merely made Leo run the same drills for hours once more, ignoring the fact Leo had already fought three matches that same day and was already exhausted. Every muscle burned, and he found himself trying to distance his mind from the exhaustion of his body, only focusing on Draxum's short, terse commands.

It wasn’t until the thirtieth match that he even realized that even small vocalizations he had tripped up on were practically nonexistent. Even instinctually it seemed his body knew better now. And, if that meant he wouldn’t be shocked anymore… Leo couldn’t bring himself to care in the moment what the deeper implications of _that_ particular thought meant.

And it should have come as no surprise that after all of that, by the fortieth match, Leo was _popular._ It was almost laughable as to how wild the crowd went when he walked into the arena, and Big Mama herself had taken to stop by to watch the entirety of his matches. She seemed almost grudgingly impressed with his refusals, even as Leo simultaneously noticed he would sometimes not receive any food at all in between matches as she tried to force his hand. It was the end of the two weeks that Leo was “competing” after all. He could tell she was getting impatient with him now and sometimes he wondered why he was still fighting against that.

Because by the fortieth match, Leo had finally learned to stop waiting with baited breath for his brothers to burst into his cell or the Battle Nexus, grab him by the wrist and pull him out of this mess. It had been too many days; he didn’t know how much longer they’d even bother to look for him.

He didn’t know if he’d even bother to look for himself at that point.

* * *

Leo took a deep breath and gingerly got back up, doing a mental scan over himself for any new injuries. His knees and elbows almost always seemed to get slightly hurt when he was thrown around during matches, but for once only his ankle throbbed. He must have twisted it a bit too hard trying to get out of the way.

“And what a penultimate battle, ladies and mutants!” the announcer crowed. “Even with a match eight to one, Kappa Kid’s win streak goes uncontested! Next up, the event everyone has been waiting for: a match against the deadly Kraken Tom, with either the crowning achievement or the end of Kappa Kid’s two week storm! Be sure to buy your tickets in advance, because you’re for sure not going to want to miss this!”

Leo wiped his swords on the ground, careful not to damage them but unwilling to carry them around with wet blood upon their blades. He cast a lingering look at the bodies scattered around him but shook his head, turning to go.

His trip back to his cell was now a familiar blur, his weapons taken until the next match before what felt like a few seconds later he was shoved back into his cell. Leo gasped as he stumbled slightly, having forgotten to brace himself for his hurt ankle, before he turned to watch the door swing shut.

He sat back down, gingerly, carefully, his ankle throbbing as he leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and tried to tell himself it would be okay. He tried to tell himself he would get through this.

_Just one more match... until Draxum drags me back to him._

…something was wrong.

His eyes opened, his eyes flicking from side to side as he tried to put a finger on the sudden alarm that drenched him with an icy chill. That wasn't a new fact, that was old news. He had been sitting on that for three weeks now, so why was he suddenly so alarmed? His stomach churned, his mind yelling at him, but he wasn’t sure what was wrong when his thoughts were–

…oh.

He couldn’t remember his voice.

He couldn’t remember his _voice._

Even with the imposed silence, he had always been able to hear the ghost of his thoughts, making some clever quip or making light of the situation. He had been doing that this whole time. It couldn’t be _gone_ , it was– it was him! It was his _voice,_ no one could take even that away from him–

But they had, _they had_ , he couldn’t form a thought that sounded like him anymore. He could hear _a_ voice, but it wasn’t his. Or, at least, he didn’t think it was. It– it wasn’t any of his brothers’ voices either, he didn’t think. What… what had each of _their_ voices sounded like, again? Raph had had a lower voice, of course but… but what was the exact sound of it? Where had it risen and fallen, exactly? Or Mikey’s? Donnie’s? How could he have possibly forgotten? What was wrong with him, that he had forgotten these simple, simple things?

_You really are a failure._

He wondered, sitting in the dark, if it was just his imagination… or if that voice actually sounded a little bit like a mix between Draxum’s and a stranger’s, a seeming sense of static softly crackling in the background as his thoughts futilely sought out who it was that he was meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: how are the others holding up after three weeks?
> 
> also, this chapter is dedicated to my friend Uni who had a rough week. Life might not come with the comfort tag fanfic does, but I hope yours will. <3


	12. Chapter Eleven: Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fridge opened, the automatic light flicking on.
> 
> The fridge shut.
> 
> It opened back up again, Mikey leaning in for a closer look, eyes scanning the fairly empty shelves as his foot rapped against the ground in a tap-tap-tap rhythm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, I was excited to write this chapter so surprise! Speedy update AND it's longer than usual. It was WELL deserved time for a slight tone shift, so. I hope you guys enjoy!! I sure did writing this. 
> 
> Whenever I'm working on a chapter and finish for the night, I put whatever I have in a draft on ao3 to read over in my bed because that's how I think fanfic should be consumed half the time. As a result, I live in constant fear I hit the small "post chapter" button right next to the "edit chapter" button. If you ever get an email update there's a new chapter but find out I have already deleted it.... I am so sorry lmao you can surmise that the dreaded misclick has, in fact, occurred. 
> 
> Fanart corner (you should go give these artists some love!):
> 
> cosmicdelta created some more amazing fanart with a [ comic](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/619927652152803328/once-again-eternalglitchcreates-has-hurt-me-with) and [ drawing.](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/620360621063569408/id-a-drawing-of-leo-from-rise-of-the-tmnt-he-is)  
> Butterflies attracted to turtle tears are a common rise fandom staple, and now we have a lfls edition by [wubbnuts](https://www.instagram.com/p/CBMrezBAA7d/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link). I'm not sure how butterflies got into the Battle Nexus, but I'm sure Leo appreciates some company.  
> Also, this piece by my friend, [painted-arachnid!](https://painted-arachnid.tumblr.com/post/620526777221201920/uh-oh-this-kids-got-trauma-boys-some-fanart-for) He's so talented, look at Leo's expression aaaa.

The fridge opened, the automatic light flicking on.

The fridge shut.

It opened back up again, Mikey leaning in for a closer look, eyes scanning the fairly empty shelves as his foot rapped against the ground in a tap-tap-tap rhythm.

“Hey, Raph?” he called, shifting some four-day old McDonald’s over. The bag slumped against even more fast food and takeout, the few items present in the otherwise food wasteland. Any of them were fit enough for a meal, but Mikey wasn’t particularly hungry– he never seemed to be, not nowadays. No, he was looking for a _specific_ meal that he had tried to save. “Where’s the um, the Chinese food?”

There was no answer and Mikey paused, a prickle of uneasiness in his stomach. He looked around, expecting Raph to be hovering over his shoulder like usual, but he was nowhere to be seen. Mikey swallowed, going still and listening for any sounds, his hand brushing against the Mad Dogs badge on his plastron.

No. No, _Raph had told him where he was going, he was literally on his way to meet up with him when he got distracted, why was he so freaked out–_

Mikey sighed, slammed the fridge shut again, and rubbed his eyes. _I’ll ask him about it later,_ he decided, passing by the kitchen table and sweeping a thick stack of paper up into his arms as he hurried towards the surface to go meet his brother.

On his way out, however, there was a small trill of music and beeping sounds that echoed around the Lair. Mikey froze mid-step, eyes widening. 

That was from the arcade. _But no one had entered there since…_

He almost dropped his papers in his hurry to get up to the arcade, trying to be realistic and walk calmly but finding his steps steadily speeding up little by little until he was running, arms pumping in time with his steps. A few stray papers escaped his grasp, fluttering onto the ground in his wake, but Mikey didn’t pay heed, skidding to a halt in front of the arcade’s entrance.

He paused, panting, and barely stopped himself from calling out the name on the tip of his tongue. It felt wrong to say it when it might not be him. It might be someone else, or, or a faulty machine turning itself back on and then _wouldn’t he feel silly about this or make someone feel bad–_

He took a deep breath, trying to get his breathing back under control, and crept inside, head swiveling as he scanned all of the machines. Most were idle, music quiet apart from the usual background hum, their screens on a simple menu loop. Only one was brightly lit up, a Japanese rhythm game that the boys all frequently played.

“Wh– _Donnie_?”

His brother startled, head jerking upright, as the game let out an upset sound and the screen flickered to a “COMBO LOST” notice.

Mikey headed over to him, brow furrowed. “When did you– I mean, Dee, I haven’t seen you outside of your lab in like three days, you should have said something– _oh._ ” Donnie had turned to look at him, expression irritated.

“Oh?” his brother parroted back, crossing his arms and leaning against the videogame. It kept letting out buzzing sounds, warning of yet another lost streak, but neither brother moved, both eyeing each other up and down. “What do you mean, and I air quote, ‘ _oh?_ ’”

“Nothing, nothing.” Mikey scratched the back of his head, shifting his paper stack to better rest in the crook of his elbow. “You just look… tired.” He winced, regretting the sentence as soon as it was out of his mouth.

Donnie’s right eyebrow twitched, his eyes narrowing. “Uh huh,” he said doubtfully. “I don’t suppose Raphael or April put you up to this.”

“No, not… not this time,” Mikey offered weakly. He shifted, uncomfortable, not liking the tension in the air between him and Donnie. It hadn’t improved too much in the last two and a half weeks, not ever since Raph and Donnie had started using him as a go between. He wanted to ask, wanted to actually _talk_ to his brother, but Donnie had that drawn look he seemed to have half of the time that meant he was about to shut the conversation down and go back to his lab. “So why are you… _here?”_

“You mean why am I not outside running around looking at red herrings and dead ends? Or why am I in the arcade in particular?” Donnie retorted, except suddenly he winced, one hand reaching up to lightly run over his bloodshot eyes. “No, _sorry_ , forget I said that Mikey. I just. Sorry.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “That was. That was wrong of me. I’m just… tired. _Regretful chuckle_ but, you were right about that observation.”

Mikey tilted his head, critically looking his brother over one more time. Despite not having gone out at all, his heavier battle shell was still on his back. In fact, Mikey hadn’t seen Donnie take it off since _that_ night. The taller turtle didn’t quite meet his eyes, blinking a bit as he tried to hide a yawn.

Mikey shot a discreet glance at his phone, tapping the screen to light up his notifications. Nothing from Raph, so he had a little bit of time. “Do you wanna talk about it with me?” he offered, taking a few more steps forwards. “When’s the last time we really spoke, huh, Donnie?”

His brother snorted, and Mikey is pleased to see a small smile appear. “Like last week. I caught you crying while making a sandwich at two am.”

“That was about me, and thus, does not count for this.”

Donnie shot him his famous raised-eyebrow look of skepticism that only the brother with visible eyebrows could manage, but conceded the point, nodding slightly. “There was that time thirty-eight days ago. We went out for smoothies and talked for three hours about varying topics of consideration. Or even seventeen days ago, after I yelled at Raph,” Donnie scowled. “Look, Mikey, you know I’m bad at this kind of thing.”

“You don’t have to be good at it. Just… try?” Mikey stepped over to the machine, close enough that he could pull Donnie into a hug if the situation called for it.

Donnie glanced at his face, looking for something, and apparently finding it. “Okay,” he agreed softly. “Okay, it’s just– these past three weeks I have been nothing but _thorough,_ ” Donnie said, waving one hand in the air as he talked. “I’ve built software that scanned through _every_ piece of footage from _that_ night and the days since, hacked phones in the area for their personal photos, did a phrase search across almost every major social media website, and still, nothing. Raph has triple checked with every villain we know, April has kept an eye out among humans, and you’ve talked to all of the friendly local yokai and checked Leo’s popular hangout spots.” His other arm joined in on the wide motions. “Heck, I think even _Dad_ exhausted all the resources he could think of!”

His brother shifted, pushing himself off of the video game machine, his figure backlit by the screen, his eyes shimmering slightly with the glow of the room’s lights. “Look, Michael, I just don’t know what else we can possibly do. I’ve beefed up our lair security, upgraded S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. three times, and created new communication panic devices for us. What else do you want me to try? Because _I_ ,” he said, jabbing at his plastron. “Am all ears! Honest! And no–“ he slammed one fist against the arcade game’s screen, the glass cracking slightly. Mikey flinched but didn’t move, ignoring the mess of pixels and cracked glass to watch Donnie’s face. ”Look, I _didn’t_ exactly want to waste my time playing video games of all things, but even though I can’t come up with anything more to do, my mind keeps going and going and _I can’t sleep, okay?_ Fine! I admit it! It’s not even stubbornness this time, like Raph seemed to think, it’s just my brain being a great big dum-dum and _keeping me up_.”

He sighed. “So. Yeah. _That’s_ why I’m in here.” He turned his head, examining the damage to the machine with a critical eye. “I can fix that for you,” he added under his breath. “At least I’m still able to do that.”

“You don’t have to prove you can be helpful–“ Mikey started, but Donnie wheeled around, staring at him with a glint in his eyes.

“Well, if I can’t show some sort of quantifiable advancement, then what do I have to show for all of my work?” he asked.

The box shell turtle shrugged, wrapping his arms around himself. He thought of Raph, looking over him with a worried expression, watching his every move to make sure Mikey didn’t also vanish into the night. He thought of walking by Donnie’s room, regardless of the hour, and hearing loud clacking of the keyboard and cursing. He thought of Dad passing by him, head bowed and tail dragging in defeat. He thought of himself, unable to do anything to help but try and pretend he was still optimistic about their odds. “Dunno,” he mumbled. “We haven’t gotten much done, either, Donnie.”

His purple-clad brother froze, blinking at him. “…Oh,” he said, a revelation, a moment of quiet understanding. “Oh, Michael, I’m… I didn’t… ugh, I can’t speak today.” He glanced towards the entrance of the arcade room, then back at Mikey. “Let’s just… where’s Raph?”

“Not far away,” Mikey answered. Almost as if sensing their train of thought, Mikey’s phone chirped, vibrating slightly. He hesitated on answering it, not liking how it would cut his talk with Donnie short. It had been a while since they had been able to do this. The phone chirped again, and Mikey slid it open to see the thought bubbles pop up that indicated a third message was rapidly incoming.

“Is that him?” Donnie asked, peering over Mikey’s shoulder.

“Yeah, it is. He’s been kind of…” Mikey hesitated. “Well. My shadow seems to have gotten much, much bigger.”

Donnie nodded. “Makes sense… I noticed that on my camera feeds. How has he um, been handling everything besides that?”

Mikey let out a snort. “I dunno, Dee. How have _you_ been handling everything?”

“…touché.”

Mikey sent a reply and leaned down to grab one of the papers that had escaped his grasp in his rush. He turned to go, until suddenly a thought struck him and he paused. “Hey, Donnie, um. You said you were out of things to try? And you can’t sleep, anyways?”

“…yeah?” his brother asked. “What, you have an idea?”

“Well, why don’t you come join me and Raph for the day? Some fresh air might give you some ideas, and I know we’d love to have your company!” Mikey enthused, his mind catching onto the idea.

Donnie glanced back at the rhythm game, watching the screen flicker. “But– I haven’t said much to Raph since… and he’s probably…”

“Missing his brother in a time of need? He sure is!” Mikey reached out, grabbing onto Donnie’s wrist. The softshell blinked at him slightly, surprised, but didn’t resist as Mikey pulled at him and led him out of the room. After a moment he started matching Mikey’s pace, and even when Mikey let go of him to start climbing the sewer ladders, Donnie climbed up right beside him, voicing no other objections.

After Mikey hit the manhole cover he slid it to the side, poking his head up only to see Raph’s feet right in front of his face.

“Mikey! There you are,” his eldest brother replied. “You’re late– I was getting _worried_.”

“Sorry Raph,” he replied, sneaking a glance at Raph’s agitated gaze. “It was only by a few minutes–” Raph’s face fell, and Mikey hastened to correct himself. “But next time if I know something’s come up I’ll text you in advance.” His brother nodded, relaxing slightly, before he bent down, offering a hand out to Mikey. He accepted it and was pulled out and onto his feet. “Oh, but I did have a good reason for it!”

“Good reason? What do you– is that _Donnie?_ ” Raph asked, eyes widening, as the turtle in question also poked his head out of the manhole.

“…hey, Raph,” Donnie greeted sheepishly. “Would you mind…?” Raph stared at him for another moment before reaching out his hand, Donnie clasping it and also letting Raph pull him out. “Thanks,” Donnie said.

“Anytime,” Raph agreed softly.

The three stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say, when Mikey noticed that Donnie’s eyes were shimmering slightly.

Mikey leaned over to Donnie, holding a hand up to whisper to him. “It’s Raph’s ‘glad to see you’ stink,” he confirmed, only half joking about the cause of Donnie’s reaction.

“Mikey. I _heard_ that,” Raph complained, but there was no bite to his tone. He and Donnie glanced at each other awkwardly for a moment longer before Donnie tapped his fingers together and hesitantly moved forwards, into Raph’s space to lean his forehead against the snapping turtle’s shoulder in an odd sort of hug. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

It didn’t look particularly great as far as hugs went, so Mikey improved it immensely by joining, giving a proper hug to both Donnie and Raph before the largest pulled them all in even closer.

“Hey, hey!” Donnie protested, but Mikey felt him relax, melting into their embrace slightly. “I haven’t bathed in like. Four days,” the genius grumbled.

“I’ve done worse,” Raph said, grip still tight. Mikey felt him shudder slightly, but after another, lingering moment, they released each other, Donnie retying his mask’s tails and trying to look coolly professional. None of them said anything about how suddenly all three siblings had wet marks around the eyeholes of their masks.

“So…” Donnie pulled out his tech bo, expanding it to full size. “What are we doing in broad daylight, anyways? Any ideas for where Leo is?”

“Ah!” Raph glanced over to a nearby dumpster, besides which another stack of papers had been placed. “We both made missing person posters for Leo. We were going to go throw them up.”

“Uh huh…” Donnie turned so he could look at both of them at once, confused. “And I thought I was the most sleep deprived one. You _do_ know you can’t just show all of New York that giant mutant turtles are running around, right? I mean, the outrage over that alone would be–“

“No, no, we’re not hanging them up around New York,” Raph interrupted.

Mikey nodded. “We’re gonna try the Hidden City,” he agreed. “Hueso gave us some tips on how to enter from around New York, so we decided we might as well try and see if other yokai have seen our brother around.”

“That… actually isn’t too bad of a plan,” Donnie admitted. He rested his closed fist on his chin, thinking. “It _is_ true that we’ve run out of our own resources for information.”

“Exactly! So, what do ya say, Dee? Wanna come?” Mikey asked. Donnie turned his head to focus on him and Mikey clasped his hands together. “Please?”

“All right, all right, I wasn’t going to say no _now_ ,” Donnie conceded.

A car drove by the alleyway they were in, horn blaring, and the three turtles pressed themselves against the closest wall. “Okay,” Raph said. “We’re decided then. Mikey, you brought the missing posters?”

“I did!” Mikey pulled the top piece of paper from his stack, holding it out to Raph for scrutiny. “You said you wanted variation to the photo you were using, so I made a bunch of new ones.”

The red turtle squinted at it, forehead furrowing. “Uh…” Raph said, shifting the stack of papers he had onto the other hip. “Maybe we just use the ones I made, Mikey.”

“What’s wrong with mine?” Mikey demanded, clutching the rest of his stack to his chest. His grip tightened, enough so that he felt the paper crinkle slightly, and he hastily loosened his hold, looking down to see if the damage could be smoothed out.

Donnie let out an exhausted sigh. “Hand them over,” he said, holding out a hand. Raph glanced over at Mikey again, apologetic, before handing one of his own and Mikey’s copy over to Donnie.

Donnie spread them out like a hand of playing cards in his grip, one eyebrow quirking slightly. “Uh, Mikey,” he started slowly. “Why did you draw Leo with– you know what, no, never mind, it’s great art, as always.” He glanced up at Raph, and Mikey didn’t miss the slight head shake their leader did. “But Raph might be onto something with the actual picture.”

“But none of the photos we had captured his good side,” Mikey protested. His stomach squirmed slightly, and he tried not to sulk as Raph patted his shell.

“Sorry,” his oldest brother offered. “I meant a picture, because it’s just…”

“Easier not to let some random turtle yokai get our hopes up,” Donnie finished. “Even if they _were_ somehow wearing one of Lou Jitsu’s outfits.”

Mikey bit his lip. He would _not_ throw a fit on how he spent hours on the drawing instead of sleeping, he told himself firmly. Raph’s would work just fine, it was… it was no big deal.

Even still, he couldn’t bring himself to just leave his posters there or toss them into one of the nearby dumpsters. He hung onto them even as they started to sneak down the alleyways towards the closest natural portal, avoiding any signs of the rare human straggler that could end up in these parts.

No one said anything, but Mikey felt the irregular way they spread out: a strange way for three people to walk because of the weird gap in the middle of them, as if they had an invisible member keeping pace with them.

He snuck a few looks at that eerie gap, the silence speaking volumes, before he remembered his earlier concern. “Raph?” he asked, trying to focus on his brother and not the gap where Leo should be. “Did you, uh, by any chance… did you eat some Chinese food recently?”

His brother hesitated. “Oh, that,” he said. “Sorry, Mikey, no. I think Dad kind of… threw it out?”

Mikey stopped walking. “Threw it out?” he echoed. “But– but _no,_ that was… that was Leo’s food–“

“It had gotten moldy, Mikey–“

“But it was _his!”_ Mikey clenched his fists, trying not to stamp his feet and act like a child. Both Donnie and Raph had also stopped, watching him, and Mikey forced himself not to burst into tears for like the twelfth time that week alone. So far he had been able to hide at least half of those times, and he didn’t need his brothers wasting time worrying over him _now._ “It was his,” he repeated softly.

“Listen,” Raph started softly. “We can order whatever he wants for an entire month straight once we find him, okay? But Mikey it was– it was time, it was getting really bad– I’m sure Dad didn’t mean–“

“I’m not blaming Dad!” Mikey shouted. It echoed in the alleyway, and he heard a cat shriek before there was the clattering of cans from a nearby trash pile. “That was just _his_.” He fought against the lump in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut to make the slight dampness he had felt coming on go away. “…never mind,” he muttered. “Sorry, let’s just go.”

“But–“ Raph started, but Donnie put a hand on his forearm and shook his head. Raph hesitated again, and Mikey took it as the opportunity to walk past them, silently taking the lead.

It was lucky that he had gone with Raph when Hueso shown them the location of the portal; elsewise he’d have to hang back and follow Raph, who was no doubt staring a hole into the back of Mikey’s head as he tried to come up with something to say to fix it all.

It– it was sweet, sure. Mikey knew he was trying his best, just like Donnie, and also knew that none of them wanted to admit that their best just wasn’t– no, he couldn’t even think about that.

It didn’t change that what Mikey really wanted to hear right now was a simple _“look who’s back!”_

They approached an old dumpster, one of many scattered around the area. Hueso had said that since it was New York, humans never thought twice about a surplus of them being scattered around, or didn’t look closely enough at dumpsters to notice when the graffiti on one mysteriously looked slightly different the next day. It was the simplest way to remember where a portal was though, not to mention the most discreet during daytime, so Raph and Mikey had agreed to use it rather than the other three entrances Hueso had showed them from places like the water tower or that one corner near Times Square.

Raph was the one that reached for the hidden lever, pulling it out as Donnie watched in fascination. There was a clunking sound, any garbage bags present falling down into the city, before the brothers all exchanged glances.

“I’ll go first,” Raph offered. “See if it’s safe.”

“Okay,” Mikey agreed quietly, forcing down the pang of fear at the thought of Raph being alone for even a moment. They had been fine just that morning running errands, it was _okay._ It wouldn’t happen again.

Raph nodded at them before hopping up onto the rim of the dumpster. He considered it for a moment before jumping, vanishing without another word.

“Hey, um, Mikey?” Donnie asked, looking around, puzzled. He rubbed his eyes, pausing to squint around them for a longer moment. “This isn’t… the dumpster where we found the pizza, was it?”

“The pizza?” Mikey echoed.

_An empty dumpster._

_Four scattered boxes._

_A few slices, dirtied, soiled, stepped on or forgotten._

“…no, that was. That was two blocks over.”

“…ah. My mistake.”

The two lapsed into silence before their phones chirped, both on full volume so the combined sound was ear-splitting enough that it startled both of them. Mikey glanced at the screen, seeing a thumbs up emoji from Raph.

“Right, let's–“ Mikey turned just in time to catch his brother mid-yawn, who rushed to force himself out of it and un-convincingly pretend he hadn’t been doing that. “Let’s go,” Donnie finished.

They both climbed onto the rim of the dumpster, peering down at the drop over the city. Mikey exchanged a glance with Donnie before they both jumped, the wind making Mikey’s eyes water in the few seconds between jumping and hitting the ground.

He landed in a crouch, relaxing only when he saw Raph waiting for them a few steps away.

“Okay, boys, here’s the plan,” Raph said, waving them closer. He was on a ledge overlooking the Hidden City just below, and Mikey noticed that this area was mainly a maze of stalls and small shops lining crowded streets, yokai spilling out of bars and restaurants and chattering with each other. “We’re going to go hang these posters up until we run out. If you see any yokai with three faces on a uniform, Hueso said to avoid them _– Donnie–_ just in case, so be sure not to cause any trouble.” Raph nodded to himself.

“Okay. Did you bring anything to hang them up with?” Donnie asked.

Raph paused. “Uh,” he started.

Donnie reached into his battle shell, rummaging around inside of what Mikey could only assume was an extra pocket inside of it. “It’s fine,” he said. “I keep electrical tape on me at all times. It isn’t _ideal_ , but it’ll do. Here.” He tossed one roll of the black tape at Mikey, who reflexively reached out and caught it. “I have two rolls, so. Michael and I will each–“

“We’re staying together,” Raph interrupted, crossing his arms.

Donnie quirked one eyebrow. “I know,” he muttered. “That doesn’t mean we can only put up a single poster at a time. What about on windows or walls within view of each other?”

Mikey turned, looking out at all of the yokai hustle and bustle with a slight tinge of curiosity. It was a shame that this was the reason they had finally come to the Hidden City’s shopping area. Leo would have loved to mess around here, he thought distantly. Probably would’ve challenged them all to race through the shopping area or find the best place for Hidden cuisine first.

Raph grunted. “Yeah, that works. Mikey?” he asked. “You’ve been… quiet. Are you sure–“

“Yeah, I’m fine, Raph.” Mikey turned, meeting the concerned stare of the red turtle. “I’m just over reacting. I’ll be okay.” He forced a smile onto his face, tilting his head slightly. “Besides, now that Donnie is out with us again, nothing can stop us!”

A larger yokai flapped overhead, screeching, and Raph and Mikey jumped slightly, Donnie blearily squinting up to examine it. “Hueso didn't happen to say we would be attacked by a giant mutant bird, did he?” Donnie asked.

Raph paused, considering. “Nope,” Raph answered, drawing out the vowel sound. “But let’s go ahead and go into the city, just in case.”

They helped each other climb down from the cliff, hesitantly approaching the Hidden City’s closest entrance, a dark purple-colored archway. Glowing blue lanterns were strewn back and forth in the air over the street, and the majority of stores were open-fronted, with no actual windows. An unnerving lime green hue seemed to be the common light sources inside the shops, and even though it was daytime, the location of the Hidden City ensured that everything was still not as well-lit as the surface.

“Here,” Raph said, offering Mikey a third of his own stack of flyers. “Do you want me to go with Donnie or…?”

Mikey shot a crestfallen glance at his drawn posters, still tucked under his left arm, but accepted it without any other voiced objections and nodded. Raph opened his mouth, looking like he had something else to add, but then shut it again. He patted Mikey on the head before turning to go talk to Donnie, who had nearly staggered into another yokai and was busy apologizing.

Mikey watched Raph head over, talking to the annoyed yokai while Donnie rubbed his shoulder and stared at the ground. Raph turned and said something to Donnie, who replied, but even at a distance Mikey could almost see the way Donnie and Raph leaned away from each other, uncomfortable.

Well, it did make sense. After three weeks not everything could be fixed just like that unless–

An image of Leo leaning on Donnie’s shoulder as he struggled not to keel over laughing surfaced in Mikey’s thoughts and the youngest shook his head, feeling his mask tails bob with the motion.

He headed over to a street post, which looked like it was what was holding up where the lanterns were all tied off to. It was located towards the side of the street, just out of the way enough but still in view that it was a perfect place for a poster. Mikey pressed one poster against the wood, trying not to let his eyes linger on the photo of Leo flashing a thumbs up at the camera. He glanced down, realizing he would have to fully use his other arm, and bent down to set his stack of drawings down before taking the black tape roll and using his teeth to rip a section off. One poster done, he reached down, picked his stack back up, and headed to the storefront a few paces over.

It went like that for a while; every so often Mikey would look around to find Raph and Donnie on the other side of the street, often meeting one of their own furtive glances in the process.

After about an hour he came across a crowd of yokai gathered around one of the bar-like stores, enough so that even clustered together they spilled out into the street area and Mikey had to take a detour to avoid being bumped into by several obviously intoxicated yokai.

As he made his way over, they all suddenly erupted into loud chatter and yelling, Mikey jumping as he glanced over to make sure they weren’t yelling at him.

 _Oh wait,_ he realized. _One of them might know something._ He shifted, looking over the yokai for anyone that seemed willing to talk, but all of them were fixated on what looked to be a bunch of screens taking up every inch of the inner walls. Mikey craned his neck, but he was too short, and the yokai were too numerous and packed together, so he had to give up on seeing what was so interesting. Shaking his head, he backed away from the chatter and the scent of alcohol.

There was what looked like a bulletin board a little ways over, still in eyesight of the bar. Mikey, hoping that someone leaving the bar once the sport or tv show that the bar was showing ended would see it, stopped to put up another poster.

He put it in the smack middle of the board, firmly fixing the poster over older wanted posters and advertisements. He paused for one moment as he took in how small the piece of paper looked in comparison to the rest of the board before slipping a copy of his own version out to tape it up just beside the other one. It looked better that way. Less lonely.

He had just picked up his other posters again when another burst of cheering erupted from the bar, drawing Mikey’s attention back to it. He should have kept going, but he could see Raph and Donnie a little ways down the street, far enough behind him that he could go see what the big fuss was about and be back to hanging up posters before his brothers even noticed he was gone for a moment. _It… it wouldn’t hurt just to look_ , he told himself. _Maybe I could get someone’s attention this way and ask about Leo._

Mikey approached the crowd of yokai again, this time not taking no for an answer and pushing his way to the front, intent on seeing what was going on. “Excuse me, sorry, coming through,” he mumbled as yokai shifted and grunted at him, but it did the trick because he shoved his way into the front, plastron colliding with a standing bar top.

The bartender huffed at him, saying something about no kids allowed, but Mikey ignored him, looking around with wide eyes. On the counter were three large orbs, and on the walls were dozens of floating holographic screens, all tuned into the same channel.

A bad feeling bubbled in Mikey’s stomach but he ignored it, craning his head to stare into the orbs in front of him as he tried to process what he was looking at.

The screens flickered once before they all showed several things in rapid succession: a coliseum being panned over, Big Mama waving at the cameras. A screaming audience, and an announcer, saying something that the crowded bar swallowed up whole. A blue mask tail, waving in the wind.

From behind Mikey, somewhere in the street, a familiar voice rang out. “Mikey!” Raph called, but his voice was underwater, unclear, uncertain, as the televised orbs and holographic screens seemed to grow larger and larger, threatening to swallow the small silhouette of the turtle standing in front of them whole, the box shell turtle forgetting that the crowd of yokai was even there at all.

Because…

Because it was _him_.

It was Leonardo.

It was his brother.

His pile of papers all fluttered to the ground, long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Splinter and April will get their situations clarified next chapter, this one started to get bulky.  
> Stay tuned for the end of the Nexus Arc in two chapters!
> 
> Also, originally the boys actually saw action figures of Leo being sold lmao. I might show that deleted scene on my tumblr @eternalglitch later this week because I do like it a lot, it just didn't fit the tone anymore so it had to go. So. maybe check out my tumblr? haha. 
> 
> Commenting also is GREATLY appreciated <3


	13. Chapter Twelve: Looking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No. No, Raph couldn’t get his hopes up again, not after three weeks of nothing–
> 
> “Michael,” Donnie started, voice tight, measured. “Did you find–“
> 
> “Leo!” the box turtle managed to gasp out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter. It is long. lol.  
> Could I have split it in two? Yes. Did I want to? No.  
> Anyways. I've been overwhelmed with everyone's support recently and working hard to keep delivering, so. Let's get to it!
> 
> Fanart:  
> There's SO MUCH GOOD STUFF here, so please check it all out! Note that if I have forgotten anyone and haven't reached out or anything, either your art has been deleted (?) or I genuinely forgot / missed it. Shoot me an ask on tumblr or twitter @eternalglitch or insta @eternal.glitch and I'll either update this chapter or add it to the next one!!  
> [ cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/620635716818550785/id-a-two-image-mini-comic-the-first-panel-has-an)  
> [cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/621127270916145152/id-an-8-panel-comic-the-entire-comic-is-for-the)  
> [cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/621745650611175424/id-a-drawing-of-leo-and-donnie-leo-preparing-an)  
> [ painted-arachnid](https://painted-arachnid.tumblr.com/post/620642607602827265/warning-pretty-big-spoilers-for-chapter-11-of)  
> [starlight-lotus](https://starlight-lotus.tumblr.com/post/620695959563812864/its-fine-guys-hes-only-suffering-from-extreme)  
> [starlight-lotus](https://starlight-lotus.tumblr.com/post/621233703356661760/oh-wow-emotions)  
> [unichurro](https://unichurro.tumblr.com/post/621025283858890752/did-a-drawing-for-eternalglitchcreates-s-fic)  
> [unichurro](https://unichurro.tumblr.com/post/621827417224478720/i-still-think-about-this-scene-a-lot-please-go)  
> [purble-turble](https://purble-turble.tumblr.com/post/621217820530933760/a-scene-from-the-fanfiction-like-father-like-son)  
> [painted-arachnid](https://painted-arachnid.tumblr.com/post/621680222258053120/leo-says-fuck-for-the-first-time-in-rottmnt-fanfic)  
> [Leleyume](https://leleyume.tumblr.com/post/621758057934946304/some-sad-leons-and-cj-that-last-leo-pic-is)  
> [art-motiif](https://art-motiif.tumblr.com/post/622055790247804928/my-fault)  
> [babybi-bibi](https://babybi-bibi.tumblr.com/post/622107214453342208/really-love-eternalglitch-rottmnt-fic-you-should)  
> [onelinery](https://twitter.com/onelinery/status/1277901850763833346?s=20)  
> [salm0nek0](https://www.instagram.com/p/CBf9QYwJOz5/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)  
> [salm0nek0](https://www.instagram.com/p/CBf7OS3JXSw/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)  
> [I drew this myself lol](https://eternalglitch.tumblr.com/post/621050472957083648/is-it-fanart-if-you-draw-it-for-your-own-fanfic)  
> [tenk0saur](https://tenk0saur.tumblr.com/post/622195785114763264/gift-for-eternalglitch-their-fanfic-titled); warning for flashing gif!  
> I had an ask on tumblr about rise!Leo meeting lfls!Leo and so we have art of that by [painted-arachnid](https://painted-arachnid.tumblr.com/post/621771397939838976/what-happened-to-you) and [unichurro](https://unichurro.tumblr.com/post/621772708015915008/im-a-battle-nexus-champion-a-little-messy-comic)  
> [aoshimaonwards](https://aoshimaonwards.tumblr.com/post/620609589179744256/like-father-like-son-by-eternalglitchcreates) \- an animatic of the blood markings scenes that did, in fact, kill me.  
> [3drottmnt](https://3drottmnt.tumblr.com/post/622271843282403328/please-check-eternalglitchs-fanfic-like-father) \- warning for flashing images but also a really cool animatic!!  
> 

“Mikey!” Raph called again, cupping his hands around his mouth. He felt a shudder run through his body, his breath coming in and out too fast. His palms were slick with sweat so he dropped them down to his chest to fiddle with them nervously, still wildly looking around until he felt dizzy enough to throw up.

“Raph,” a voice said, a hand grabbing his shoulder. The sensation gave him something to latch onto, grounding him. “It’s okay, I’m sure he’s just blocked from view by all of these yokai,” Donnie continued, his voice low. “Look.”

His brother held up his arm, his usual purple holographic screen floating in place. As Raph squinted at it, he made out a bright purple and red dot, with an orange one close by, all surrounded by squiggles. It took him a moment of staring at it blankly, waiting for something to make sense, before he finally managed to piece it together.

“That’s… a map?” Raph swallowed, struggling to get his breathing back under control. “With us?”

The second eldest nodded. “Yeah, and I set it to beep if anyone went more than a hundred feet away from the others. See? Mikey’s coming back right now.” Donnie frowned, lowering his forearm so he could get a closer look at it. “Just really… fast…? Huh, that’s… peculiar.” The purple-clad turtle squinted at the screen as Raph looked up, the buzz of the crowd spitting out what seemed to be the last part of his name.

“Donnie!” Mikey’s voice called out again. “Raph!”

Raph finally spotted Mikey, the small turtle turning sideways as he was running to squeeze in between two yokai before continuing to sprint towards them, arms pumping as he pushed himself to go faster.

He skidded to a halt in front of them, already moving again, gasping out their names in panicked breaths as he reached for Raph’s arms, pulling him, tugging him, feet braced against the ground as he tried to move Raph entirely by force. “Raph, come on, we gotta– you need to see–“

“Whoah, Mikey?” Raph let himself be pulled, the smaller turtle leaning against his weight as he tried to make faster headway. Raph stumbled slightly; it was an awkward way to move when he didn’t know where exactly Mikey was trying to take him, never mind the fact that he didn’t want to accidentally step on Mikey’s feet. “What– what is it?”

“You need to see!” Mikey shouted, not dropping his volume at all even though he was right next to them.

Raph turned to look at Donnie, puzzled, and the purple turtle blinked back at him right before both older brothers felt the moment the same thought hit them, a long-lost puzzle piece clicking into place.

No. No, Raph couldn’t get his hopes up again, not after three weeks of nothing–

“Michael,” Donnie started, voice tight, measured. “Did you find–“

“Leo!” the box turtle managed to gasp out. Raph and Donnie stiffened. “I– I saw–“

“ _Where_?”

A shaking arm pointed. “Over– in the bar–“

Mikey didn’t get to finish before Raph scooped him up with one hand, placing him onto his shell before taking the lead in the direction that Mikey had indicated. It was straight through the crowd of yokai but Raph paid them no heed, plowing straight through them like they weren’t even there. As yokai dove to the left and right, cussing Raph out, he could see Donnie in the corner of his eye following in the gap left behind them.

Raph slid to a halt in front of the bar, craning his neck as he looked around. There were only a few patrons, two talking in a corner and one drinking by the counter, where another yokai waited on him. No Leo. There was a bunch of… televisions, but not quite the same as what Raph knew as such, and even more of those vision orbs that the yokai seemed to prefer everywhere. A bunch of trampled papers were on the ground. No Leo.

Mikey let out a soft sound in the back of his throat. “No,” he said, jumping off of Raph’s shell and landing in a crouch. He hurried over to one of the floating screens, reaching out to touch it and drawing back when his hand went straight through it, the screen flickering slightly. He stared at the screen, lost, as a commercial played about a nearby yokai resort. “He was– he was right there I swear, I saw him guys, you have to believe me, he was _right there–_ “

“On the screens?” Donnie asked slowly, both hands clutching his tech bo until his knuckles were pale.

Mikey nodded frantically, his mask tails bouncing up and down. “Yes! He was in the…” Mikey’s eyes widened. “I know where he is. _I know where he is, we gotta go right now!”_ The youngest tried to dart back out but Raph caught him by the back of the shell, lifting his little brother as he kept trying to run, legs kicking air. “Raph, stop. Put me down! Put me down, I can go get Leo!”

“Whoah, whoah,” Raph said, ignoring how his own heart was hammering in his throat. He couldn’t just let his little brother dash off alone like that, not where Raph couldn’t see him. And _certainly_ not off to whoever had already taken one of his family. “Mikey, where?”

Mikey gave up, shooting Raph a scowl and letting his legs dangle. “The Battle Nexus! It was Big Mama! She– she brothernapped Leo!”

His voice rang out, almost echoing in the small store, and Raph’s eyes widened. What? No, no, that was too obvious, too simple. If Leo was there, it wouldn’t have taken them three weeks to find out about that. He had spoken to Big Mama three times, same as all of the other yokai and mutants he could think of, and as for the actual Nexus, his dad had said that he was sure Leo wasn’t there so– so Pops had surely done a thorough sweep of the place, right?

As Raph stood there, frozen, Donnie asking something in a hushed, urgent tone to Mikey. Raph blinked a few times and shook his head, suddenly noticing that the yokai in the shop had gone silent, shooting wary looks over at them instead. He turned his head, wondering what they were so interested in, when the yokai behind the bar sighed and flicked the collar of a black and white jacket up. He headed around the bar and towards them, stopping only a few feet away.

“Excuse me, there’s a problem?” the bartender asked, voice frosty.

“Uh,” Raph hesitated, drawing slightly back at the glare the yokai was shooting them. He was larger than Raph and menacing, with four arms and orange skin. “No, no problem.”

The yokai sighed. “I wasn’t asking if _you_ had a problem,” he clarified. “There _is_ a problem. I told that kid before, I don’t serve children.” He pointed at Mikey, whose head shrank slightly down into his shell. “And don’t try to lie about that– I can tell you’re all kids just from the look of you lanky lot.”

“A–ah, you mean your alcoholic beverages,” Donnie finally said, snapping out of his silence and holding up a finger. “Fear not, we were just checking your television screens for something.”

The bartender raised an eyebrow but seemed to mull it over. “Hmph. Kids these days. This isn’t a free movie theater showing, it’s a sports bar.” He crossed the bottom pair of arms, his top right hand scratching the stubble on the underside of his chin. “Although, what with the current championship, I _suppose_ I can see why you would sneak in to see the finals. I’ll let you off this once, yeah? But I don’t want to see you around here again until you have your dual decade celebrations.”

“Ah! Yes. Right, the current… championship,” Raph repeated. He slowly set Mikey back down onto his feet, the three brothers all exchanging a puzzled glance. “What championship, exactly?”

The two yokai talking in the corner snorted, one of them chuckling. “You kids live under a rock or something?” they called over, laughing. “The Kappa Kid one, it’s been the talk of the town for the last two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” Donnie muttered, his hand coming to his chin. Raph shifted, also curious. It wasn’t an exact match of Leo’s vanished three weeks, but this wasn’t a clear indication that it _wasn’t_ him. Donnie looked back up. “I can’t say we’ve heard of that, no,” he said carefully. “Would you mind catching us up to speed?”

The bartender grunted, shrugging his shoulders. “Big Mama found herself another brawler,” he said. “Happens every so often– she does love to have tournaments every now and then. Always brings in more business, so I can’t say I’m upset about it.”

“But it was _Leo_ ,” Mikey finally spoke up. “The, the mutant on the screen. That was our brother!” Raph glanced back at Mikey’s eyes, shimmering with unshed tears but his whole posture tensed and clearly agitated, and he was suddenly hit with the realization that it must really be true. Leo was fighting in that barbaric Battle Nexus all alone, and he probably had no idea what was taking his brothers so long.

The other yokai stopped laughing. “Hey, they’re right,” the third patron muttered. “They do look sorta like Kappa Kid.”

“Look, we’ll get out of your fine, uh, establishment right after this,” Raph promised, gesturing at the screen, which was now showing a commercial for some kind of scale-growth serum. He had to see Leo, he had to make sure he was okay. “But could you let us check what’s going on? We haven’t seen our brother in a while, so…”

“Well, you’re out of luck. That was the last match for the day, Kappa Kid always closes out with the final one.” The bartender shifted, looking them up and down with some kind of soft expression now in his gaze. He opened his mouth and then averted his gaze, hesitating. “Did your older brother walk out on a debt or…?”

“Older brother?” Donnie asked, eyebrows raising. “He’s fourteen.” The bartender paled. “Listen, could you give us any information on where we could find him? Where do Nexus fighters stay?”

The bartender blanched, raising all four hands palms facing out and stepping back slightly. “It’s not a good idea for you kids to mess with Big Mama,” he warned. “Nothing good ever comes from _that_. Listen, if Kappa Kid really is your brother, it might just be best to let him enjoy his new career– he’s quite skilled at it, he actually has a fairly good betting pool for tomorrow’s big match–“

“Tomorrow’s match!” Raph straightened up. “When is it?”

“Tickets are sold out already–“ Raph cleared his throat, and the bartender sighed. “Around noon,” he gave in. “If you just want to check on him, I could let you watch…?”

“Not needed,” Donnie waved him off. Raph glanced over at him, wondering what he was thinking, when Mikey tugged at his arm.

He was right, nothing else to learn here. “Well, thanks for the, uh, information,” Raph managed to get out, his brain churning.

“Stay out of trouble,” the yokai got out, abruptly turning and heading back to furiously clean glasses at the bar, avoiding looking back at them. The customers, meanwhile, all turned to watch them leave with the expectant gazes of people that knew a train wreck was about to go down, but the three brothers were unconcerned with the attention at the moment.

“Well, Raph?” Donnie finally spoke up, turning to look at him once they were out of both vision and hearing range. “What now?”

Raph rested his hand on the point of his chin and closed his eyes, trying to think. He wanted, more than anything, to rush into the Battle Nexus right now and smash his brother out of there. But something else told him that that wasn’t what a good leader would do right now.

He opened his eyes, turning to fully face his brothers. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

Mikey puffed up, arms straight by his sides as his hands clenched into fists. “But–“

“I know!” Raph said. “I know. But…” he turned to look at Donnie. “Donnie, you always warned me about rushing into things. Like that– that helmet you made, or that time Pops got sick– and I can’t risk something like that now! I have to be better, because if I mess this up”–he didn’t look away, but Donnie did– “what if I set us back by days on recovering our brother?”

“Raph–“ Donnie started, but paused, rubbing his elbow with the other arm. “No, you’re right,” he reluctantly agreed.

“Dee!” Mikey protested.

Donnie shook his head. “I’m sorry, Mikey, but we don’t even really know what’s going on right now. If you give me a few hours I can try and hack Big Mama’s hotel’s servers, see what’s going on, as well as try and come up with a way to sneak inside without tickets or alerting the guards.”

Mikey shifted, frowning. “Well… I guess,” he muttered. “But tomorrow– you promise we’ll go get Leo?”

“Yeah,” Raph said, clenching one fist in front of his chest. “We’re getting Leo tomorrow all right.”

The other two turtles nodded, determination in their eyes, and Raph realized with a jolt that he hadn’t seen such life in them in… weeks. Gone was the tired, aimless exhaustion and in its place was a pointed drive to get things done. Even as he recognized it in his own brothers, Raph realized he could feel his own miasma of hurt and confusion clearing, a glowing road of steps to take now _finally_ being paved before him.

Raph nodded back, pride in his two younger siblings warming his chest, before a thought struck him.

“We need to tell Dad and April about this.”

* * *

Raph hopped down onto the sewer floor, the security system letting out the usual warning tone as Donnie and Mikey followed after him.

“Uh huh,” Donnie was saying, using his goggles’ headphones to speak on the phone. “No, not right now– you don’t need to rush over–“ he paused, listening to April talk. “Yeah, I know, but Raph wants to wait. Mmm, yeah, I agree but– you shouldn’t do that.” He turned to Raph. “Should April come with us tomorrow?”

Raph and Mikey exchanged a glance. “It’s a school day, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Donnie agreed. “April, are you still grounded?” He winced. “Yeah, I gotcha.” He looked back at them. “She says her parents are still a bit concerned she cut History to go look around the city again, but she’s willing to brave their rage.”

“I don’t want to get her in trouble,” Mikey murmured, Raph nodding in agreement.

Donnie nodded, repeated it, and then arched one eyebrow. “No, I will not, and I quote, _‘be willing to throw down outside at five am’_ to keep you from coming. What do you– okay, okay, no, I got it.” He looked back at Raph. “She said she’s coming tomorrow morning.”

Mikey let out a quiet giggle. “Sounds like April.”

“Yeah,” Raph agreed softly. He hadn’t wanted to push it if it would get her in more trouble, but… But it did feel better to have at least four on a mission, rather than three.

They started walking again as Donnie finished up the call and hung up, their footsteps hurried and almost constantly just outpacing each other as they rushed to get back. There was no actual urgency, of course, they would have to wait until tomorrow anyways, but the simple fact that they now had an idea of where Leo was was a game changer. They now knew how to move forwards and no longer did Raph’s eyes constantly scan every surface like they might happenstance come across their brother while just aimlessly heading to and from locations.

They entered the main part of the Lair and Donnie started to peel off, making a beeline for his lab. Raph grabbed his shoulder, and his brother looked back at him with his eyebrows furrowed. “Wait,” Raph started. “Can you… come help us talk to Dad?”

Mikey turned his head and peered into the television room. “He’s still in his room,” the youngest reported back.

Raph let go of Donnie, also turning to look. Sure enough, his TV chair was empty. “Still?”

Their tech expert typed on his wrist screen, squinting at it. “My security systems say there’s been no movement in or out of his room in three days,” Donnie said. “Please tell me he dragged food in there with him.”

“And the whole microwave,” Mikey solemnly agreed.

“It’s been pretty bad, Donnie,” Raph agreed. He rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders. “Okay. Let’s go, he’ll be happy to hear the news.”

They entered his room as quietly as possible, sliding the shoji doors open with a soft click. The room was dark, the only light coming from the old television set as some Japanese commercials played softly in the background.

Raph’s foot hit something and it was sent bouncing across the floor, the snapper flinching slightly before he drew back. “Hey, Dee,” he whispered.

“On it.” His brother hit his wrist screen once, his face illuminating with the soft blue light. Donnie, using his tech as a light source, navigated his way across the floor and reached the lamp by the bed. He turned it on, the room taking on a red tint as the turtles were left blinking and squinting as their eyes adjusted.

Raph suppressed an obvious wince at the mess. Their father had had periods in his life like this before, of course, particularly when they were younger– periods where he seemed quieter and withdrawn before he ended up vanishing into his room for days or a week or two at a time, leaving the young turtles to figure out how to cook and order food for themselves if they didn’t want to go through all of their junk food until their dad felt better. That or he sequestered himself in his chair in the living room and stubbornly refused to budge as he marathoned show after show or just watched commercials on repeat. Regardless, it always looked a bit like this when they finally got him back up on his feet: food wrappers scattered on the floor and bed, the sheets yanked off and piled on top of the lump of their father, and a distinct tang in the air that spoke of a lack of showers.

Raph took in a deep breath, trying to put on his “calming and respectfully cautious voice” that Leo had once told him was just what baby talk sounded like, and crouched down by the lump on the bed.

“Heeeey, Dad–“ he started, when Mikey reached over and yanked the sheet off of Splinter in one big motion.

“Dad, we found Leo!” the box shell turtle exclaimed.

Their father shrieked, pressing his hands over his eyes. “Huh, what?” he yelped. He opened one eye and glared through his fingers at them. “Boys! What did I tell you about coming into my room like this?”

“Dad, you didn’t hear me. We _found_ _Leo_ ,” Mikey stressed, eyes shimmering. He sniffed and lifted his mask so he could wipe at his eyes unhindered, Splinter slowly sitting up in bed.

The rat mutant turned red-rimmed eyes on them, still squinting. “I’m sorry, boys, I think I’m still half asleep. I thought you said that you found Blue.”

“Well, he’s not _here,_ ” Donnie said. “But yes, it does seem like we’ve located Nardo’s whereabouts.”

Splinter stared at them, his eyes drifting from Donnie to Mikey and then to Raph, staring, searching, seemingly waiting for the punchline.

“Pops?” Raph asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

Their father’s head slowly turned so he was blankly staring at the wall, one hand slowly coming up to cover his mouth. His ears flattened slightly, pressing down, and he blinked several times in rapid succession. “Where?” he managed to ask hoarsely. “I was _sure_ that he was…”

“No, Michael saw him,” Donnie said.

Mikey nodded furiously. “Big Mama has him! Even though we went and _asked_ her if she knew!“

Raph opened his mouth, about to agree, when Splinter went stiff, eyes wide. “Your brother is _what?_ ” their dad demanded. “Wait– how do you four know Big Mama?!”

“Uh,” Mikey stammered. “We’ve just happened to run into her?” He glanced at Raph for help, and Raph sighed.

“Don’t worry, Pops, we’re about to go get him. We know where he is now, so it’s only a matter of time,” Raph assured him, managing a tired and wobbly smile. He thought about Leo staggering to his bed, flopping down and loudly complaining that he’d never move again. He thought about Leo acting like he (rightfully) deserved to be spoiled for weeks on end. He thought about them all laughing again, things back to normal, and his smile grew slightly, becoming more confident in the expression of happiness.

Splinter didn’t look relieved, his eyebrows slowly creeping upwards. “I’m coming,” their dad suddenly said, getting up. He slid off of the bed and started to rummage through the boxes of cardboard cluttering up the sides of the room.

“Uh, Dad,” Raph tried, watching Splinter go from box to box and dump them out, ignoring the growing mess swallowing up the floor of his room. “This isn’t like that time Mikey ran off to join the circus. The Battle Nexus has, erm… guards? This is serious.”

Splinter paused. Raph couldn’t see what expression was on his face, but his voice was heavy when he replied.

“…yes. I’m aware.” Their dad turned around, and for the first time in years Raph felt small before the mutant before him. “That’s why I’m getting my son _out of there_.”

The siblings couldn’t help but move aside as the rat stalked past them, his eyes narrowed and his figure suddenly imposing. “Must have left it in the weapon’s area,” he muttered to himself. 

“Dad, wait–“ Raph said, starting to go after him when Donnie tapped his shell.

The softshell turtle nodded towards his lab. “I need to get started on the schematics of tomorrow,” he murmured. “Can you handle Dad?”

“I’ve got him,” Mikey suddenly said, darting in between them and hurrying after where their father’s tail flicked and vanished around the corner.

Mikey would probably need backup– their father could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be– but Donnie wasn’t wrong in assuming that between Raph and Mikey they would have this covered. “Go,” Raph agreed softly, turning away and following Mikey.

* * *

In the living room, Splinter ended up insisting that they go over exactly what had happened three whole times, grilling the two on what they had seen. At one point, while Mikey was re-re-redescribing what he had seen on the screens, Raph had slipped over to the fridge and microwave area to make tea for the three of them with the new self-heating teapot Donnie had made a few weeks back to replace the creepy old one their dad insisted on using (in the meanwhile, Skully remained in the kitchen, as Splinter insisted the tea made with it was usually better.) He was careful to grab the non-caffeinated brand of tea; they needed whatever rest they could get once they finished planning for tomorrow.

He turned around just in time to see Splinter stumble over to his chair, falling backwards into it. He dragged a hand down his face, thinking.

“Uh, Pops?” Raph asked carefully, shifting so that he didn’t drop any of the three cups. He hadn’t grabbed a tray, so he was precariously holding them by wrapping his hands around all three cups and praying they didn’t shatter in his grip. “Are you okay? I get that it’s a lot to take in, but–”

“Do you think that he ran away because I wasn’t present enough in you boys’ lives?” Splinter finally asked.

“W-What?” Mikey stammered.

Splinter’s ears flattened. “There’s no reason she should have noticed him. I was so careful, she shouldn’t have even been aware that you four _existed–_ “

“Here,” Raph offered, stooping over to offer one of the cups to Splinter. Their father instinctively reached out and took one, nestling it in his hands and staring down into the liquid.

“Thank you, Red,” he said quietly.

Raph nodded and turned to hand Mikey a cup of his own. “So… first of all,” he started carefully. “You keep saying ‘she.’ You wouldn’t happen to be talking about Big Mama, would you? I didn’t know you two even knew each other.”

“And I wish we didn’t,” Splinter growled. Raph blew on his tea, his gaze not leaving his father’s. “I regret the day that that eight-legged menace walked into my life, even if…” he trailed off. “She’s dangerous,” he concluded. “If Blue has made a deal with her, we are in trouble. Nobody outsmarts her, which is why she’s so deadly. Whatever she may have offered Blue, it’s nothing but a trap.”

“But Leo never would have just _left_ us like this. Not without his sword, and not when there’s such obvious signs that there was a struggle,” Mikey protested. “Donnie _proved_ that.” He bit his lip, brow furrowing, and wrapped his arms around his plastron. “Besides, he wouldn’t have done that. He just… that’s not who Leo _is_. He would have told us, or, or _something_.”

“Not to mention that out of all of us, Leo hates Big Mama the most. He never trusted her– he knows better,” Raph supplied, Mikey nodding along with him as his younger brother sipped at the tea as well.

Splinter looked up at him, expression uncertain, before it hardened, his eyes glinting. “I know the Battle Nexus better than I would like to,” their father said carefully. “But Big Mama owns the Yokai Hotel and Auction House on top of just that bloodthirsty place. If she’s expecting us to try and get Blue back, she could be keeping him at any of those three places.”

“But we do know where he’ll be tomorrow,” Raph offered. “Which is why we’re planning for it now and getting whatever rest we can before we go get him.”

“Hmm,” Splinter mused. He nodded back at his son. “You might be right about that, Red. But you have to understand: Big Mama is crafty. She’ll be expecting us.”

“No worries,” Raph said. “We can do this, Pops.”

Mikey straightened up, puffing out his plastron. “Donnie and I took her out with just the two of us last time,” he declared. “So with five of us–April’s coming too– taking her on by herself, there’s no way she can stop us!”

“Last time…? I really need to hear more about all of this,” Splinter said, shaking his head slowly. “But yes, it should be possible to distract her long enough to grab Blue. We don’t need an overwhelming victory here, we just need to make sure we get everyone back home.”

Raph glanced down at his tea. It was quickly cooling, about to be no better than tepid leaf juice– Dad was always more into tea, with Leo being the second frequenter of the drink– so he turned to go put the cup on the counter. “Okay. I’m going to go check on Donnie,” he called over his shoulder.

“Uh, what should I do?” Mikey asked back.

Raph opened up the fridge, squinting at the bright light, and grabbed a juice pack from the back. “You can… tell Dad about how we bumped into Big Mama the first time?” he offered. “That might end up being important.”

He passed by them again, heading up to Donnie’s lab. Before he turned the corner, he glanced back to see the youngest engaged in lively discussion with their father, his gestures wide and face animated. Good. Mikey had been obviously trying to be more stoic lately, and seeing the most expressive of the bunch like that had hurt in its own way.

With that reassurance, Raph headed to the lab, not surprised to hear Donnie muttering even before he entered. “Donnie, do you–“ he paused, staring at the invention waiting in the center of the room. Donnie was working on it, tongue stuck slightly out, letting Raph take in the web logo on the side. “Isn’t that your Bug Slapper?” he asked incredulously.

Donnie glanced over his shoulder, blinking at him. “Yes. It is.” He turned back to stare at it for a moment before screwing the iron plate back into place. “Fuses look immaculate, the fuel source is fine…” Donnie hummed to himself. “I know how we’re going to get inside the Battle Nexus. We’re going to fly in.”

“Fly?” Raph repeated. “Donnie, that’s genius. If we grab Leo, we don’t even have to land.”

Donnie glanced back at the machine, thinking. “My battle shell can carry the weight of two people, and is the sturdiest of the bunch. I could carry April, perhaps, and then the Bug Slapper could get you and Mikey in…” the genius sighed. “Is Dad still coming?”

“I don’t think we could talk him out of it even if we tried, same as April,” Raph said apologetically. “Is that an issue…?”

“No, no, I have a jetpack as well… maybe April could use that instead and I carry Dad?” the purple turtle opened his laptop and started typing. “If I consider the center of mass and how that would affect my tech’s balance, then maybe even the Bug Slapper could hypothetically carry three people instead…”

“If it doesn’t work, then we can try something else,” Raph offered. “Dad says he knows the Battle Nexus somehow, so–“

“No, no, I can do this. Really, my tech will _work_.” Donnie dragged a hand down his face, making a disgruntled scowl at his screen. “I know it will work, I just need to double check all of the weight configurations and do some hacking into the hotel servers– mostly skeleton websites from what I could see but maybe–”

“Uh, Donnie?” Raph tried not to obviously stare at the bruises under his brother’s eyes, or the fact that Donnie visibly kept hiding a yawn every few minutes. “We’re going to be pulling this off tomorrow. I know that you’ve been… busy, but. Shouldn’t you get some rest? I can go work on plans with Dad, and your tech is always so great that I’m sure that it’s fine…”

Donnie turned his head away slightly, and Raph listened to the rasp of his breath. “Sorry, Raph,” he mumbled. “My brain is just. Really, really loud right now, so… I don’t think sleeping would work for me.”

Raph tried to hide the worry on his face, but he knew he failed because Donnie glanced back at him and turned back to his tech just a touch too quickly.

“…can you promise me something, then?” Raph asked quietly.

“…that depends on the request.”

Raph nodded. “When we get Leo back home, I’m sure he’s going to be exhausted and scared. We’ll need someone to stay with him for a bit, so…”

Donnie raised his head again. “You want me to take a nap in the living room with him, don’t you,” he grumbled, an air of amused defeat to his tone.

Raph grinned, feeling his snaggletooth poke his lip with the motion. “Thanks, Donnie. Here,” he added, holding out the juice box.

“I never agreed–“ he started to protest, before he sighed. “But of course,” he conceded, reaching up and accepting the drink. “I think I could pass out for a week after Leon’s back, yeah.”

Raph turned, watching his brother get back to work right after he took a sip from the drink for a long, lingering moment before he took a deep breath and started walking again.

It was time to head back to Dad and Mikey to tell them about the plan, grab a few hours of sleep, and then…

…and then they would finally go get Leo.

* * *

* * *

His ankle had gotten worse overnight.

Leo shifted, too slight of a movement to draw attention to the slight weakness in his otherwise perfectly straight posture. By now he knew from the times Draxum had visited that showing any weak points was just cause for something worse.

It wasn’t Draxum that was currently staring him down at the moment, though, but rather Big Mama. She was seated at her desk in human form, fingers drumming on the table as she stared back at Leo, pensive.

His eyes drifted to the piece of paper situated on the side closest to him. She gestured at the chair with one hand, and Leo carefully moved and took a seat. He felt vulnerable without his swords, but the guard standing by the door hadn’t budged on holding onto them while outside the fighting area.

He was… really tired. He hadn’t really slept– again– and from what he had gleaned about his fight today, that wasn’t good. In fact, that might be really bad.

“You look like you haven’t had a winky-snazzle of sleep in weeks,” Big Mama finally said, leaning forwards and clasping her hands together. “Are our accommodations not up to snuff, greeny-boo?”

Leo forced himself to look up, glancing into her eyes for a moment before he went back to averting his gaze, shoulders creeping up towards his head and making the warm metal rim of the collar brush against his chin.

She chuckled, sliding a pad of paper and a pen towards him, and his gaze locked onto it, considering. He looked back at the solitary piece of paper, noting how dense text covered it top to bottom.

“Well?” Big Mama asked, nodding at it. “Pick it up.”

He’s so used to hearing the slight drop in tone, the slightest hint at an order, that he was reaching for the pen before he could process it enough to do anything different. He stared down at the white, blank page, a spot to jot down a question.

A comment.

A snide remark.

_Anything._

“Is something wrong?”

The pen was bleeding into the paper, a growing blob of black. He slowly lifted it back up, still staring at the paper, brow furrowing slightly in confusion. He couldn’t think of anything to write.

Surely he had something to convey. Surely there was _something_.

But three weeks of silence, of getting used to swallowing down words whole must have done more than he had thought possible because there was just… blank acknowledgement that no matter what he put, he’d be no better off. No more questions answered, no scrap of information given without a trap or punishment lying underneath.

He bit his lip, trying to keep his hand steady but it was no use, the pen shuddering slightly in his tight grip.

Big Mama smiled. “That’s okay, Kappa. I know you’re the quiet type, so I won’t make you say much.” She leaned onto her elbows, still staring Leo down. “I know you have quite the match today– I haven’t seen the arena this woozy faddled in years– so I won’t waste too much of your time. I just need one thing from you.” She reached across the table and tapped the sheet of paper with her pointer finger’s nail. “We never finished that talk, did we?”

He shifted, his shell making sitting in this chair uncomfortable no matter how he situated himself. He slowly shook his head, still staring at that ink blot on the page.

“Mmm. Thought not,” Big Mama said. “But have you considered that if you win this match, you’re choosing to leave with Draxum right afterwards?”

The hand not holding the pen, still in Leo’s lap, moved so he could grab at his knee and squeeze. His nails– dirty, cracked, the few that hadn’t broken longer than he liked to keep them– dug into his knee, but it stopped him from doing anything drastic.

Big Mama pushed onwards. “I could bring your brothers here within the hour if you just do this one. Itsy. Little. Thing,” she stressed. “What are you gaining here exactly, turtly-boo? You can’t tell me that Draxum is more accommodating or patient than _I’ve_ been. Do you even know what’s going to happen after you go with him? Is that what you want to do?”

It wasn’t. He had never wanted this, _stop saying it was a choice, stop it, stop it–_

“You’re no doubt crushing your poor brothers’ hearts. Making them worry when you could have fixed it weeks ago.” Big Mama stood up, her heels clicking as she walked over to pull the paper closer to Leo. “Now, you could fix all of this mess. It only takes one signature, and you’re done.”

In one sweeping motion, she sent the pad of paper sliding away, a soft bang signaling that it had slid right off the table. Leo turned to look, but Big Mama shoved the paper right under his pen. “Sign it,” she ordered, growing in size, her spider form glowering down at him. “Big Mama’s patience is running _out._ ”

Leo swallowed and stared down at the contract. The words seemed to blur before his eyes, and he wondered if there was even a point in reading the text to help him decide. His brothers weren’t looking for him anymore– after three weeks, he imagined even Mikey would have given up on their resident charity case. He _knew_ this, so– so why did the offer to be able to see them again still hurt so much? They’d be better off without him. He was too weak, too _wrong_ , and now he had blood on his hands to make all of these small flaws glaringly hard to ignore.

And yet.

He couldn’t help but want it. He missed them, even if Draxum was right about him. Even if they would be disappointed in him once they found out what had happened.

And not having to deal with Draxum anymore, or the collar–

He pressed the pen down onto the paper.

“Stop,” a familiar voice ordered, and Leo immediately froze even before the collar let out the warning tone, instincts taking over after hours of practice of stopping training right at that word.

Big Mama, turned, eyes widening. “Oh!” she squeaked, voice coming out unusually high, even for her. “Draxum. What are you doing here?”

The sheep yokai finished stepping through the purple portal, chin raised as he stared down at the other two occupants of the room. Leo flinched slightly, trying to keep himself from shaking. The irritation in Draxum’s eyes was too much like their first meeting in Leo’s Nexus cell, and he could feel the unease crawling down his spine and itching around his throat, almost a tangible thing.

“I think you’ve forgotten your place, Big Mama,” Draxum snapped. Right before the portal closed Huginn and Muninn both darted through, hovering near their boss. Leo’s gaze flicked to Huginn, who sheepishly avoided looking at him. “That is _my_ property, and you’re a naïve fool to think that I was going to just let you steal from me.”

“Well this isn’t what it looks like, Draxum, I was just–“

“I don’t have time for your excuses,” Draxum sneered. “You’ve made a bad mistake, but I’ll deal with you later. Green,” he added, not even turning to look at Leo. “Get over here. We’re going.”

Like a marionette on a string, Leo jerkily stumbled to his feet. The collar beeped at him, but he was too numb to react outwardly to it.

“No, wait–“ Big Mama started, her six eyes widening. “You can’t! My stadium’s seats are already scrimditiously full, you can't take him _now_ –“

“I am tired,” Draxum said, eyes narrowing. “Of you presuming you can tell me what and what not to do. You had these turtles caught once before, and yet you thought nothing of their potential, now, did you?” He turned to go, raising a hand to make another portal.

Big Mama drew back, red eyes narrowing. She grit her teeth. “But– but the refunds and– there would be no one to fight my most powerful yokai!”

Draxum paused. “Your _most powerful_ yokai,” he repeated softly. He turned, staring down at Leo, who pressed his weight down on his ankle, ignoring the stabbing pain in exchange for almost no obvious new injuries. “You mean to tell me you’ve also been holding out on me?”

“It wasn’t holding out, it’s just how I run things around here,” Big Mama argued. She tilted her head, glancing from Leo to Draxum. “And it would be a shame for you not to let the turtle learn from it,” she added slyly. “This yokai is in an entirely different league than any of the others. If you really wanted a _weapon–_ “

“Enough.” Draxum looked at Leo, considering it, and then dropped his hand back down to a relaxed position. “You don’t want to lose profit? Fine. He’ll beat your ‘most powerful yokai,’” he instructed, using air quotes. He stepped forwards, drawing himself up so he was fully in Big Mama’s face. “And make your so called _business_ look like the joke that it is. But then we’ll be taking our leave.”

Leo swallowed, threading his fingers together before Draxum rounded towards him. “And you,” he said. “You know what I expect.”

He didn’t issue any actual orders, but the threat was clear enough. If he was displeased, it wouldn’t be so easy as receiving a single shock. Leo bowed his head, hoping he would go now, and it seemed to work because Draxum opened up a portal with a wave of his hand.

“And don’t forget,” he said, stepping into the portal, Huginn and Muninn landing on his shoulders. “I’ll be _watching._ ”

Leo stared down at his feet, his vision blurry, and tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry. Was he forgetting to breathe? Maybe he was forgetting to breathe. He cracked open his mouth, taking in quick sips of air, feeling how taut all of his muscles were, like a rope about to snap.

He could have had this collar off, he realized distantly. He could have at least seen his brothers for a short period of time, maybe more if he kept doing well in the Nexus. He could have had a bed to sleep in, proper treatment for the burns on his throat. He could have at least known what to expect every time he woke up, could have at least chosen something for himself. He could have bargained with that pad of paper for visitation rights, or weekends to go home and stay with his brothers once again.

What… what had he done?

_What had he done by hesitating like that?_

The guard by the door cleared his throat. “Big Mama, the match is ending. Do we want to stick to schedule or…?”

“Oh, be quiet,” she snapped. She skittered forwards, one of her larger arms darting forwards and grabbing Leo by the plastron to yank him up to be even with her face. “Such a maltinktuous waste,” she complained, scowling. “With that little intervention, there’s not much I can do with you now.” Leo weakly grabbed at her fingers, trying to pull them away from his neck. His legs kicked at air, until they bounced off of her forearm and he tried to brace himself against it as he felt what could only be bruises starting to form. She let out an irritated hiss as he kicked her again, and then he was promptly dropped to the ground, landing hard on his tailbone.

“Oh, just take him, then,” she ordered, waving another hand at the guard. “I’d break him now, if only so that if I couldn’t have him then Baron Draxum couldn’t either, but a deal was a deal. I just don’t appreciate _Draxum_ being the one to get the upper hand.”

Leo silently gasped as the guard grabbed his sore arm, twisting it between his back as he was dragged to his feet again. He let himself be manhandled, too used to it to care too much, all the while glancing back at Big Mama as he was pushed back towards the elevator and through there, to the Battle Nexus.

She met his gaze this time, but pointedly turned away.

* * *

Big Mama was right; where there had been little gaps in the audience, little breaths of negative space, there was now only spectators, all crowding into the stadium as best as they could. The chattering noise bounced off of the steep arena walls, Leo adjusting his grip on his two swords as he entered the space.

He was so tired that he couldn’t be anxious; he was so anxious that he couldn’t be tired. It was a loop of being aware that being tired should make him warier of what’s going on to stay on top of it all, but pushing himself to be scared felt even more draining.

 _This is your fault_ , his mind whispered. _If you had been better at all of this it wouldn’t have come to this._

“Welcome back everyone for the big finale of our Kappa Kid championship!” the announcer crowed. The crowd went wild, yelling, screaming, Leo’s head pounding. “You saw our challenger go from a narrow victory against the VenoLion to become one of the combatants with the highest kill rates in the Battle Nexus history! Now, ladies, gentlemen, the rest of yokai kind, please put your hands or flippers or whatever else you’ve got together for the Kappa Kid vs. Kraken-Tom finale!”

The ground shuddered again, a familiar starting symbol, and Leo jumped backwards, swords at the ready. His ankle protested but he ignored it, gaze focused on the green light surrounding the trapdoor as the kraken was raised into the stadium. It screamed, red eyes looking around and teal tentacles flailing, not even pausing to consider the situation before it lashed a limb out at Leo, the turtle diving and rolling to avoid the hit.

He smoothly rolled back up to his feet, crouching lower to keep his balance. Okay, so eight limbs, huge, ugly. He took a deep breath, forcing all other thoughts out of his head. He was good at fighting, he told himself. It’s what he did. It’s what he was made to do so– so he was good at it.

He lifted his head again, dashing forwards to try and make a quick hit, when, under the roar of the crowd, something caught his attention. His usual focus faltered and he almost missed the tentacle shooting for his head, falling backwards and rolling out from under it just in time.

Leo glanced back at the opponent, alarmed, when his attention got pulled away again.

That was a voice.

Or two.

Or more.

He’s now on the defense, backing up and ducking under attacks, but his eyes were scanning the crowd now, looking, hoping, refusing to believe what he thought he was hearing. Because he hadn’t heard that word in weeks. He didn’t see anything in the crowd though, so maybe he was missing something, or just straight up hearing things that weren’t there or–

**_“LEO!”_ **

He looked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be real: everyone's been waiting for that next chapter, huh. lol.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Talk to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hurry up, Leo!” Raph yelled again. “We’re coming in fast!”
> 
> Leo twirled back around to look at them and then started running, feet striking against the ground in an alternating sensation of hot pain and momentum, tucking both katanas under one arm so he could reach back to take his brother’s hand. His fingers spread wide, until his muscles ached in the sensation, and he was five… four… three steps away–

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say except here we go.  
> Also APPARENTLY (kind of obviously) there is a tag for electrocution and this never crossed my mind to add. I do not know how I missed such an obvious one.  
>   
> Fanart:  
> As usual, if I missed you let me know! Not my intention at all haha, was working on something while prepping the chapter that kept me very busy... and you're about to see why. The art this fanfic has been getting has been INCREDIBLE and everyone should check it all out!  
> [cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/622498877886660608/id-a-drawing-of-leo-from-rottmnt-he-has-a-wide)  
> [cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/622562138938130432/id-a-2-panel-mini-comic-in-the-first-panel)  
> [cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/622639874418376704/id-a-two-panel-mini-comic-in-the-upper-left)  
> [cosmicdelta](https://cosmicdelta.tumblr.com/post/623192658017419265/id-a-drawing-in-the-middle-there-is-leo-from)  
> [teetlesandnimjas](https://teetlesandnimjas.tumblr.com/post/622553023784402944/i-said-id-do-it-and-another-version-with-darker)  
> [starlight-lotus](https://starlight-lotus.tumblr.com/post/622501158989250560/like-a-marionette-on-a-string)  
> [starlight-lotus](https://starlight-lotus.tumblr.com/post/623389434385154048/his-name)  
> [babybi-bibi](https://babybi-bibi.tumblr.com/post/622675081851764736/like-father-like-son-chapter-1-eternalglitch)  
> [justwannabeanonymous](https://justwannabeanonymous.tumblr.com/post/622691812761583616/k-i-l-l-e-r-hi-yes-everyone-go-read-eternalglitch)  
> [simplyfornardo](https://simplyfornardo.tumblr.com/post/623261046631710720/im-outside-the-door-invite-me-in)  
> [simplyfornardo](https://simplyfornardo.tumblr.com/post/623631975834664960/eternalglitch-sad-boy-hours)  
> [simplyfornardo](https://simplyfornardo.tumblr.com/post/623666683774681088/living-my-best-life-in-the-angst-server)  
> [simplyfornardo](https://simplyfornardo.tumblr.com/post/623760361103998976/i-will-fear-the-night-again)  
> [Luescris](https://luescris.tumblr.com/post/623685500255010816/hello-rise-fandom-its-been-a-while-so-i-uh)  
> [Luescris](https://luescris.tumblr.com/post/624293363105005568/oh-look-another-art-piece-for-eternalglitch-s)  
> [PricklyDapper](https://pricklydapper.tumblr.com/post/624046379983077376/sohave-yall-read-lfls-yet)  
> [PricklyDapper](https://pricklydapper.tumblr.com/post/624316184464179200/but-wait-theres-more-lfls-angst-featuring)  
> [spacezii.art](https://www.instagram.com/p/CCxJNmyp08t/?igshid=1cqagwf030n6t)  
> [phoenix4020](https://www.instagram.com/p/CC38k_-jaz3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)  
> [legends_art_forever](https://www.instagram.com/p/CC5BWsGpnZU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link)  
> [cleverlittlegoddess](https://www.instagram.com/p/CC-FE_LFRlx/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)  
> Nebulabun is working on an after!LFLS comic with [Page 1,](https://nebulabun.tumblr.com/post/622502671386017792/back-to-normal-part-1-of-4-original-idea-from) [Page 2,](https://nebulabun.tumblr.com/post/623575976312438784/back-to-normal-part-2-a-fancomic-based-off-of) [Page 3](https://nebulabun.tumblr.com/post/624191037211017216/back-to-normal-part-3-a-fancomic-based-off-of) and one more part on the way!  
> And an animatic by [soldrawss](https://soldrawss.tumblr.com/post/624241811776503808/i-finally-finished-this-monster-of-an-rottmnt) that did, in fact, kill me a little bit. It's so good like !!!
> 
> And, last but not least by any consideration, Smash Brother's Brawl announcer voice, GUEST ARTIST[ **VOID-INKED-PEN**](https://void-inked-pen.tumblr.com/) ENTERS THE FIGHT! After you finish reading the chapter and take a moment to process it, the end notes have a very... very... fun surprise for you guys. (Seriously though: heavy spoilers! Finish reading first!!)

He didn’t understand.

He was looking, staring, puzzling it out, and he–

He didn’t _understand_.

How were they… why were they…?

They shouldn’t be here. They had given up on him, so he hadn’t expected them to… to be…

Leo took a stumbling step back as his gaze locked onto the three dots dropping down into the stadium. It was a page out of a comic book, or a dreamt story snatched in the scarce hours of sleep that he seemed to get these days. It was a fairy tale of dust and ashes that scattered in the wind when Leo tried to hold it, but– but–

His mouth opened slightly, a shaky inhale, as, without thinking, one of his hands reached, stretching out and up. He was holding onto his swords only by instinct, the tip pointing right at his brothers, because his mind was abruptly a million miles away.

“Leo!” he heard again, a word that made his heart flutter, like a butterfly was flapping its wings against the inside of his plastron. Because he recognized that voice, it was Raph’s– it was his brother’s. _Of course_ he had never actually forgotten that. He tried to look for that distinct red bandana, hoping to see the person speaking, but everything was blurry and he belatedly realized tears were filling his eyes, spilling out of their corners and dampening his mask.

He quickly swiped at his face, his bandages absorbing the water, before jerking his head back up to track his brother’s movements as they swooped overhead. There was Raph and Mikey on the Bug Slapper, Raph in front and Mikey sitting on the back. Donnie had Splinter on the back of his usual hover shell, and even April was there, although she was rocketing in tight spirals around the others with Donnie’s jetpack, baseball bat in hand.

The crowd hushed for a moment, the announcer shouting something and Big Mama’s voice echoing back, but Leo didn’t care about any of that. For a moment, for just that one, wondrous moment, everything else washed away. His brothers were here, they had actually come for him, they were going to take him _home._ They hadn’t given up on him like Draxum had said. The constant throbbing of his neck and smaller little nicks and wounds seemed to fade into the background, and Leo felt light headed with dizzy relief.

His face muscles ached slightly, and it took him a moment to realize his mouth had stretched into a shaky grin, his vision going hazy as another sheen of tears filled his eyes. He took a hesitant step forward, headless of the kraken, and then another one, trying to get closer to where his brothers were seemingly aiming to land.

It was a mistake; he wasn’t concentrating on the match anymore, and that was something that Kraken-Tom was not about to let go. The kraken let out an ugly screech, all of its tentacles arching towards the sky, before the front two shot forwards, straight at Leo. The turtle looked down at the last moment to see the giant limbs coming right at him, but he couldn’t react before one hit his body with a sickening _thwack._

He went hurtling, his shell bouncing hard against the arena floor before he was once again embedded into the ring’s walls, the rock cracking and giving way under the sheer force that he hit the surface with. Unlike the last two times this had happened, the force had been enough to actually make him well and truly stuck in the wall. He silently gasped in pain, momentarily stunned, when he heard an alarmed shout. He lifted his head just in time to see Donnie and his father dart around the kraken’s head, Donnie swinging his bo staff at it with the robotic fist fully extended. It landed a hit on one of the Kraken’s eyes and then Donnie took off again, whirling around the Kraken’s head in a sharp arc.

Leo wriggled, trying to pull one of his arms out of their entombment in the wall. He hissed air out between his teeth, already feeling the new assortment of scrapes, bruises, and areas where rubble had dug into his skin. It took some straining but he managed to wrench his right arm out, amazed that he still had his katanas. He started to work on the other arm when he saw April shoot forwards in a tight corkscrew, right into the kraken’s face, and drove the bat she carried down hard onto its head.

Kraken-Tom screamed, limbs flailing, as it winced and jerked backwards. Leo scrabbled at the wall faster, ripping the other arm out, and started to fall forwards as the rest of his body succumbed to gravity.

He rolled when he hit the ground and landed in a crouch, shoving the aches and pains to the back of his mind. It was a simple enough matter, so long as nothing was so badly injured that it affected his fighting form. Which, unfortunately, might be true; his ankle protested as he got back up to his feet, the pain now hot and searing and demanding to be noticed.

He didn’t have time for that. His brothers were _here_ , they were right here, and Leo hadn’t signed anything, hadn’t thrown this chance away after all. He was going to go home today, and that was _it_. No more matches, no more Big Mama, no more Draxum. No more shocks.

“Over here!” Mikey– _that was Mikey’s voice!–_ called as the Bug Slapper started to make a dive for the arena, Mikey leaning out over the side, one hand gripping onto Raph’s shell so he wouldn’t fall off. Leo glanced back at the kraken; April, Donnie, and Splinter were still flying in loops around it, one of the two groups occasionally darting forwards to attack.

“Hurry up, Leo!” Raph yelled again. “We’re coming in fast!”

Leo twirled back around to look at them and then started running, feet striking against the ground in an alternating sensation of hot pain and momentum, tucking both katanas under one arm so he could reach back to take his brother’s hand. His fingers spread wide, until his muscles ached in the sensation, and he was five… four… _three steps away–_

His collar let out a shrill tone, heating up slightly, and he skidded to a stop, Mikey’s outstretched hand grabbing at nothing but air. Leo had jerked out of the way, taking stumbling, clumsy steps back as his hand reached up to press against the warm collar. As if in slow motion he saw his brother’s wide eyes, tears in the corners of them, his mouth opening slightly, right before the Bug Slapper shot back up into the air.

Did this count as trying to escape? It must, because why else would–

The other rules.

 _Draxum glanced at him, a small, victorious smile on his lips. “And, other than attacking, absolutely no contact with any other_ turtles _.”_

No. No, no, no that couldn’t be it. That couldn’t be it, because then how on earth would he even get close enough to– to–

Raph yanked the Bug Slapper around, coming in for a second dive. “Grab on!” his brother yelled again, but Leo dodged, his mind a tangled mess of denials. He couldn’t risk it. If they were touching him when it went off, then they would also get hurt. Especially in the air. But he was so close– they were so close– he couldn’t stay here, but he couldn’t go so what… so _what_ …

His brothers turned the machine around to make a third attempt, but then suddenly there was a wet splat and a yelp as they were sent shooting across the stadium, right in between Donnie, Splinter, and April. Donnie reacted almost instantly, jerking back before he and Splinter blasted after the Bug Slapper as it was sent crashing somewhere up near the top of the audience seating.

Leo spun around, looking up to the VIP seating as Big Mama patted her lips with a handkerchief, the spider yokai peering down at the stadium with her eyes narrowed. One of the bellhops around her started to applaud, but she snapped at them and pointed towards where Raph and Mikey had been thrown and Donnie and Splinter had gone after in pursuit.

Leo’s head whipped back around, his gaze flicking from where Raph and Mikey had vanished back to where April had come to hover as she reassessed the situation. She turned towards him, wobbling slightly in the air as the jetpack fought against her. She was… not technically a turtle. April _wasn’t a turtle_. His mind started to churn again, an inkling of a thought coming into play. His brothers might not be able to help him, but April or Dad…

The kraken let out another scream, swatting at April, and Leo lurched forwards slightly, relieved when April careened out of the way just in time, turning back to face the yokai. She looked over her shoulder at him and flashed him a thumb’s up, saying something he couldn’t make out over the kraken’s screams, right before she resumed distracting the kraken alone.

If she was buying him time for his brothers to get back here, then that plan was doomed to fail. Thanks to the collar, he couldn’t escape. He couldn’t be near his brothers.

He looked back up at where April was flying and then his gaze slid down to where the kraken was, still enraged as it attacked anything that moved.

So… so what _else_ could he try?

* * *

* * *

Donnie squinted against the wind resistance, wishing he had yanked down his goggles before he had made the dive. He felt his father shift to brace himself against his battle shell, clinging onto the handles as he tried not to get flung off, just as Donnie’s thrusters hummed and they abruptly slammed to a halt, hovering in place only for long enough that Splinter hopped off and Donnie’s shell folded back up into itself.

Donnie landed on his feet and stumbled, shaking his head slightly, before he straightened back up and hurried towards the pile of rubble in the middle of the seating.

“Red! Orange!” his dad called out, sounding oddly breathless for someone that had so far done nothing but catch a ride. He kept looking around, ears flattened, all while keeping pace with Donnie.

There was a skid path leading to the rubble until Raph and Mikey had apparently hit a column of the Battle Nexus and it had fallen down on top of them. With the velocity they had been going and the height from which they had plummeted… “Guys!” Donnie yelled, rushing towards the rubble. He spotted his older brother’s foot poking out from a chunk of stone. “Hold on– my tech bo can get you out,” he tried to reassure them, not sure if they could hear him, not sure if they were conscious, twirling his bo staff around while hitting a button so that it transformed into chainsaw mode.

The pile of rubble shuddered and he paused, drawing back as Raph shoved the rubble off of him. He had been crouched over Mikey, Donnie realized, shielding the younger turtle from the crash. Mikey popped out of his shell, the two shakily getting back up to their feet.

“Boys!” Splinter exclaimed, stepping forwards as he glanced over his sons.

“Are– are you two okay?” Donnie asked.

“I’m fine. Mikey?” Raph asked tersely.

The box shell turtle nodded, his head turned towards the arena. “I’m okay. What about Leo?”

Donnie followed Mikey’s gaze. He could still make out the small figure of their no longer missing brother, crouched at the edge of the arena and watching April’s desperate attempts to hold the giant yokai at bay. “Still there– I didn’t have time to think, I was just… that was a nasty hit,” he said. “What happened?”

Raph scowled. “It was Big Mama,” he started, gesturing at the Bug Slapper. “She totally gooped us!”

Donnie’s gaze dropped down to where the Bug Slapper– or what was left of it– lay, as it hadn’t survived the crash in any way, shape, or form. He dropped down to his knees, gently pulling the front half of it into his lap, and shuddering when it fell apart with a clatter. He checked the four engines, hoping for something to make a quick salvage of, but Big Mama’s webs had completely gunked them up, ruining them.

Without the Bug Slapper, only three or four of them could possibly fly back out, and there were six of them.

Raph didn’t say anything, but Donnie knew that their leader was aware of what this meant even without Donnie explicitly saying something. Mikey let out a small sound in the back of his throat, alarmed as he watched the kraken scream and flail, the crash from one of its tentacles sending even more Battle Nexus goers scattering. Some of them were already gone after Raph and Mikey’s crash forced them to get out of the way, but clearly a few had stuck around to watch. Still, the yokai around them didn’t seem to be interested in getting involved but for the employees that Donnie could see in the corner of his eye stepping in front of all of the exits.

“Shit,” Donnie breathed, and Raph, for once, didn’t even comment on the swear. “Raph, this whole thing was a surprise attack,” Donnie started, his voice rising in panic. “We can’t– we’ll get crushed if we fight all of them head on.”

Raph let out a shaky breath, pulling his tonfas out and rolling his neck as he started for the stairs back down towards the fight. “I’ll help April take Captain Ugly,” he offered grimly, nodding at the kraken yokai. “She’s going to need help, that thing is huge.”

Their father reached down to where Donnie was still sitting and touched one of the rotors of the broken tech, drawing back as the web caught on his claws. “I’ll take Big Mama,” Splinter decided, voice flat. His eyes narrowed. “We have… unresolved business.”

Raph and their father exchanged a glance before they both accepted it, the red turtle turning back to look at Mikey. “Mikey, can you run interference with any goons and act as a go-between for assists for whoever needs it? It’s a big job, but–”

“But Leo–” Mikey started. He paused and shook his head before drawing himself up to his full height. “You can count on me. Those goons won’t know what hit them!”

Donnie was still running calculations, formulas, numbers through his head. With at least thirty henchmen, Big Mama, and a giant kraken, Donnie didn’t think they stood a chance. “Raph, are you listening to me–“

“I am!” Raph snapped. “I am, I just– Donnie, we don’t have time, or… Leo would maybe think of another way to do this, but you have me! And I charge in and smash things! So we’re going to do our best and– and that’s where you come in.”

 _“…me?”_ Donnie couldn’t help how skeptical he sounded. “Raph, I normally would be up to it but–“ But he could feel the ache just behind his eyes, the pulse of his heart squeezing it tighter and tighter ever so slightly, and the way his hands were slightly less steady than they should be. He wasn’t exactly in the best shape at the moment.

“Donnie, be real with me. Can April get him out with that Jetpack?” Raph asked, his voice low, so just Donnie could hear.

He hesitated. “Maybe,” he muttered. “But I don’t have a good tether for him, April isn’t that used to the jetpack and struggles to make controlled movements, not to mention she is engaged in combat as we speak… the probability is low. We’d have to go to her first, too, adding to time…”

Raph rested a heavy hand on his shoulder. “So you have the best chance of getting out of here with a passenger. Grab Leo and then we’ll all retreat, even if we have to punch our way through every last yokai in this arena.”

This was a bad idea. “Raph–“

Their father shoved his way in between them, nodding towards the area. “Red one is right, Purple. We do not have time to think about this. Look,” he added gravely. Donnie turned, watching as Big Mama swiftly scuttled around the audience seating, heading straight towards them. “You need to hurry,” Splinter said. “Get Blue, Purple. We’ll take care of the rest.”

Donnie looked around, meeting Mikey’s hopeful glance and Raph’s trusting nod. He swallowed and then turned, running down the stairs before kicking off, his battle shell activating with a hum as it caught his weight and he flew back to the arena.

As he approached, the kraken roared again, Donnie yelping as he swerved to avoid a tentacle lashing right past him, close enough that he could feel the wind generated from the movement.

“Donnie!” April called, shooting by him. “Are the others okay?!”

“Yes!” he answered, looking around. Leo was on the move, slinking around the edge of the arena and _towards_ the kraken. His brother was holding two swords, and Donnie realized he was trying to sneak up on the kraken. That stubborn, brave _dum-dum–_

Was he not aware that they were here to get him out as fast as possible?

He swooped downwards, his feet hitting the ground already in a run as his shell folded back up and he headed straight towards Leo. This would be simple; grab Leo, take off again, come back to help the others once Leo was outside. A simple formula, never mind the way Donnie tilted slightly too forwards with each step or how, despite adrenaline roaring through his veins, his eyelids felt dangerously heavy.

“Nardo!” he called, finally closing in on his slightly younger brother. Leo, who had been facing away from him, towards the kraken, flinched, turning his head to look.

There was a loud yell, Donnie yanking one forearm up to shield his face as Raph’s powered up form crashed into the kraken, shoving it against the wall. “Power Smash Jitsu!” Raph yelled, his enlarged form grappling against the writhing yokai’s body, the tentacles whipping against Raph’s larger red magical body. He grunted, straining, but it was doing the trick; April whizzed around his head, shouting encouragement. The threat was, for the moment, neutralized.

“Okay, Leo, that’s our cue. I’ll give you a lift,” Donnie said, hurrying forwards.

His brother finished turning to fully face him, and the first thing Donnie noticed was just how banged up he was. He was covered in dust and scratches, his belt, sash, and gloves gone, dirty bandages instead covering his palms up to his mid-forearms. He had a piece of metal around his neck, probably a piece of defense equipment he had been given. There was a slight rip in his mask around one eye, and even though his plastron and shell made it harder to tell these things, there was no doubt in Donnie’s mind that Leo was thinner, his muscles more defined not from merely bulking up but rather from any of the natural baby fat being mostly _gone._ But, more so than any of that– Donnie had included Leo being injured in his parameters of expectations upon finding him today– what really confused him was the flash of pure fear in Leo’s eyes as Donnie drew closer.

“Leo?” Donnie drew to a halt, confused, as Leo took a faltering step away from him. The red-eared slider wouldn’t meet his gaze, now continuously backing up with each step Donnie took forwards. “Leo, it’s okay, we’re going to get you out of here. Talk to me, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

He scanned his brother, looking for a specific injury that could be causing this, but it wasn’t immediately apparent which one it was: Leo was covered in a patchwork of both half-healed and new scrapes and bruises, and Donnie couldn’t decide which to focus on first. The bandages he was wearing were also not clean, so he needed to get those off to make sure no injuries underneath were infected–

One of his brother’s hands rose, falteringly brushing against the blue adornment on his neck, drawing Donnie’s gaze to it. 

Wait.

That- that _wasn’t armor._

There was a prickling feeling on the back of his neck, a warning, a promise that if Donnie kept thinking about the implications here then he would regret it. Donnie opened his suddenly dry mouth.

“Leo…?” he whispered. “That– that looks like my tech. _Why does that look like my tech?_ ”

He reached out, intending to get a better look at it, when he heard the typical tone of one of his inventions alerting him of something. He paused, cocking his head as he wondered if his headset had gotten an alert, when Leo suddenly _bolted_ , trying to make it past Donnie.

He spun around, perplexed as Leo tried to run away from… from _him._ “Hey!” he yelled, chasing after his brother. His brother seemed to be slowed from some kind of leg injury, something Donnie had never expected to be glad of. The kraken behind them screamed, and Donnie tried not to think about what would happen if Raph got knocked to the side with him and Leo right here. “You can’t be serious– stop,” he demanded, voice cracking. “Leo, stop!”

His brother abruptly froze, and Donnie, not expecting that to have actually worked, barreled right into him, the two going tumbling as Donnie lost all sense of balance. He floundered against Leo, trying to get a grasp on him so he could take off, but a sword hilt suddenly rammed into his stomach.

“ _Wheeze_ , ow! What are you– Nardo!” Donnie yelled as Leo suddenly flung him off, sending Donnie rolling across the ground. Donnie staggered to his feet, realizing his tech bo had also gone rolling a few feet away. Leo was running away again, and Donnie felt a frustrated groan rising up in his throat.

“Donnie! What’s going on?” April shouted, swooping over him and looping in a big circle as she tried to stay near him.

“Gah! He just– I don’t– I got it, I got him!” Donnie yelled back, picking himself up and scooping his tech bo up, waving April off. There was a familiar yelp from across the stadium, right before the sound of an explosion and then the ominous rumble of a wall crumbling.

“Oh no, Mikey!” April said, shooting up to get a better view. “Dee, I’m gonna go help him!” she called, already rushing to go lend her aid.

Donnie nodded, even if she didn’t see. He was already gasping for breath, his physical state not up for this whole situation. For once, Raph was right; he _really_ should have slept.

With his brother’s limp it took but a moment to catch up to him again, even with exhaustion acting like a fifty pound chain and ball. Once he was close enough, he burst forwards, lowering his center of gravity and swiping at the back of Leo’s knees with his tech bo. Leo jumped straight over it, skidding around to face him. His brother still didn't say anything, and Donnie felt his headache progressively getting worse.

“Seriously, Leo, why are you running away from me? I’m trying to get you out of here!” This was making no logical sense. Did Leo have something like Raph, and had gone savage after three weeks? That felt like the wrong hypothesis, but Donnie really, really didn’t have the time to consider this. He’d have to knock Leo over so he could get a good grip on him and just hope that he didn’t squirm so hard that Donnie dropped him mid-flight.

His gaze dropped slightly lower, lingering on the blue piece of metal. With a single button in the center of it and a sleek, curved design, there really was no mistaking it; it was Donnie’s gift to Leo, even if it was significantly more banged up now.

_Donnie tapped his chin, looking at his blueprints on the screen. A protective suit, to make sure that even when Donnie wasn’t there to catch him, he could help protect his youngest bro. A helmet, to be the voice of reason and help Raph be the leader that Donnie knew he wanted to be. As for Leo… well. Sarcastic jokes and snide remarks aside, his brother was already pretty impressive in battle. He just needed to master his mystic powers, but Donnie… Donnie didn’t know much about that kind of stuff. So what would be a great gift for him…? Something to improve his concentration so he could accomplish that, maybe?_

_Yeah, that sounded perfect._

_He was sure he would love it._

How had Big Mama gotten her hands on it? And _why?_ Had Leo’s jokes gotten on her nerves that much? It was a tighter fit now, he noticed, the metal pressed flush against Leo’s neck. It was probably harder to breath, he realized, not to mention that any shocks would have better conductivity. There was a bad taste in his mouth at the thought of this, a sense of displeased disgust that something he had carefully made was put to use in any manner that was against his brothers.

…if Leo had been here, alone with only a reminder of Donnie in this environment… was Leo mad at him specifically? Was that it?

“Wait, I can– let me get that off,” he said, but Leo shook his head, the two circling each other. No matter how Donnie tried to approach, Leo kept a few paces away, leading him around and around. Donnie didn’t feel good, he was already dizzy and– and now that with each moment a worse feeling grew in the pit of his stomach, he felt his patience snap. “Come _on_ , let me help you!”

He grabbed at his brother, missing him as Leo darted to the side, instead seizing the two long tails of his mask and digging his heels in as he jerked his brother to a stop.

“Leo!” he snapped, scared, confused.

His brother shifted, turned his head slightly to look back at him, and then whirled around fully, one arm arcing upwards as the katana sliced his mask tails short and sent Donnie flailing to keep his balance.

Leo, free from Donnie’s grasp, was looking up, searching the air for something. He turned towards the area where Mikey and April’s voices could be heard, a momentary distraction Donnie was not going to ignore. He grit his teeth and rushed forwards, keeping his balance on the balls of his feet. Leo glanced back at him, Donnie watching himself in his brother’s eyes’ reflection as he twirled his bo staff. Leo’s arms jerked up, his swords flashing, a whistling sound as one of them swung right at Donnie’s neck. Donnie used gravity to let his bo staff spin into a blocking position, a clanging sound echoing as the sword’s metal bounced off of titanium.

Donnie used his hips to swing the staff to the other side of his body, his brother’s other sword also being stopped right before it bit into flesh.

“What– are you trying to kill me?” Donnie gasped out, letting his staff come to a halt.

Leo shivered, his panting creating a rasping sound. His eyes looked unfocused, and Donnie watched his hands tremble slightly. “Say something! _Anything!_ “

His brother started to back away again, trying to _restart_ this game of tag that Donnie did not have time for, and the purple-clad turtle made a snap decision as he dove forwards, grabbing Leo’s arm and yanking him towards him. He was _not_ going to get away this time.

Leo squirmed, shoving, kicking at Donnie–

“ _JUST STOP FIGHTING ME, TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG–“_

Leo froze, staring at Donnie, tears starting to bubble up in his eyes–

The world lit up in an agonizing blaze of white.

Donnie’s whole body went rigid from _pain._ It radiated down from his left hand, where he had grabbed Leo, his muscles involuntarily clenching and holding him in place as his vision went out. That was bad– he was creating a current, but his muscles were spasming _he couldn’t let go–_ he tried to gasp but even his lungs felt paralyzed, and then suddenly he was crumpling, crashing onto the ground with the taste of iron in his mouth. He twitched, his muscles refusing to cooperate, unable to do anything but wheeze as he tried to grasp what had just happened.

His headphones let out a loud popping sound, and Donnie could barely think lucidly enough to wonder if that burning smell was his headgear, his wrist tech, his battle shell, or his own skin. He hoped it was one of the first two.

He groaned, eyes fluttering open- _when had he shut them?_ \- as he slowly took stock of his surroundings. Leo was kneeling next to him, panting, and refusing to look over at him. How… how come he wasn’t on the ground like Donnie was…? It should have been even worse for Leo, the source of the electricity came from him, so how… how was Leo able to just _take_ that?

Now that both of them were still, he could also now see a faint electrical burn creeping out from under the piece of tech, barely noticeable because of how tightly it was fitted to his brother’s skin.

The tech. Right. _His_ tech. His gift. The one he had given Leo, the one he had promised was _personal_ and _thoughtful_ and he had been so excited to show his brothers. Someone had taken his gift and _altered_ it.

His hand hurt. It hurt so _badly,_ what amperage had that been because he hadn’t… he _never_ would have…

Donnie’s eyes started to slide shut again, but he forced himself to stay awake. His thoughts were sluggish, but he tried to at least get up onto his knees. He hazarded a glance at his left arm– the wrist tech looked fried– and almost looked at his hand before he turned his hand back over, refusing to see the damage. There were more important things to deal with right now.

There was another crash, and then suddenly something came shooting past Donnie, the turtle flinching as wind rushed past him. There was a bang, and he managed to glance back just in time to see Mikey come out of his shell, staggering slightly as he leaned against the now-dented wall. The youngest turtle met Donnie’s eyes, blinking, and tried to stop leaning on the wall for support, wobbling as he regained his balance. “Leo! Donnie!” his brother cried out, scared. “You need to go– right _now_ , get Leo out of here, Dee– April can’t hold him off–“

Mikey suddenly went quiet, eyes wide, before they narrowed in determination and he pulled out his kusari-fundo, whirling it until it caught on fire with a crackling laugh. He rushed forwards, in between Leo and Donnie, jumping into the air to throw his weapon right at the figure steadily walking towards them. Donnie's gaze followed his brother, his eyes widening in horror.

A gauntleted arm was raised in a front block, the kusari-fundo wrapping around it before the other hand grabbed the string. Mikey yelped, getting yanked forwards and slammed into another wall, his weapon falling out of his hands as he gasped in pain.

Donnie felt a chill run through him, his calculations and their odds shattered in a millisecond. This variable had never been accounted for, never even _been considered–_

_“Oh, look!” Leo scoffed, leveling an ‘I told you so’ glare at his brothers. “They know each other!”_

Draxum’s eyes narrowed, pulling the entangled weapon off of his forearm with a swipe. Mikey’s weapon clattered to the ground beside him. The villain turned, his orange eyes almost seeming to glow, and Donnie felt terror start to fill him. Where had his tech bo gone, he must have dropped it– his battle shell was not responding– he couldn’t even _stand up–_

He had to get in front of Leo. If Draxum attacked them now, when they had just _found_ him–

Draxum chuckled at his attempts to put himself in front of Leo, purple vines breaking up out of the ground and shooting up right behind him. “Poor turtles,” he sneered. “Thinking your _brotherly loyalty_ means anything here.” He reached out, towards Donnie’s head.

“Don’t touch him!” April yelled, front flipping in mid-air and smashing her bat down on Draxum. One of his magical roots shot out, taking the hit instead and being snapped in half, but it was all the time that Draxum needed to step back and make a sweeping motion with his arm. More roots shot forwards, small, precise, spearing either side of the jetpack’s wings and leaving April dangling fifteen feet off of the ground.

She gasped, kicking out, but was unable to do anything from her viewpoint. “No! Donnie! Leo!” she shouted, her voice cracking.

Draxum snorted, a cold smile growing on his face, when something in the distance caught his attention instead. There was a crash, Raph yelling something indecipherable. Draxum glanced again at Donnie, who was on his knees, shaking, unable to stand. His eyes shifted again to where Leo knelt, and his eyes narrowed. “You’re not worth my time,” he told Donnie dismissively, his gaze still searing over Donnie’s head, right at his brother. “I have places to be where my time is better used. Green, get up.”

There was a rustling sound from behind him and Donnie stiffened, slowly turning to check behind him. Leo had gotten to his feet, his eyes wide as his pupils darted around frantically, looking at nothing. He squeezed his eyes shut, but Donnie didn’t understand what was happening. For once, the genius was at a loss.

“Leo…?”

Draxum strode past him, towards an open space in the arena, where a purple portal opened up. He glanced over his shoulder. “Come,” he ordered.

Donnie tried to grab onto Leo again; he didn’t know what had triggered the shock earlier, not when he hadn’t witnessed Leo tell any bad jokes or puns, but he didn’t care _he wasn’t going to let go of him…!_

But it was no use, he couldn’t walk it off like Leo was doing, his brother stepping up beside Draxum, his features bathed in the purple light.

“Stop him!” Raph yelled, Donnie’s head whipping around to watch their older brother running towards them, his eyes wide, but no matter how hard Donnie struggled to push himself up, he slid back into the dirt with a pained groan.

Raph was still too far away, and Donnie spotted Mikey also getting back to his feet. April let out a cry, trying to unclip herself from the jetpack, but the drop was just too high for her to risk it without a broken bone or two.

Only Donnie was close enough, and he was useless.

“No,” Donnie whispered, his heart hammering. “Leon! You can’t! _Stop! **Please**!_” 

His brother glanced back at him, his beak pressed so tightly shut that it looked painful. He was openly quivering, meeting Donnie’s eyes one more time before his gaze slid off of him and to the side.

Draxum smirked. “After you,” the sheep yokai smoothly said. Leo bowed his head, shaking it slightly.

Donnie thought he saw liquid drip off of his chin.

“ _Now,_ ” Draxum said, this time colder. Donnie’s brother’s shoulders tensed, but the red-eared slider had turned to face the portal, glanced over his shoulder once more, and then vanished into nothingness.

“Leo!” Mikey screamed from behind Donnie.

“ _Stop!“_ Raph also shouted as Draxum chuckled and followed after Leo, the portal snapping shut behind him just as Mikey and Raph finally shot past Donnie, both diving at the space where the portal had been. The youngest skidded through the now empty space, tumbling head over heels and ending up covered in dirt. Raph nearly hit him, skidding to a stop and barely balancing enough that he didn’t fall over.

There was silence; Donnie could hear his blood rushing through his body and his heartbeat in his tympana. There was a panicked shout from his father, another crash, but it sounded far away, distant. He slowly brought his left hand to his chest, a quick glance down revealing a nasty inflamed electrical burn all over his palm and fingers, burned straight through his glove.

In his other hand he still clutched the two severed mask tails, the usual blue now stained the muddy color of dried blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, in a special collaboration to bring you this at the same time the chapter came out, enjoy Donnie and Leo's face off: now in [ animatic form!](https://youtu.be/_WU7upysPR8) Pen did this in three days, the TALENT. It's about 270 drawings, if you were wondering!
> 
> Comments on the chapter are, as usual, super appreciated~
> 
> Next up: the start of a new arc.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ba-dump.
> 
> “Donnie?”
> 
> Ba-dump.
> 
> “Donnie, can you get up?”
> 
> Ba-dump.
> 
> “Donnie, please, you’re scaring me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we begin Arc III: the Weapon.  
> The arc's title is based on the Teen Titan's episodes, the Apprentice, as a fun piece of trivia.
> 
> Also, one thing I want to address now is fanfiction of Like Father Like Son. If you write something and want to post it, ask me first. This fanfic deals with serious topics that I have sensitivity beta readers that know what they're talking about for a reason, and I don't want anything that makes me feel uncomfortable attached to my work. I would never try and stifle creativity and I love inspiring more works in the fandom, but I had an unpleasant run-in with this that gave me hard writer's block for two weeks. Don't do that, I don't have to post the rest of LFLS if I get frustrated about it.
> 
> so tldr: ask me before posting fanfic of my fanfic please lol. 
> 
> All right, good? Yes? Fabulous, let's get to it!
> 
> [Fanart Tag](https://eternalglitch.tumblr.com/tagged/lfls-fanart) on Tumblr – Check out all of the amazing work! There's enough that it would now take me two or three hours to link it all, but they're all incredible and absolutely worth a look.  
> You can also see a LFLS fanart story on my [insta](https://www.instagram.com/eternal.glitch/) for works not shared on Tumblr! I have a Twitter @eternalglitch as well, and although there isn't an easy way to link art unique to LFLS there, I do retweet it! I really do appreciate every piece of art I get guys, thanks so much. 
> 
> Chapter content warnings: non-graphic shoulder dislocation (well, less serious, subluxation actually) had already happened to a non-POV character in the first part. Also heavier emotions, including self hatred/self deprecation in both sections of the chapter, but especially the second part.
> 
> Also a general arc head's up, this arc also deals with (perhaps not surprisingly) emotional abuse/manipulation. Please be safe when reading!

_Ba-dump._

“Donnie?”

_Ba-dump._

“Donnie, can you get up?”

_Ba-dump._

“Donnie, please, you’re scaring me.”

A hand hesitantly reached out and touched his shoulder and Donnie escaped from his thoughts like a swimmer coming up to breathe. He blinked, thick, salty tears spilling over and dripping down his chin. He started to reach up to wipe at them, but the effort made his vision swim. He gave up and just let the tears keep falling.

He shakily inhaled and turned his head, investigating the hand on his shoulder. It led up to an arm, and then a body. Of course. He should know this, why wasn’t his brain _working–_

Mikey was still staring at him, tears dripping down his own face like some sort of mirror image, and Donnie shuddered under his little brother’s wide, vulnerable eyes. He was hurting. He was hurting–

 _“That– that looks like my tech._ _Why does that look like my tech?”_

–and this was all Donnie’s fault.

His chest tightened.

“Dee, we gotta go help Dad,” Mikey whispered. He sniffled, eyes searching Donnie’s face. “We can’t go get Leo until we–“

Donnie turned his head back away, staring at his shaking hands as he held them up to his face. The electrical burn was worse than he had thought, his glove burnt away right on his palm. And that loud heartbeat in his head, and the tingling pain that continued…

He should take all of his tech off. Assess the damage.

One step after another, like a computer reading lines of code. Simple. Easy.

So why couldn’t he do it?

There was another crackling sound, his goggles sparking slightly. The area around his tympana stung. “Ah,” Donnie said distantly. “Michael… could you get these off…?”

He’d do it himself, but one of his hands was still in agony and he couldn’t convince himself to drop the mask tails for even one millisecond. His eyelids, feeling weirdly heavy, fought against his best efforts and started to slide shut.

There was a pause, and then he felt his goggles tug free. His raw skin smarted with the sudden movement before the pain dulled slightly. “Ouch!” Mikey suddenly said, the sound of what was probably the goggles clattering to the ground. “Those are _hot_ , what–“

Mikey went quiet.

“Raph? Donnie– Donnie’s hurt!” The youngest turtle called, his voice catching. “I think he needs help!”

Donnie wobbled, about to fully melt into a disjointed puddle on the ground, and barely caught himself in time to remain sitting up. He blinked, prying his eyes back open just in time to see Raph catch April with his larger mystic form, setting her down gently with one hand and leaving Donnie’s precious jetpack pinned in place by Draxum’s roots. The two immediately turned and raced towards him, and Donnie felt himself flush slightly as he realized that out of everyone, he was the one that needed saving.

 _Don’t waste that effort on me,_ the thought sprung, unprompted, into his head. He swallowed and tried to get to his feet, limbs shaking.

He barely made it up before his legs gave out again, Mikey gasping and grabbing onto one of his arms. His younger brother pulled, barely keeping Donnie from smacking against the stone, when a large hand grabbed his shell and lifted him up, gentle despite the grasp. Somehow the hand pressing his battle shell against his shell, normally a comforting weight, _stung_. “Donnie? Where are you hurt?” Raph asked anxiously.

Donnie shook his head, ignoring the new sensation of pain. “’M _fine_ ,” he got out. “Just– we need to pursue Draxum, we can’t let him get away with Leo–“

Raph’s face shuttered, his mouth tightening. “He’s gone,” he said slowly. “He used a portal, he could be far away–“

“Or he could be nearby with our brother!” Donnie tightened his burnt hand into a fist. It hurt. “We can’t leave him there…”

“We’re not leaving anyone anywhere,” April said suddenly, crossing her arms. She had scrapes on her cheek and dirt on her outfit, looking slightly worse for wear, but seemed to be the best off between the four of them.

Mikey, who had bent over to pick up Donnie’s goggles, squeaked as they sparked again, juggling them between his hands. April and Raph turned to look, both going still. “Your tech– wait, your battle shell is hot,” Raph realized. “Donnie, what _happened_?”

“Never mind that!” April burst out, rushing over to hover besides Donnie. “Get it off of him, Raph!”

“I can’t!”

“What do you mean– oh,” April said, a sobering realization dawning in her voice. “Okay, uh, put him down. Mikey and I can do it.”

The other two moved forwards, hands reaching to try and hit the side button on the plastron clasp as Raph gently placed Donnie back onto the ground. The battle shell didn’t respond, however, the inner wiring probably fried. April and Mikey had to each grab a side and tug it free by sheer force. Donnie tried to keep still, but a pained whimper managed to escape his mouth as his back started feeling hotter and hotter. Each tug pulled at his shell, uncomfortable in even the best of situations, and it scraped past the sides when it finally came loose and Donnie fell forwards at the same time as Mikey and April went floundering backwards.

Donnie hit the ground hard, winded, and lay there for a moment, vision flickering as his eyes tried to slide shut again and he tried to resist the call to plummet into unconsciousness.

“Donnie? Donnie, I know I said you need to sleep, but this really isn’t the time, okay?” his older brother’s voice cracked, and Donnie blearily looked up at him.

“Not sleeping,” he protested. “Just… just give me a minute, I’ll be up in a second. I’m okay, don’t worry about me, Leo is the one that…” his voice trailed off and he swallowed, trying not to linger on the facts staring him in the face. 

April knelt beside him, reaching for his left arm. Donnie hissed as her hands brushed against his wrist tech, the slight pressure suddenly making him aware that the pain wasn’t only in the palm of his hand. “Oh,” April whispered. She tugged, pulling the fried tech off and setting it aside on the ground. “You’re _burned._ ” 

She hovered over his hand for a moment, as if unsure what to do. Donnie blinked hard as he tried to keep his eyes focused on her or Raph, but his family kept fading in and out of blurriness. 

“Raph?” Mikey asked, voice quiet. “I think Donnie’s too hurt to fight. And uh, you… what do we do?”

“Give me a minute.” There was a loud crash and a hissing sound before another crash followed right after it. “Never mind, we don’t have a minute. Okay, new plan: I carry Donnie, and we go help Pops.”

“But– why is your arm hanging like that?” Mikey finally burst out. “Let me carry him, we need to get your arm fixed, or…”

“Mikey, I can lift all of you guys with one arm. It’s just a little banged up, I’ll be fine. Besides, only Donnie, Leo, and Dad know any first aid. I think right now Pops is our best bet,” Raph replied slowly, his voice tight.

April stood up. “Wait, you want us to go toe-to-toe with Big Mama right _now?_ Are you hearing yourself, Raph?” Another crash, and Donnie struggled to shove himself back upright. He couldn’t quite see his father and Big Mama, but he caught glimpses of them darting between the audience seating levels.

Raph bent down, one arm gently scooping Donnie up so he was secure in the crook of his arm. Donnie swallowed when he glanced over and saw the discolored bump on his brother’s right shoulder. It looked painful, and Donnie knew enough about first aid to know that they needed to restrict that arm’s motion as soon as possible.

His gaze slowly rose to his brother’s face, searching it for any sign of hatred, any spark of disgust towards Donnie that he rightfully deserved. He had been told to go save Leo, and he had let them down. Worse than that, he was somewhat complicit in Leo being taken. Surely, surely Raph was mad at him. Or at least disappointed.

But rather than those emotions, Raph’s face was paler than usual, sweat beading on the areas where the red mask didn’t cover. He glanced down at Donnie, frowning, and Donnie looked away.

“Are you okay?” his brother finally asked, starting to move. He tested his grip on Donnie at first, trying not to jostle him, but sped up as he gained confidence on his ability not to drop the softshell turtle. Every step made Donnie shift slightly, his back stinging as it bumped against Raph’s hard plastron. 

“Fine,” Donnie muttered. “…I’m sorry.”

Mikey hurried up to jog beside them, Donnie’s goggles in his hands. “What about his battle shell? Should we–”

“We don’t have time to worry about it,” Raph said. “Leave it.“

Donnie’s eyes snapped open and he floundered, trying to crane his head around Raph’s body to look backwards for where it was. “No!” he gasped. “Don’t– don’t leave any of my tech here. You can’t leave any of it here!”

“Dee, Dad needs help right now, we can’t carry it–“

“But we can’t _leave_ it here!” Donnie demanded. He looked around, realizing April, Mikey, and Raph were all giving him odd looks.

“I’ll help you rebuild it,” Mikey offered after a moment. “You rebuild it from scratch all the time, so–“

Donnie swallowed, trying to resist the urge to scream. They thought he was upset at losing his tech. And, sure, he normally would be, his tech was his pride and joy. But all he could think about was the one piece of tech that had been repurposed, and a sick, disgusting feeling squirmed in his gut. The hand holding onto two tattered blue pieces of fabric tightened. “I don’t care about having to rebuild it! Just…”

His family kept staring at him, and Donnie closed his eyes, his energy sapping. “Bring it with us,” he asked, voice breaking slightly. “The battle shell, my wrist tech, the bug slapper, and the jetpack. We need to bring them with us.”

There was silence for a moment, and then another bang. “I’m sorry, Don,” Raph apologized, his voice lilting in confusion. “We can’t afford to do that…”

Raph started hurrying forwards again, and Donnie squirmed, trying to climb down. Raph’s grip on his shell tightened, and Donnie was too weak to do more than weakly shove at Raph’s hand. “Put me down, then– carry those instead.” None of the others replied, April and Mikey keeping pace even as they looked away from Donnie’s entreating gaze. “ _Guys._ ” Donnie refused to beg, he never begged, but he was coming uncomfortably close.

“Here,” Mikey said, angling closer to Raph. He dropped the goggles onto Donnie’s plastron before nodding once at Raph. “Your crystal in there is the irreplaceable thing, right?”

It wasn’t about that. Why didn’t they see that it wasn’t about that–

Unless they really hadn’t noticed Leo’s collar. Unless they still didn’t know the specifics of what had happened to Leonardo. Unless they didn’t know the consequences of Donnie’s tech in the hands of their enemies.

Donnie slowly nodded, unclenching the hand grasping the mask tails to add the goggles into its hold. Up ahead he could finally see his father, his robe torn on one shoulder and a scratch on his cheek bleeding. 

“Splints!” April called, clutching her bat tightly. Donnie was amazed that she still had it after Draxum had attacked her like he had. “Hang on!”

Splinter glanced over at them, panting, his tail twitching as he remained in a forwards stance. “Boys? What are you _doing–_ “

Big Mama crashed down in front of him, Splinter’s head snapping back around to look at her. He twisted, a roundhouse kick shooting at her side, but one large hand blocked it. “Ah, more turtley-boos!” the spider hissed, eyes narrowing. “I don’t believe any of you bought tippulant tickets!” She opened her mouth and spat webs at Splinter, who dove to the side. “That’s against Big Mama’s rules!”

Splinter jumped up, spinning as he tried to land multiple kicks on her. She raised two hands to ward his kicks off with her forearms before one smaller hand closed around his leg and she twirled, throwing him.

Raph let out a huff of air, squeezing Donnie slightly as his muscles tensed. “Don’t,” Donnie said, realizing that his brother was intending to try and fight with one hand _while_ carrying his injured sibling. Even for the biggest, most athletically gifted of the four brothers, that was impossible.

Raph glanced at him. “We can’t just–“

“Leave our dad alone!” Mikey yelled, running past them before launching himself at Big Mama. He had leapt with one leg jerking upwards, the knee driving into her side. She hissed, trying to grab him, but he hit the ground again and whirled his kusari-fundo until it lit his face up with orange flames. “You lied to us! You said you didn’t know where Leo was!”

Big Mama spat webs at him but he danced out of the way. Donnie twitched, not liking how inconsequential the orange turtle looked before the spider. Big Mama lunged again and Mikey managed to wrap his weapon around one of her larger arms, yanking her forwards and towards him. The Battle Nexus’ boss didn’t seem fazed, however; instead she readied her other arms. As soon as she was close enough, she swung, arm about to bat Michael away like he was an annoying fly–

Only for April to dart in and swing her bat hard enough that Big Mama shrieked and tried to retreat, shaking her hand in pain. Her other arm remained trapped by Mikey, who let out a breath as he turned to look at April. “Thanks, April.”

“Don’t even mention it,” their sister replied, resting the bat on one shoulder confidently before both of them turned to glare at Big Mama. “Now, I do believe we have some good old-fashioned butt kicking to dish out.”

Big Mama lifted her hand to examine Mikey’s weapon before she turned towards them, mouth opening as she inhaled. Mikey and April shifted, making sure they were right in front of Donnie and Raph. From Donnie’s vantage point, their backs looked remarkably small to him.

“Wait!” Splinter snapped just as Big Mama yanked her hand back, dragging Mikey forwards. Mikey was ready, though, and rather than be dragged he ran forwards, April right beside him before they both jumped to land another kick. Big Mama rose to meet them, red eyes flaring. “ _Stop!_ ”

Splinter moved too quickly for Donnie to follow him in his current state. He managed to catch glimpses of his father’s tail smacking Big Mama’s hands away while he blocked Mikey and April’s kicks with his forearms, and then landed in the middle of the three as the others stared at him, panting.

“Uh, Splints?” April finally managed to voice. “I think you just blocked the wrong guys.”

Donnie forced himself to shift to be in a slightly more upright position, his shell stinging as it scraped against Raph’s plastron. Splinter hadn’t taken his eyes off of Big Mama and she hissed at him, finally shaking her hand free of Mikey’s ensnarement. The kusari-fundo’s face hit the ground with a _thunk._

“You again,” she snapped. “What do you want, rat man?”

Splinter took a deep breath, and then turned his head slightly to scan April and Mikey. His gaze bounced to Donnie and Raph, and Donnie watched his father’s hands tighten into fists.

“Where is Blue?” Splinter demanded. “I thought you had gone to get him!”

There was an awkward silence as the siblings all avoided each other’s glances. Even Big Mama went quiet for a moment, her eyes widening before an amused smirk appeared on her face.

“We just missed him,” April finally said. She shook her head, looking at Splinter as her voice wobbled slightly. “This creep Draxum attacked Mikey, and after he knocked Mikey and I to the side, he suddenly kidnapped Leo!”

Raph inhaled sharply, and Donnie suddenly found himself invested in closely examining the blue mask tails he was holding if only to avoid the icy hands of guilt creeping up his neck.

“ _What?_ ” their father asked. “No. Not again. He can’t have his hands on–“

“This is all very well and fun, but are you ignoring me?” Big Mama tittered. “That’s very rude of you–“

“I don’t have time for this!” Splinter snapped. He turned to face her. “Big Mama. Step aside, we have no more business here.”

“Business? Oh, you want to talk _business_ ?” Big Mama crawled forwards, leaning down so she was right in Splinter’s face. “How is this for business? You interrupted _my_ Battle Nexus finale, caused a bunch of dimbly damage, took out my kraken, attacked me, and you want to, what, walk out of here now that you’re done? I don’t think so. None of you will be leaving my Battle Nexus for a long, long time.”

Splinter’s ears flattened, and he glared up at her. “You were the one that allowed a _child_ to–“

“Oh, pish posh,” Big Mama waved Splinter off, scoffing at him. “It’s not like anyone _cared_ about a minor manner such as that. I gave the blue turtle plenty of offers to alert you of his whereabouts, but he just had to be trixy troublesome about it.”

Mikey tried to step forwards and April grabbed his arm. She looked back at Donnie and Raph, biting her lip. Her eyes suddenly flicked around, something seeming to catch her attention behind Raph. Donnie twisted to look, but Raph was blocking most of his ability to see what it was.

“Oh, I’m _sure_ of it,” Splinter spat back. “And what strings did you have attached to _those_ offers?”

Big Mama stared at him for a moment. “Do we know each other?” she finally asked. “Handsome as you are, I feel like I would remember making a deal with you, but…”

Donnie kept straining his neck, trying to see what it had been that had alarmed April like that. He caught flashes of movement to the side, and he suddenly realized with groggy horror that they were all surrounded by yokai guards. “Raph,” he hissed, fluttering the back of his limp hand against his brother’s arm. “ _Raph!_ ”

Raph glanced down at him. He then turned to look in the same direction that Donnie jerked his head towards, following his cue. Donnie felt the grip on him tighten, enough so that it was slightly uncomfortable, and Raph turned back to the others, shoulders set.

Mikey had also noticed, and the youngest clenched his jaw before he looked at April and Raph in turn, giving one quick, decisive nod. Donnie felt Raph shift his feet, his center of gravity lowering as he got into a horse stance. They were all going to fight their way out.

Donnie needed to help. Fight, calculate their odds– _something._ Anything. But he couldn’t even keep his head fully upright, couldn’t focus bleary eyes on the enemies to count how many there were. On the best of days, Donnie wasn’t great at plans, either. He always lectured that science could only be done after a series of failures and explosions, and there was no room for that first thing right now.

Or, well. No _more_ room for that first thing.

Splinter glanced around, also noticing the bellhops and guards as they lined up behind Big Mama, forming a tight circle around them. “Always being difficult,” Splinter bit out. “Haven’t changed at all, have you, my sassy sugar badger?” his voice curdled with venom, the strange phrase causing all of his sons, April, and Big Mama to go still.

“Sassy…” Mikey started.

“Sugar? _”_ April echoed.

Raph completed the thought. “Badger. Erm, _Dad?_ What aren’t you telling us about this– this whole situation, exactly?”

Splinter kept staring up at Big Mama, his tail lashing behind him. “It’s _you,_ ” the spider breathed, eyes widening. “My fuzzy cuddleupagus.”

“Dad,” Mikey started, his voice cracking. “What’s going on? Do you _know_ her?”

Big Mama reached for Splinter but he batted her hand away. Surprisingly, she seemed to let him do that, her large hand easily being redirected. “I should have guessed,” she breathed in delight, a smile widening on her face. “Between your fighting and this… I knew that the turtles were made from your DNA, but Draxxie never enlightened me that they were under _your_ direct care.”

“If you ever cared about me, if you ever held anything but malice in your tiny, shriveled heart,” Splinter continued, voice cold, as he ignored Big Mama’s commentary. “You will let my sons and I _leave_.”

Big Mama blinked, apparently not expecting his response. “And what of the human?” she asked.

“Obviously her as well.”

Big Mama hissed, her gaze raking over April, Mikey, Raph, and then dropping to Donnie. She kept staring at him, and Donnie felt his skin crawl with the way her eyes glinted and a smug look appeared on her face.

“Oh, my huggie poo,” Big Mama crooned, her voice suddenly back to being sickly sweet. She looked back at Splinter and tapped her chest, her human form appearing with a flourish of purple sparks. “You know I would never just do a favor for free. But, in the interest of our past, I suppose we could work out a _deal_.”

“No. No deals,” Splinter deflected immediately. “I know your games.”

“You won’t even hear me out? Not your bimbly brightest today, are we?” Big Mama chuckled, covering her mouth with one slim hand. “If you don’t want to make a deal, then it’s simple: I just keep all of you for my Battle Nexus! We could have some wonderful times together again, my sweet lovable lark. So if I were you, I would take my deal before I lose my patience. I’m not in the mood for giving people time to get cold feetsies right now.”

“…fine. What do you want in exchange for letting us walk out of here?”

Donnie swallowed as Big Mama’s eyes flitted back over to them. Somehow he knew what was coming. “Well! Seeing as Kraken-Tom was whizzy knackered by the red one, I wouldn’t mind swapping out for a new champion. He would be quite suitable for this.” Donnie felt Raph’s muscles tense, and he glanced up at his brother’s face in alarm. The usual gentle giant’s eyes glistened with anger, his teeth bared in pain and rage. Big Mama’s smile widened, and she swooped in for the kill before anyone could tell her to take her deal and shove it. “Or I could settle for just the purple one! I do so love his little whizzy gizmos. If he just fulfills whatever requests I have, he could even work from home!”

 _…ah_. Donnie thought he might be sick. He started to shake his head, thoughts flooding his already overloaded mind. No. No, no, no he couldn’t do that. His family couldn’t expect him to do that. He tried to swallow but a lump caught in his throat and a weight pressed down on his chest, leaving him paralyzed in place as he started to shake in Raph’s arms. He pictured his tech in the hands of Big Mama. He pictured his tech used against them next time they fought her. He pictured Leo, looking at him with fear in his eyes. Like he was scared _of Donnie._ Like Donnie was the monster that had…

Surprisingly, it was Mikey that spoke up. “ _No,_ ” the box shell turtle replied. “You can’t have Raph. You can’t have Donnie. You had Leo for three weeks and you lied to us when we asked about him. You don’t have the right to ask for anything, you owe _us_ now!”

Big Mama’s expression shifted into annoyance. “I am being generous with that offer,” she hissed. “Shall I–“

“One match.” Splinter finally spoke up, his voice flat. There was something in it that made Donnie feel nauseous, a heaviness to the words that spoke of a darker pit of emotion that the turtle wasn’t sure he wanted to peer into. “I’ll fight one match for you. Attaching my name to a fight will be enough to help pay for whatever _damages_ you’re making a fuss about.”

“Wait, what?” April asked, her voice hesitant. “Is that really a good idea?”

Splinter turned to finally look at all of them, his eyes slightly shimmering with frustrated tears. It was rare to actually see their father cry, and Donnie didn’t know what to say as the rat mutant covered his snout with one hand. “I refuse to let any of my boys get involved with this barbaric place more so than they already have been. I will not let you get hurt by her as well if I can help it. If anyone is going to make a deal with her, it will be me.”

“…Lou, I–“ Big Mama pulled her hand back before she reached out for Splinter. He looked back over his shoulder at her. Donnie couldn’t see whatever expression was now on his face, but whatever it was made Big Mama balk. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking down and away before her brow screwed up in frustration. “Fine,” she spat. “Go, then. I don’t need a deal with you _this_ time. Before I change my mind, just– go. I won’t give you a pass like this again.”

Donnie remembered to breath and shakily inhaled, Raph hefting him so he had a better grip. Splinter didn’t move for a moment, studying Big Mama, before he nodded and turned to walk past them.

“Let’s go, boys,” he murmured as he brushed past Raph.

Raph and Donnie followed, the air tense as they approached the yokai that had been standing behind them. The yokai glowered at them, the owl bellhop eyeing Raph and Donnie from where he stood. Finally he nodded and stepped to the side, Big Mama’s other servants doing the same so the family could slip out of the gap.

“Hey Dad?” Mikey started, hurrying to catch up to Splinter. “You and Big Mama were? And you know Draxum? And… _Lou?_ ”

Their father shook his head, not looking at them. “I will tell you later. I promise. But– but not right now. Please.” Splinter straightened up, shaking his head like a fly had been buzzing around his head. “We need to focus on saving your brother and bringing him home.”

They all went quiet again, moving as fast as possible while still not actually breaking out into a run. Donnie started to zone out as he stared at his father’s back before his head rolled back to stare up at the Hidden City’s rocky ceiling.

“Are they following us?” Donnie mumbled, his body still tingling. Whether it was from adrenaline or the shock from earlier, he didn’t know. He kept waiting, expecting relief to wash over him, but no such feeling came. He continued to teeter on the edge of a cliff of expectation, ready to tip into despair but struggling to stay standing. The thought of Leo, still with Draxum, kept washing over him in waves, the image of his brother silently and willingly stepping into the portal consuming his thoughts. Why had Leo gone with Draxum? What piece of information was Donnie missing here? He knew Leo. A shock, even one that strong, wouldn’t have stopped his stubborn brother.

…right?

“Who, Big Mama?” Raph replied, glancing back. “No, it seems like she’s actually letting us go this time. It’s okay.” Donnie looked down at the goggles and mask tails he was holding, and he could see out of the corner of his eye Raph also glance down at them. “Hey, Donnie? I need to ask… what _happened?”_

“I…“ Donnie started, his throat catching. Draxum, reaching for Donnie’s head– what had he been about to do? “I just…” Being on the ground, unable to move even as Leo pushed himself back up, the shock collar still snug around his throat.

…he should tell Raph. _He needed to tell Raph._

“We can’t go back for my tech?” was instead what escaped his mouth, and he blanched, looking away slightly. What was he doing? It was important that his tech wasn’t used against them, yes, but the priority here was obviously Leo. _So are you really worried about Leo? Or about yourself?_ The thought pokes at him, uncomfortable, if only because it was not entirely wrong.

Raph shook his head. “With Big Mama like that, we–“

“Uh, guys?” Mikey suddenly spoke up, jogging up to keep pace at Raph’s side. He fidgeted slightly. “I… I’m sorry.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. Donnie could see a cut on his jaw, his body battered and bruised from the fight.

“For what?” Raph asked, voice puzzled, brow furrowing as he was distracted from Donnie’s question. “Mikey, you did great. It couldn’t be helped–“

“No!” Mikey interrupted. “I promised I’d take care of everything else. And then Draxum appeared out of nowhere and I messed up,” Mikey admitted, ducking his head slightly. He sniffled again. “I, um, I’ll…” he trailed off. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t get mad at him! I was there, too,” April jumped in, catching up and putting her arm around Mikey’s shoulders.

“Whoah, whoah, we’re not blaming anybody,” Raph said. He shifted, and Donnie was jostled in his arms, his head rolling over to press against his plastron slightly. He felt the exhaustion swallowing him whole, dragging him down with each step Raph took. “I don’t know how Draxum got involved, but we know what’s going on now. We still know Leo’s out there and that… that’s a little better than before, right?” Raph’s voice faltered.

Would it be bad if he closed his eyes for a moment? He couldn’t exactly walk right now, and he could still listen. Donnie accepted the temptation, embracing the darkness, listening to the beat of Raph’s heart as he gave into the weight pressing down on him. It would just be for a minute. One minute and then he’d be alert again, and ready to tell them the truth. Ready to tell them what exactly must have happened to Leo because of Donnie’s own doing. He just needed… a minute.

“Yeah, but why did he go with _Draxum?_ ” April spoke up. “We were right there, we would’ve helped him. Did you see the look on his face? He was… he was _scared._ ”

“And didn’t Draxum and Big Mama fight last time they saw each other? Why were they working together?” Mikey muttered.

“You wanna go back and ask the spider lady who is still glaring after us? Somehow I don’t think she’d be in the mood to help… we’re going to have to get to the bottom of this ourselves.”

“…so what now?”

“Well, we figure out _why_ Leo left with Draxum, and then we go get him. We’re not leaving our brother with the guy that threw him off of a roof a few weeks ago.”

“Donnie, do you know what Draxum said to Leo?”

“…Donnie?”

* * *

* * *

Draxum was angry. He must be, Leo hadn’t won the match, hadn’t fulfilled expectations. Stupid. Idiot. It would have been– not okay. It wouldn’t have been okay, but if his brothers had just forgotten about him like they had been supposed to, then Leo would have killed the kraken and okay, yes, he would still be here, but he wouldn’t have _disappointed Draxum_.

There’s no longer that promise of the return to the unsettling silence of his solitary cell anymore. There’s no longer that promise of a water jug and food three times a day. There’s no longer a promise for anything, really. He had no idea what to expect, no idea what to brace for, and that lack of expectation filled him with unease.

Leo stepped into the room with a wary shuffle, trying to take up as little space as possible. Sweat dripped off of his chin, and he shuddered slightly before tightening every muscle he could until he felt rigid but in control. Finally the fog of panic started to fade, enough so that he could get his bearings even if that anxious fear remained at the edges of his consciousness. He looked around, still tightly holding onto the swords, not sure what to do with himself. This was a new place, a red room with a fire that crackled softly in the fireplace. A few photos and maps lined the walls, and a dog bed sat by the foot of a plush chair and a stand with an orb in it. Leo could make out two black shapes in the bed, both curled up into their own little ball.

Draxum emerged from the portal behind him, his horns glinting in the firelight. The yokai straightened up to his full height as the portal snapped shut a moment later. It was quiet, now, with just him and Draxum standing across from each other.

He stared down at Leo, expression carefully blank, and then his eyes narrowed. “Stop that,” he said, brushing past Leo and making a beeline for the orb. “It’s pointless and unnecessary.”

The familiar chirp was too loud in the otherwise silent room. Leo stiffened even further, to the point where he felt ready to snap from how tense he was from head to toe, eyes darting around as he tried to figure out what Draxum had been referring to. It was only when he blinked and felt more liquid spill down his face that he realized.

_…oh._

Oh, no.

Leo’s face paled with the horrifying recognition that he still had tears actively dripping down his face, some spilling off of his chin– that hadn’t been sweat after all– and puddling onto the floor while others never even made it past his mask, absorbing in the no-longer-quite-blue cloth.

He bit the inside of his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing at his face with the hand that didn’t have the fiery sting in the shape of a handprint pulsating with each beat of his heart. _Ignore the pain_ , he ordered himself. And, just like the pain, ignore the emotions, the useless, heavy things that were crushing him under their weight because he had no choice but to look away from them. Any close examination of this tangled ball of feelings and worries and the whole thing would come unraveled, taking Leo down with it. 

No. No, he had to take everything and shove it down past his chest, down past his stomach, down into his toes, so he wouldn’t feel anything anymore. Then it would stop hurting, and he would be okay.

It was the only way he would be okay.

_“Leo…?” Donnie was still on the ground, hand reaching out towards him, eyes wide in panic and horror. Leo didn’t know what his brother was thinking as he got up and silently followed Draxum to the portal. He didn’t know if he wanted to find out, either, for he was sure that had been the last time one of his brothers would ever look at him with that same worried care now that they had seen..._

Draxum stood in front of the orb, a wooden gnarled casing holding it in place. He tapped at it with one clawed finger, eyes narrowing as he swiped across the surface a few times. “Ha,” he snorted. “Looks like Big Mama is useful for something after all. They’ll be busy for a while.”

The sheep yokai rubbed his chin, considering, and then turned to nudge the dog bed with one of his hooves.

“Huginn! Muninn!” he said. “Get up, I’m back.”

Two heads poked up out of the bed, blinking at the two figures with sleepy eyes. “Boss!” Muninn greeted. “We didn’t even realize you left! We were in the middle of a great, big cat nap–“

“ _Muninn_ ,” Huginn hissed, elbowing his friend. “Baron Draxum is right here, maybe you shouldn’t say–?” The gargoyle floundered slightly, taking off to hover in the air. “So sorry about that, Baron Draxum, we didn’t mean to be sleeping–“

“It was fine, I took care of it,” Draxum said, waving him off. “It wasn’t entirely unexpected that Big Mama couldn’t even handle simple security. But I saw all I needed to see.”

Draxum turned to look back over at Leo, who took a breath, the inhale fluttering in his throat as he struggled to keep his breathing steady. Forcing himself to put his weight on his ankle, he obediently approached the orb, catching a glimpse of his brothers fighting Big Mama before it abruptly faded away at the flick of Draxum’s finger. The image skipped back, rewinding, and Leo took the time to study his feet, hating how his eyes continued to burn even as he was sure they remained dry. He had plenty of experience going numb for a fight, for just doing what was needed in one motion after another. So that’s how he would handle this. It was a fight. A long, permanent, fight that might last the rest of his life.

_Don’t think about it._

“Obviously your performance was lacking,” Draxum started, the yokai’s voice low. He reached out and rested a hand on Leo’s shoulder, Leo remaining perfectly still at the uncomfortable grip. “But it wasn’t half bad, either. I saw you, after all.” Draxum chuckled, giving Leo a single heavy pat. “A little faster, and you would have taken your brother’s head. Ah, well. Better luck next time, right, Green?”

He didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see it again. But his head slowly rose, his eyes widening as the orb’s images reflected onto them. A far away shot of Donnie running after Leo, Leo spinning around and his katanas aiming right at his brother’s neck with practiced and instinctual speed–

If Donnie hadn’t blocked that, Leo had plenty of first-hand experience to know what the outcome would have been.

_Don’t think about it._

“Uh, Boss, he looks kind of banged up,” Muninn said, peering at Leo’s foot from the dog bed. “That ankle is _definitely_ swollen.”

Huginn landed on Draxum’s shoulder but shot an alarmed look at the other goyle, shaking his head slightly. There was a pause, the weight on Leo’s shoulder growing heavier, before Draxum lifted his hand from Leo’s shoulder and circled around him, reminding the turtle of the first time this had all happened.

“You’re right; look at all of these injuries,” Draxum said disdainfully. “I made warriors out of turtles because you were supposed to have the ultimate survival _and_ defense. It’s almost like you’re trying to prove me wrong.”

“Uhhh, Boss? Maybe you’re being just... a little bit hard on the kid?” Huginn ventured nervously. His ears pressed downwards as Draxum turned his head to look at him, expression cold.

“And?”

“He only has the shell on his abdomen…?”

Draxum sighed. “Spit it out. What exactly are you trying to say?”

“Oh, I get it!” Muninn fluttered over, landing on Leo’s right shoulder. Leo flinched slightly, trying desperately to hide the shaking of his knees that had suddenly come into play. Was it exhaustion? Fear? A mix of the two? “It doesn’t exactly help protect his limbs since it’s just a shell!”

Draxum raised a hand. “Stop,” he told the gargoyles, not even noticing how Leo held his breath and froze in place for a moment. Or perhaps not showing that he had noticed. Leo never knew for sure how much of Draxum’s actions were perfectly calculated, he just knew that he had to be on his toes about it in the case that it _had_ been intentional. “Contrary to what you two seem to be thinking, I _do_ have something called eyes. After all of that, I wasn’t going to go to all of this trouble for nothing.”

He strode over to the far wall, pulling open cabinets as he searched for something. “Ah,” the warrior alchemist said, taking a black roll of some kind of fabric out and examining it. “Here,” he said, shoving it into Huginn’s arms. “You’re so worried, you deal with him. I’m going to go collect what I need before those other three nuisances show up.” He glanced at Leo. “Stay put... and set the swords down for now. You won’t need them here.”

The gargoyle hopped off of his master’s shoulder, hovering there for a moment as he watched Draxum turn and stalk out of the room. Huginn then made a beeline for Leo, perching on his non-occupied shoulder as Leo stooped and set the katanas down by his feet. “Hey, Green,” he offered sheepishly when Leo straightened back up.

Leo turned his head to glance at him and then pointedly turned back away. Huginn shuffled his feet on his shoulder, ears drooping.

“Come on, Huginn,” Muninn suddenly said. “We wanna do this before Boss gets back, right? These bandages are filthy, can you take them off and I’ll wrap the new ones?”

“Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah, totally!” Huginn said. He dove off and started to tug at Leo’s dirty bandages on his right arm, Leo hissing through his teeth as the gargoyle’s hands brushed against where Donnie had grabbed him. “Ah,” Huginn stammered, red eyes widening slightly before he moved with slightly more care. Peeking at his arm, Leo could see that the bandage there was burned almost all the way through, a black mark left behind on the white material to show exactly where Donnie had tried to hold onto him. The bandage unraveled, first slowly as the sweat and blood held it fast like glue, and then faster and faster until it all piled on the floor.

Leo didn’t look as Muninn flew over to start tightly winding new bandages on that arm with the fabric Draxum had given them. 

“Same style as the old ones?” Muninn asked.

“Probably?” Huginn agreed, drawing the word out for a moment. “The more skin it covers the better, right?”

“Okay. Good thing you wanted to go as mummies that last Hollow’s Eve,” Muninn said amicably. “The first five times we had tried to put on those bandages was a _mess_. Now I actually kind of know what I’m doing!” His hands moved quickly, winding the black fabric so that it was snug against Leo’s skin, just tight enough that Leo was aware that it was there.

Meanwhile, done with the old bandages, Huginn tugged at Leo’s right sock once before it ripped, easily falling apart under the wear and tear of fighting as well as the gargoyle’s sharp nails. He paused to study Leo’s ankle before he wordlessly moved on to do the same thing to the other sock.

Leo was relieved to find out that aside from the newest burn and his ankle, there actually weren’t that many wounds– the old bandages, stained with competitor’s blood, had made it look worse than it actually was. Most of his scratches were either already healed into a few shiny scars or were only a slight wound, and the stings and cuts from being thrown against the wall would also fade soon enough.

The gargoyles dumped the old bandages and his socks in the fire, watching them go up in smoke with nods of satisfaction. After they turned back around, the two gargoyles flew back to give him the once over and nodded. “I have to admit it, the black does look snazzy,” Muninn commented.

Huginn frowned. “Better than the old ones, anyways.”

“Should we also do something about this?” Muninn asked, flying closer. He reached out and his hand brushed against Leo’s face, right next to his eyes, and Leo pulled away, gritting his teeth to suppress the instinct to overreact and jump away. He wasn’t sure; did stay put mean this very spot or this room?

However, his attempt to get away didn’t work. Huginn, who had just circled around to take a look at his mask, was right behind him, and moved before Leo could decide whether it was worth attempting to bat the gargoyles away from him. “This thing is filthy,” Huginn remarked, and Leo felt a tug at the back of his head before his mask loosened from his face and was whisked away.

There was a pause, the skin around his eyes almost stinging with the bizarre feeling of air brushing against it. Leo didn’t think he had ever worn his mask consecutively for that long before. He blinked, one hand reaching up to touch his face and feeling the strange sensation of his bare face again. He felt… exposed. He didn’t like it.

He reached back for the mask in a panic, but it was too late: Huginn had fluttered over to the fireplace and tossed it like a basketball, it catching ablaze in front of Leo’s wide eyes.

Leo didn’t debate any longer; he just moved, one hand reaching, outstretched, for the fire. He had been burned on his hands before; the palms were already shiny, the skin scarred. What was one more burn to him? That mask was– it was–

_“Here’s your gift, Blue! Close your eyes,” his father said on his birthday, Leo squeezing his eyes shut as he felt something get tied around his head. “To replace that old head wrap of yours–“_

_Mikey danced around, the blue mask making his yellow freckles pop out even more than usual. “I hope that Dad makes me the same style mask as yours for my birthday! This is so much more comfortable than when Donnie let me try his on!” His younger brother giggled, flashing a gap-toothed grin at him–_

_Leo leaned against a wall, fiddling with the long mask tails as he and Raph waited for the others. “Should we change up our look?” Leo mused. “Masks are very… costume-y.”_

_“Nah, these are a symbol of the Mad Dogs now,” Raph assured him. “They’re very important for us–“_

It went up in flames.

Leo’s hand shot after it, the blue fabric blackening and curling up before it started to disintegrate.

“Green.” Draxum’s voice is calm, level, but Leo froze in place, right hand hovering inches from the fire, like he had merely been warming himself during a particularly cold winter. The mask finished burning, the fire swallowing it whole in but a few seconds, and all the red eared slider had been able to do was watch, those few seconds feeling like both an eternity and no time at all.

He had already lost his sash and gloves somewhere in the Nexus. And he hadn’t cared too much about the socks. But… but that mask was different. His dad had made that for him. It helped him feel like actual brothers with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey– sure, they didn’t have stripes like Leo did, and were all quite a bit different, but they were all clearly related through their own similarities… something partially represented by those masks.

“Blue” was what Splinter called him, but now he was just… green. He was just a green mutant turtle. That was it, unless he wanted to think about the blue collar locked around his neck as his last sense of belonging, which… well.

Leo swallowed once, realizing he was still kneeling on the ground, his body uncomfortably hot. His skin ached from the heat, and he slowly withdrew from the flames, turning to see Draxum leaning against the doorway, arms crossed.

“Oh good, you’re done.” Draxum nodded at Huginn and Muninn before he uncrossed his arms and motioned Leo to approach by flicking his pointer finger towards himself. “Well? I don’t have all day.”

Leo stumbled to his feet, ducking his head. Draxum nodded, and then turned, picking up a pile of something from the dresser against the wall. Beside it, Leo could spot another object, a glass jar full of oozequitoes. “Here,” he said, shoving a bundle of things into Leo’s arms. “To cover up your apparent weak points. Put these on.”

The objects were heavy and warm to the touch; Leo almost dropped one before he managed to get a better grip, juggling the pieces of what looked like… his eyes flicked back to Draxum’s own gauntlets, almost identical to the ones now in his arms. Almost identical, that is, except for the number of fingers. The collar let out a beep and his grip tightened, small spikes from the gloves stabbing at his skin before he silently set them all down, picking up one of the similarly-colored armored socks and pulling it over his hurt ankle. The gold rim flashed as he moved, and he pulled on the other one as Draxum silently watched.

They were close enough to his old outfit that it was only the heaviness that really bothered him, a sensation of a ball and chain wrapped tight around each leg. He shivered despite the heat, and reached for the gloves. These were different; the second he slid them on it was like he now had claws or talons instead of nails, Leo opening and closing his hands in a kind of horrified fascination.

He didn’t like this color as much, he thought distantly. It was a darker green, Draxum’s green, and the black bandages peeking out from under the gauntlets and socks made the gold rims almost look like cuffs.

“Ooooh, custom tailored. I didn’t know you made him a set, Boss,” Huginn commented.

Muninn nodded enthusiastically. “ _Hot-cha_ , it’s a much better look for him!”

Huginn flew around Leo in one loop, and then frowned. “Doesn’t he look kind of weird now, though? Blue was kind of his trademark to wear wasn’t it?”

“Does he?” Muninn asked, blinking. He glanced over at Leo, as if waiting for a comment on it, and then hit his fist in the other hand. “You’re right… actually, rather than that, I think the turtles don’t like having their full faces bare… I’ve got it!”

Muninn pulled another strip of the bandages from the roll before he pulled the black fabric around Leo’s face. And it was a mask, yes; it was just a different _kind_ of mask. It covered his snout, resting just below his eyes and hiding his mouth, but leaving the top half of his face free. “And there! Now it’ll also help you keep from slipping up. Stylish _and_ useful!”

Leo opened his mouth to take a gulp of air; his breath washed hot against his face, the addition suffocating. His hands twitched, itching to rip it off, when Draxum suddenly moved, chuckling to himself. “Not bad,” he said, walking towards him, hands behind his back. “You actually look intimidating now.”

Leo shifted, looking at his feet as the yokai approached. “For your swords,” Draxum said, voice so low that Leo knew that if he had backed up even a few steps he would have missed it. A belt attached to two scabbards was pushed against his chest, and Leo fumbled, the strap awkward. Draxum watched, one arm remaining suspiciously out of sight, as Leo snapped it together at the center of his plastron, the belt looping across his shell and splitting to also wrap under his right arm.

That done, Leo bent down to collect his katanas, sheathing them on his back with only some slight hesitation. He didn’t understand what the point of all of this was. He looked back at Draxum, gaze trailing back to that arm tucked behind his back.

Draxum noticed and smiled, eyes narrowing in amusement. “Curious?” he asked. “It’s a gift for you, Green. Close your eyes.”

Leo felt his heartbeat pulsing in his throat as he slammed his eyes shut before the collar could remind him that it wasn’t his choice to obey or not. He felt something heavy get roughly shoved down over his head, a tight fit that locked in place. “There,” Draxum said, sounding like the cat that swallowed the canary. “I think you finally are starting to look like you’re fulfilling your purpose… you can look now.”

Leo blinked, one hand reaching up before he faltered as he realized that with the gauntlets on he wouldn’t even feel anything. There was something in the corner of his vision though, a gold that shimmered and glistened.

Draxum stepped back over to the orb and looked back at him, an open invitation. Leo approached it, this time the only thing he saw in the orb being his own reflection.

“It’s mystic metal, by the way,” Draxum said conversationally, clasping his hands behind his back. “So it shouldn’t conduct electricity… _ifff_ I was doing that right.” He rubbed his chin with one hand. “We might have to wait and see for that one.”

Leo didn’t really pay attention to the slightly cruel undertone of that comment. He’s frozen staring at his reflected self, at the gold helmet with short, curved horns that framed his face, serving as only a slight distraction to the shock of blue underneath his chin. And with the black, gold, and dark green colors all together like this…

Somehow, ~~Leo~~ Green looked right at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't originally ENTIRELY sold on the idea of giving Leo an entire outfit for this, but. On my discord server my friend Jin (tumblr @nebulabun) sketched Leo with Draxum's helmet coincidentally along the same train of thought, I mentioned that I had been considering it, cue everyone going wild and jumping in to help improve my terrible ten minute sketch (what would I do without you guys lol).  
> So anyways, the OFFICIAL reference of Leo in his new villain outfit is done by dovelydraws, and can be found [here!](https://dovelydraws.tumblr.com/post/629721138966183936/looks-like-im-finally-able-to-upload-this-i)


	16. Chapter Fifteen: My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a moment, a brief pause, in which the turtle stood there, petrified in place as his mind churned to the point of exhaustion. It was like being dunked under a tumultuous sea where he didn’t know the way back to the surface, because any attempts to move felt like a bigger effort than they should be. The knot for his new mask was pressed down against the back of his head by his helmet, the unfamiliar sensation at least giving him something to latch onto and try to focus on as he stood there staring at himself and struggling to breathe. He wasn’t sure if the black mask was preventing him from getting enough air or what, because he was getting light headed but his thoughts wouldn’t shut up long enough for him to even figure out what to do about– 
> 
> Where had Draxum gone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Spooky, an update. 
> 
> I think there was some arguing in the fandom lately on if Leo or Donnie was older? Let it be known, Donnie is three months older in my writing lol. Of course they don't know that, they just correctly guessed he was older based on heights as kids, but y'know. He's the older brother. Because protective older bros are a good trope, don't @ me lol. 
> 
> Also if you enjoyed Rise of the TMNT, the fandom is trying to get enough attention towards it on social media for it to be unpaused. If any of you guys that haven't already joined the efforts on Twitter to save the show, that'd help a lot! You can find more info by checking out @holymangos on Twitter, as she posts the schedules on how to help each week. 
> 
> [Fanart Tag](https://eternalglitch.tumblr.com/tagged/lfls-fanart) on Tumblr – Check out all of the amazing work! If this isn't the newest chapter when you're reading this, beware of spoilers, though!  
> You can also see a LFLS fanart story on my [insta](https://www.instagram.com/eternal.glitch/) for works not shared on Tumblr! I have a Twitter @eternalglitch as well, for retweeting art on there. <3  
> And again, thanks to all of the incredible fanartists. You guys are amazing. 
> 
> Chapter warning for heavier self deprecation and self hatred.

There was a moment, a brief pause, in which the turtle stood there, petrified in place as his mind churned to the point of exhaustion. It was like being dunked under a tumultuous sea where he didn’t know the way back to the surface, because any attempts to move felt like a bigger effort than they should be. The knot for his new mask was pressed down against the back of his head by his helmet, the unfamiliar sensation at least giving him something to latch onto and try to focus on as he stood there staring at himself and struggling to breathe. He wasn’t sure if the black mask was preventing him from getting enough air or what, because he was getting light headed but his thoughts wouldn’t shut up long enough for him to even figure out what to do about– 

Where had Draxum gone?

He jerkily glanced around, looking for the yokai. Draxum had stepped out of the room again, grabbing the glass jar of oozequitoes as he left. He hadn't said another word, so the mutant was left standing there to wonder what on earth he was supposed to do. He hadn’t missed another command, had he? His collar would alert him in a moment if he did– if he wanted to risk that.

He really, really didn’t.

He lingered for another moment, glancing around. Huginn was still in the room with him, although his counterpart seemed to have left. The gargoyle was watching him quietly, wings beating in what seemed to be in time with his suddenly very _loud_ heartbeat, so he went ahead and made his call.

He silently hurried after Draxum, Huginn landing onto his shoulder as he brushed past. Outside of the room he glanced down the hallway left and right before spotting Draxum obviously waiting. He was leaned against the wall, a contemplating look on his face as he stared back at Green.

 _Green_. It was a name that still felt all wrong, that shouldn’t be what he referred to himself in his head. But it fit better than other names. Leo didn’t turn his back on his brothers. Blue didn’t hurt people just because he was told to.

He thought that maybe Green was someone that would. Might as well get used to it now, right? It seemed like the thing a smart person would do. Make peace with what was, and all of that.

Not that he was smart. Like Draxum had said, he was stupid enough not to figure things out, stupid enough to end up in this whole situation. Just… stupid. A big, stupid, idiot that got his brothers hurt.

He tapped his fingers together, the sharp points of the gauntlets making little clicking sounds. He should just stop thinking. Clearly that wasn’t helping anything.

Green took a deep breath and refocused on Draxum. Muninn had settled onto Draxum’s shoulder already, while Huginn continued to perch on his own. It was odd; he had somewhat expected Huginn to go over to Draxum now, yet the gargoyle remained. The horns of the helmet obscured Green’s vision just enough that having the gargoyle so close to his neck made him feel vulnerable, but he supposed that the electric collar would, at the very least, serve to protect him from any sort of outwards attack. Worst case scenario a shock would be far worse for the person with a much smaller body size.

Whatever test this all was, he seemed to have passed, because Draxum nodded at him before turning and continuing to take the hallway down and hook a right to enter the lab area.

As they entered the room, Green paused again as Draxum glanced around at empty cages. “Hmph,” Draxum muttered, scowling down at one of them. “This is going to be a bother.”

“What’s wrong, Boss?” Muninn asked, peering at the offending cell. Green discretely averted his eyes; he could remember his first, uncomfortable night here in that one. He hoped that he wasn’t going to be told to go back in there after he had gotten used to the Nexus’ larger cell rooms. At least he could pace in those. “Aren’t we going somewhere?”

“For now,” the yokai replied. He glanced at Green from over his shoulder, and Green straightened up. “While I do believe that it was worth my efforts to finally achieve some actual results, there is no doubt that those other turtles are going to be an absolute aggravation moving forwards. We’re going to have to have some extra support for the time being if we want any chance of getting some work done.”

Draxum turned on his heel, striding towards him again. Green’s eyes flicked from side to side as he tried to figure out where to look, but then the glass jar was shoved against his plastron. His arms instinctively grabbed onto the object, the gauntlets still feeling clunky as they scratched against the glass. “Don’t drop it,” Draxum ordered. “And _don’t_ let those bugs out.”

Green nodded, unsure if it was even necessary when the familiar beep was answer enough.

Draxum reached out, and a portal snapped open in the middle of the lab. Huginn sat upright on Green’s shoulder, frowning. “How long are we gonna be gone? Do Muninn and I need to pack our pajamas–“

“It won’t be for that long.” Draxum’s voice is confident. “Garm and Freki will be waiting to welcome any guests we might have. As well as this,” he added, tossing a small seed in the ground. The lab’s floor rumbled slightly as a huge golem pulled itself to its feet and turned to stare at the four occupants of the room, emotionless red eyes glinting. “A fun surprise for those annoying turtles. And in the meanwhile…” He smiled. “I would say that it is high time that I show off my achievements.”

He glanced at Green again, and gestured at the portal. “Well? Don’t make me wait.” 

Green swallowed and hurried over to Draxum, glancing at the warrior scientist for a brief moment before he headed on through the portal.

The temperature plunged, Green blinking as he stepped onto a pathway that led into the sudden mountain in front of him. There was no door, merely a gaping entrance with carved fingers curling around the sides. Beyond that was darkness, save for the flickering light of dozens of emerald candles.

He craned his head upwards, the back of the helmet clinking against the edge of the shock collar as Draxum emerged from the portal behind him. It was a huge structure compared to what Green had seen of the underground, and an uneasy feeling twisted in his stomach as he dropped his gaze back to the large stone fingers. It almost looked like a giant was trying to force its way out of the mountain by cracking it in half from the inside out.

“Don’t say anything unnecessary,” Draxum ordered. Green let out a huff of air, his warm breath washing over the rest of his face as the face mask stifled the loudest complaint he could muster. It was only when Huginn snapped his mouth shut with a click that it even occurred to him that he wasn’t the one being told what to do, but apparently the collar didn’t know either. The answering beep played just the same, and Green’s grip tightened on the jar. 

Draxum strode forwards and he reluctantly followed, shivering slightly as the temperature dropped even further in the dark despite the many candles.

Inside was rocky, the candle’s dim light barely allowing for navigation. There was only the single path, which became even more apparent as the ground dropped away and the path became more of a bridge winding its way upwards. Green was almost glad that he was holding the oozequitoes, because at least they shed some extra light on where to step.

Draxum didn’t have the same hesitation: he plowed forwards, his hooves clicking as the back cloth attached to his waist swished behind him. They reached a stairwell, leading up until it looked like it abruptly stopped at a platform.

Draxum paused just as he put one foot onto the first step. “Don’t do anything to embarrass me,” he said lowly. The beep seemed much louder in the vast space, but it seemed to reassure Draxum as the sheep yokai started climbing again.

At the platform, there was nothing but a steep drop before them. A few huge stalagmites could be seen in the general area when Green turned around, looking for whatever they were here for, but that was it. Other than the darkness, there was nothing.

Draxum didn’t seem to be lost, though. He was staring intently forwards, into the pitch black, chin raised slightly. “Council,” he said, his voice ringing out in the empty space. “Are you not even going to receive me now?”

There was a sudden explosion of gold in the darkness, like the flash of a camera but even brighter. Green’s eyes swam and he resisted the urge to rub at them, turning his head away slightly so his horns hid the way that he was blinking from Draxum.

“We have warned you many times about this, Draxum,” the very wall in which they faced said, the eyes and mouth of what seemed like a living rock face spilling light over them. “We told you to cease your unnatural experiments and yet, time and time again, we have had to hear reports about your actions bringing attention and damage to our city.” 

Draxum scowled, and the wall to their right also lit up as another face stared them down. “The supposed warrior alchemist not only ignored our warnings, it seems like he’s bringing his ridiculous creations right to our doors. Are we really going to let this continue?”

“Why do you keep ignoring the actual issue at hand? I am trying to help stop the human threat,” Draxum snapped back. “Something that I actually have achieved _progress_ on. Tell me, how do things go on the Hidden City’s end? Are you not tired of cowering over a small patch of land under the dirt?”

“And this is your solution?” yet a third face spoke up, this one on their left, his eyes seemingly narrowed at Green. Green remained perfectly still, swallowing as he glanced uneasily at Draxum. Draxum’s fists were clenched, his expression dark as he stared ahead. “This is an offense against our very nature, Draxum,” the head continued. “You are aware that we have a limited space in the Hidden City. And while we are fine for right now, who knows what the near future will bring. What are you _thinking,_ adding to our population growth? With animals and humans, nonetheless?”

“Some scientist,” the head on the right sniffed. “You don’t even take basic data into consideration.”

“Basic data– I am seeing _results,_ ” Draxum insisted. “We’ll be able to go back onto the surface if all of the humans are mutated with my bugs–“

The first head glowered down at them. “All I am seeing here is an abomination, Draxum. Not a solution.” Green flinched, trying his best not to otherwise react. He stared down into the jar of oozequitoes, watching the bright green bugs tap against the glass, trapped. “Don’t think that we don’t know what you’re up to on the surface – we have an agent alerting us to the many “mutants” that you’ve created. This is going to stop, now. Do not make us arrest you for unlawful genetic manipulation.”

Draxum bared his teeth at the three heads, raising his chin in defiance. “You fools are willing to ignore the prophecy for this? My bugs and turtles will be game changers.”

“Then what,” the center head replied. “Are we supposed to do with your mutants once this threat is taken care of?” The head’s eyes shifted over to Green, who curled his toes as tightly as he could, trying not to allow any expression to cross his face. He could feel Draxum watching. “Is it even capable of thought?”

There was an expectant pause, as if the Council was waiting for him to talk. Green felt his stomach churn as he suddenly realized that he was in front of three apparently powerful yokai that weren’t interested in working with Draxum.

He opened his mouth slightly, the mask digging into his snout at the motion, fabric pressing against his beak. There was a chance that saying something, and seeing the subsequent shock, would make them sympathetic. Huginn, still perched on his shoulder, would also get hurt, but it would be worth giving the gargoyle a taste of what he went through on the regular for his freedom.

There was a chance.

But when he tried to just say _something_ , anything, tightening his muscles to brace for the shock, his voice didn't even come out. He stood there, breathing heavily, the black mask concealing his small sign of rebellion in the dark.

Green couldn’t do it. It was no different than when he had tried to write something down for Big Mama, he just– he just _couldn’t, what was wrong with him?_

He really was stupid.

“…It’s capable of following orders,” Draxum took over, crossing his arms. “And actually completing them, unlike _your_ agents. Remind me, how _is_ the Hidden City police force doing?”

None of the Council seemed to like that response. Their golden light glowed brighter, Green clutching the jar close as he turned his head to see if the path behind them was clear in case they had to quickly get out of here. It was because of this that he spotted the two figures running towards them before anyone else did.

“They are doing fine–“ the head on the right retorted, cutting herself off as a voice called out from behind them.

The policemen huffed as they scrambled up the stairs, the one with a beard not unlike the center head straightening up first. “Council!” he started, wings anxiously rustling into a folded position.

The right head blinked and then seemed to shake herself out of it. “Ah, just in time,” the right head said. “Arrest Baron Draxum, and anyone who aids him, under the decree of the Council, for unlawful genetic experimentations.”

“Baron Draxum?” the other cop asked, turning her head to stare at Draxum. She was purple, with her hair pulled back into a bun. “But we– that is!” She hurried past Draxum and Green to speak more directly to the heads. “There’s an issue in the Pirate Bazaar– part of the ceiling is crumbling.”

“It’s not good!” the winged cop agreed.

The purple cop nodded. “We need clearance to put all squads on that area.”

“Oh boy, again?” Huginn said, his ears flicking forwards. Green glanced at him, wrinkling his forehead. He hadn’t heard mention of any issues in the Hidden City before. “That’s the third time that area had problems this month.”

Muninn’s eyes widened. “The soft serve stand!” he gasped. “What if it gets ruined?”

“Quiet,” Draxum growled. The two gargoyles piped down, but Draxum scanned the heads and police as they continued to talk. “We’re leaving. I thought that they would be reasonable with my mutants here, but it seems they need more convincing.”

He turned and jumped, ignoring the stairs as he hit the ground and set off at a quick pace. Green glanced behind him, watching the police for a moment longer, before he also hurried down the stairs after Draxum. His ankle ached slightly with the motion, still not at the point where he could do as he pleased even if the support of the heavier socks was at least letting him move quickly.

“Hey!” the female cop shouted after him, but Green just picked up his pace until he stumbled back out of the mountain into the better lit Hidden City’s open space. 

He blinked, eyes aching as his pupils constricted against the light. Draxum was staring off into the distance, and when Green also looked he saw it: a chunk of the rock ceiling over the entire city crumbling, falling down onto the busy area underneath it.

An echo of the rumble of the head’s voices creeped out of the mountain behind them, and Huginn launched himself off of Green’s shoulder and back into the air, peering back into the darkness.

“Boss?” Huginn asked. “Draxum? I think we should get going. They seemed… serious about that arrest order.”

“They said something along those lines the last time I tried to show them my genius,” Draxum snapped. “They won’t actually do anything.”

Green shifted as another crash caught his attention. They were not that close, but he could swear he heard some screams as more of the ceiling to the Hidden City crumbled and fell.

More immediately, however, was the shouting of the police yokai as they came barreling towards the entrance to the Council’s chamber. The male one was in the lead, his wings clearly having given him a speed advantage, but Green could see the other one also running after him.

“Green,” Draxum said as the turtle started to back away from the entrance. The Baron smiled, one hand rested against his chin in thought. “Put down the bugs and deal with those two for me.”

Green’s eyes widened before he took a deep breath and let himself mentally switch gears with the tone of the collar. For a moment it was like he could see the Nexus’ door being drawn up, the cheer of the crowd ringing in his head. It was hard to explain the exact feeling but it was like watching a character in a video game with a non-player POV. Green was there, yet he was not.

He set the jar down before reaching back and drawing his two swords with a metallic hiss, the blades flashing in his hands. It felt different to hold them in his gauntlets rather than his bare hands, the sword hilts almost feeling like they clicked into place, the palm of the gauntlets allowing the curve of the hilts to easily rest in there with no chance of them sliding out.

Apparently he was taking just a moment too long; the collar let out another warning tone, the police yokai burst out of the entrance, and he _moved._

He spun, the blades cutting through the air as the policeman barely rolled out of the way, Green slashing at the place where he had just been. A few cut feathers fluttered to the ground. The yokai huffed, throwing a blue orb at Green, who deflected it by angling one of his blades so that the orb hit it and was sent bouncing. It expanded a moment after it hit the ground, and Green cast a wary glance to the side at the instant prison it created.

The winged yokai wound his arm back and threw another one, Green smacking that one out of the air and to the side. He advanced, swords at the ready, as he saw his opponent pale and start turning his head as he looked for his partner.

Green rushed for it, leaping into the air. He spun, coming around with both katanas levied to slash at his throat for a quick end to the fight, when a hoarse shout to his right alerted him to the other police officer’s arrival.

The female officer pointed a weapon towards him, it letting out a high pitched whine seconds before electricity shot from it in a straight line. Green’s eyes widened as his eyes stung with the onslaught blue light, his neck tingling.

It was too late to change his trajectory; the electric shock hit him, Green’s teeth clenching as his body spasmed, his momentum sending him crashing against the winged officer rather than successfully attacking him. They were both sent flailing, separating after they hit the ground and went tumbling in opposite directions.

Green gasped, his body tingling, as he blinked and rolled his head to the side. He was on the ground. No, no, he couldn’t be here. It was dangerous _the collar will go off again any second now_ – he forced himself to his feet, his breaths erratic and shallow.

“What the– you shouldn’t be able to move,” the woman cop shouted as her partner got back into the air.

Green staggered slightly before straightening up, his grip tightening on his katanas until his hands felt numb. The mask was hot against his face, and his stomach abruptly lurched. There was the faint scent of something burnt lingering in the air. Thoughts crowded in his head, demanding to be processed, but he shoved them away by force, shaking his head slightly before he shot forwards again, right at the purple yokai. He had to get rid of that electrical weapon first.

The other officer noticed and tried to dive between them, but Green slashed at his shoulder, causing him to yelp and fly higher to try and stop the wound from bleeding, blood dripping from underneath his hand.

Green kept running forwards, diving at the woman. She backed up, shooting electricity at him again. He sidestepped, watching it fizzle out before that whining sound started again as it recharged, Green using one katana to slash at the weapon and effectively slicing it in half.

The slashed half hit the ground with a clatter and Green body slammed her, sending her to the ground. As he positioned himself to sink the blades into her throat, he could briefly see her eyes behind the red visor that the police were both sporting, wide with surprise, before he drove the blades straight down–

“That’s enough.”

His swords changed course just in time to sink three inches deep into the stone beside his target’s head, the cop flinching as Green slowly raised his head to turn and look at Draxum.

The sheep yokai smirked. “I think we’ve proved our point, yes? We’ll be counting on you two _officers_ to tell the Council of your ineptitude.” He nodded at Green, who slowly wrenched his swords out of the ground and re-sheathed them, backing away.

The lion-like winged officer dropped to the ground beside his partner, helping her up. “Draxum,” she huffed, one hand reaching up to feel her neck. “You are breaking the law–“

Vines broke out of the ground and rose behind Draxum, the yokai’s eyes narrowing. “Go,” he ordered. “Before I tell my weapon to finish the job.”

They didn’t seem to need any more encouragement; the two yokai turned tail and ran back into the Council’s chamber. Green watched them go, his hands still tingling with the sensation of getting shocked. He picked the oozequitoes back up, the bugs buzzing angrily from within their prison, before looking back at Draxum for any indication of how he did.

Draxum, however, wasn’t paying attention. He narrowed his eyes as he turned and faced towards the Pirate Bazaar. “Some police force,” he said. “So those buffoons still think that they’re doing so well without my help, do they? That they should ignore Baron Draxum of all people?” He turned and flicked a finger forwards at Green. “Let’s show them just how wrong they are by making an example out of this situation. We’re going.”

* * *

* * *

Raph leaned against the doorway, his gaze lingering on the still figure laying on the gurney. Dad had said that Donnie was okay – mainly tired, if anything. His burns were all first degree, with the only exception being that his hand was a nastier second degree. Splinter had mentioned that he would be better with some sleep, but had also expressed concern that it was possibly an electrical burn. Apparently those were… worse? Raph didn’t fully understand, couldn’t fully grasp at what had happened to Donnie in the few minutes that he had left his brother’s side.

He entered the room and sat down on the gurney, shifting slightly as it creaked under his weight. It was older; they had found it at the junkyard and claimed it for the medical bay three years ago. It was much easier to get to than Donnie’s elevated bed in his own room, and this way he was right by all of the medical supplies.

He turned his head and watched Donnie for a moment, his brother’s chest rising and falling as the turtle twitched slightly in his sleep. Honestly it was the most rest Dee had gotten in weeks, and Raph knew that for a fact. He was almost jealous, because after that fight and the following race home, his brother’s limp form cradled in one arm, all Raph wanted to do was curl up with some teddy bears and pass out.

But he couldn’t do that: what if Donnie needed him? What if Mikey brought back news? It was bad enough that Raph was _here_ , and not wherever Leo was. Each moment they rested, each moment they paused, Leo was out there somewhere. Probably making snarky puns to make a grim situation feel bearable, and also probably getting to work on annoying Sheep Man to death, but he was also alone. And had been alone.

Was Leo afraid? Was he left holding his breath for his brothers?

When would he suffocate?

When would he drown?

The snapping turtle ran his hand over his face, tugging at his eyes like that would make him feel more awake. It was too quiet in here. He glanced over at the heart monitor sitting quietly in the corner. They had debated hooking it up, but their Dad had glanced at it with an alarmed expression and shook his head, hands fiddling together nervously. Only Donnie knew how to use the machine.

But it was– it was okay! Donnie was here, and he was… okay. Raph tried not to let his gaze linger on the stark white bandages covering his younger brother. His shoulder throbbed again and Raph hissed, messing with the makeshift sling that they had tied the arm to his chest with. He hadn’t expected the kraken to suddenly whip its tentacles to the side like that, hadn’t expected the two smaller figures to suddenly move and start running directly into the kraken’s line of attack. There was no time to consider options when fear was dumped down his spine in icy buckets and he found himself moving before he knew what hit him.

Perhaps not Raph’s smartest choice of attack, but he refused to regret it. He couldn’t exactly afford this injury right now, but the other possibility would have been worse. He glanced over at Donnie and nodded to himself. It would have been much, much worse.

The silence was getting to him. Donnie was right here, yet Raph felt oh so very alone. He hated it, hated that feeling. He pulled out his phone, opening it up. Like clockwork he popped in and out of apps: no missed voice calls, no voice messages, no texts, no emails. He finished his round and started to do it a second time without thinking, the gestures almost second-nature at this point. Never mind the fact that his phone was as loud as it could go and he would know if he got anything immediately.

 _You’re not gonna miss another call Raph, you know better now,_ he told himself sternly, but it didn’t seem to help.

He kept going, kept checking, because his thoughts were starting to get louder, his slight optimism being shoved down underneath murky waves of uncertainty. Could he crack his phone while jabbing the screen too hard? Probably. He had broken many phones as a kid, so it wouldn't shock him to find yet another way to do it.

He pulled up voice messages again, nothing, and was about to continue when a certain profile picture caught his eye.

Leo.

His thumb hovered over the message, Raph hesitating. He shifted, the phone’s glass screen tilting so that it caught his expression for a moment. He looked… tired. Tired, scared, nervous, nothing like the leader that he claimed to be at all. And then that glimpse at himself was gone, Leo’s grin staring back up at him again.

…He hadn’t heard his brother’s voice during that mess, had he? There had been no time, and Raph had failed to get him and Mikey close enough.

He bit his lip and turned down the playback volume before hitting play, scrunching his eyes shut as Leo’s message quietly started to creep into the room. It shouldn’t have been a message, he should’ve been on the other end of this call. But this train of thought was worn down, weeks old now, and Raph had grown numb to the pangs of guilt that were now constantly gnawing at his stomach. He had no choice but to let them bite; he had tried to shake off these feelings and had tried to believe Mikey’s words. But that hadn’t helped, and until Leo was home, he knew it never would.

Right now all he wanted to do was listen to his brother’s voice, trying to guess what Leo would say to him once they got him back. It was weird; whatever he tried, he couldn’t imagine a new sentence. Just the relieved _“Raph!”_ that faded into an exasperated grumble about his phone’s charge.

But the phone had been charged.

It had just been off.

He pressed his forehead against the phone, listening to Leo’s voice as the message stuttered to an end before starting over, looping in an ironic parody to his own thoughts as they grew too loud, loud enough that he couldn’t keep the darker thoughts at bay.

He counted to himself as he breathed in and out, in...

_He couldn’t pull the Bug Slapper back up, they were going to crash, he didn’t have time to think- he had to protect Mikey then, he had to do right by at least one of his little brothers..._

And out. In...

_He hadn’t noticed how light Donnie was on the regular, barely heavier than Mikey, but with the startling realization that his brother had fully passed out in his arms he wondered if he had always been so fragile..._

And out.

He was about to get lost in his own head, his ears starting to ring, when his thigh is lightly kicked by Donnie’s foot.

“Nnnnnngh,” Donnie grumbled, curling up into a tighter ball. His eyes blinked open, slightly unfocused, before Raph heard him take a sharp, cutting breath of air and he flung himself up into a sitting position.

“Donnie!” Raph greeted, relief thick in the word. He hastily fumbled with his phone, turning it off and ending the voice message playback.

“Where…” Donnie looked around, at a loss. He wavered slightly, and started to bring his hand up to press against his forehead before he stopped to stare at his cleanly bandaged limb. His forehead wrinkled, the lack of the mask and goggles making him seem much younger than he usually did.

Raph hovered over him, his one good hand out like he was ready to catch Donnie if he fainted again. “Are you okay? Dad said that your burns weren’t too serious except for your hand–”

“How much?” Donnie interrupted, turning sharply to stare at Raph. He reached out, grasping at Raph’s arm, headless of his injuries. “How much time have we wasted?”

 _Wasted._ There was a slight undertone of something sharp and bitter there, something that sent Raph back to the night in Donnie’s lab, his brother’s eyes narrowed in anger, his words piercing.

Raph bit his lip. Despite what Donnie thought, he knew that they were short on time. He did, he really did. But what could he say? That he argued with Pops for long enough about staying behind with Donnie that he really might have cost them time? “Just a little bit, Donnie, it wasn’t that long–“

“ _Wasn’t that long–_ Raph, are you hearing yourself right now? Please, please tell me that you guys went after him.” His brother looked up at his face, eyes shimmering. “ _Please._ ”

“I–“ His shoulder throbbed. Raph looked away, examining the graffiti on the walls. “Dad, April, and Mikey did. Don’t worry, they’re–“

 _Going to bring him home_ was something that he couldn't quite bring himself to say anymore. Maybe Raph would jinx it, or maybe he just couldn’t take any more disappointment. He closed his mouth, thinking, and then opened it again. “They’re going to figure out what’s going on.”

Donnie stared at him, his pupils little pinpricks in his eyes as he started to breathe faster, chest heaving with effort. As Raph started to grow concerned, Donnie tried to throw the blanket off of him and get to his feet. “Wait, don’t get up so quickly–“ Raph started.

Too late– Donnie’s knees started to buckle again, and Raph barely managed to catch him with one hand. “Ow, ow, _headache_ ,” Donnie muttered. Before Raph could say anything, he continued, voice wavering. “No, don’t worry, I’m _fine_. I’ll just take some pain medication so I’m at a better functioning capacity.”

“Uh, Donnie?”

“You said just a little bit, how long? Minutes? Hours?”

“Just under six hours or so...?" Raph guessed.

Donnie's beak clenched. "Shit." 

"Donnie, I don’t think you should–“

Donnie grabbed onto the gurney with his non-injured hand, waving Raph off. “The others aren’t going to be able to help Leo unless I’m with them. We need to go, _now_.”

Donnie paused.

“Where are the…?” He glanced back over at the bed.

Raph knew what he was looking for. He set the phone down beside him before he reached into his sling with his usable hand and withdrew two scraps of blue fabric. “Here,” he said softly. “Unless you’re looking for your goggles. We left those in your lab.”

Donnie didn’t move, staring at Raph’s open hand. His eyes flicked over to Raph’s sling, and then back up to his face. He reached out, gently touching the sling. “…you’re hurt.”

Raph let out a short, hoarse bark of a bitter laugh. “Yeah. So’re you, Don.”

Donnie nodded, shifting slightly from foot to foot. “Is it dislocated?” he asked hesitantly, withdrawing his hand.

Raph shook his head. “Nah, Pops said it was… sub-something. It popped back into place while I was carrying you back here all on its own.”

“Subluxated,” Donnie filled in vacantly. “That’s good.” He stared off to the side, his gaze hazy, and Raph felt a prickle of fear. Something was off. Like, of course _something_ was off with the whole situation being what it was, but something here was _off._ He didn’t think Donnie was usually so distracted, injured or not. Did he have a concussion?

“Here,” Raph coaxed, holding Leo’s mask tails out even farther so Donnie would take them.

Donnie glanced down and then reached for them, his fingers curling slightly as he faltered. He slowly picked the mask tails up, treating them like they were a mint-condition comic book. “Right. Right, yes, your phone– I’m not sure where mine is, if it even works anymore, but we need to call Michael right now because–“ Donnie hesitated again. “I’ll explain on the way.”

Raph grabbed his arm as he turned to go, careful to avoid any bandages, before also getting to his feet. “Just tell me what’s wrong now.” Donnie remained quiet. Okay, so he needed a bit more of a push. Raph could handle that. He tried again. “Donnie, what hurt you like this? Did your tech malfunction–?”

“No!” Donnie bit out, shoulders tensing. “My tech always works _fine._ It wouldn’t malfunction like that.” He averted his eyes, studying the blue mask tails instead.

Raph pulled back slightly, giving Donnie a doubtful once-over. That wasn’t exactly true– Raph could think of many instances where Donnie’s technology had gone haywire, leaving a huge mess as a result. From some of April’s past science experiments, to Albearto, to even S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.– which, to be fair, was because his programming had been messed with, but still. Technically Donnie’s tech.

Pointing that out seemed like a bad plan, though. Clearly Donnie was upset about something, so Raph should let him process that according to Mikey. But still, the red turtle couldn’t figure out what was so secretive about how he got hurt. What could have possibly happened that Donnie couldn’t say? What more bad news could there be? Was he just ashamed that he wasn’t good enough at fighting during the Nexus’ rescue attempt? Because, if so, he wasn’t alone.

Raph’s shoulder throbbed.

Ergh, emotions like this were just so– he just– he couldn’t punch emotions! He wasn’t _good_ at navigating these kinds of situations, in which brute force got one nowhere. Mikey was the one that had talked to Donnie last time they had argued for a reason. Because no matter how badly that Raph wished it…

…he just wasn’t enough on his own.

And normally that wasn’t an issue. He had his planning and jokes guy, and his emotions and energy guy, and his tech and calculating guy. But take even one of those away and Raph was left facing the realization that it wasn’t _enough._

Donnie tugged against Raph’s hold in an attempt to free his arm, but the larger turtle held on. Raph took a deep breath. “We can’t rescue Leo if we’re fighting–”

“Who said we're fighting?” Donnie shot back. “I said I’d tell you on the way. Now let go.”

“I’m not gonna let go!” Raph argued. “How did you get hurt?”

“We’re wasting time–“

“You look like you’re going to fall over at any moment, Donnie, it wouldn’t help even if we did go after the others–“

“I’m fine, I can handle myself,” Donnie started to snap, his voice rising, but Raph cut him off.

“Well I _can’t_.” His voice failed him, cracking on the last vowel. “I can’t use one of my arms right now and I need both of my tonfas in order to use my mystic powers.” Donnie’s eyes widened, and he stopped leaning away from Raph, paying attention to his brother’s words again. “I know that you want to help Leo. And I know that I’m constantly holding the team back when we need to be more on top of this than ever before, and I’m _sorry,_ okay? But rushing back into this isn’t going to make things right.”

With nothing else to say, Raph released his hold on Donnie’s arm, but the other turtle didn’t try to leave. Donnie crossed his arms, spine curving as he hugged his own plastron. “I didn’t mean…” he started. He stopped and licked his lips. “About Leo… and my injuries…”

Raph’s phone suddenly let out an ear screeching alarm, both turtles jumping. Raph fumbled as he tried to snatch the phone back off of the gurney, flipping it over to read the alert and image the Lair’s defense system had sent to his phone. The latest update of Donnie’s.

“They’re back,” Raph said, letting out the breath he hadn’t realized that he had been holding at the sight of the security camera’s pictures of their family members. He tried not to linger on their missing brother. He would hear how bad it was in a minute.

It would take them a moment to traverse the ladders to get to the med area, so Raph knew there was only another minute alone with Donnie. He had to say something quick.

But as he stood there, the moments ticking down, he remained at a loss. If he didn’t know what was wrong, how could he possibly help?

The moment passed, and the patter of footsteps quickly approached the room. “Donald!” Mikey cried out from behind them. April followed on the youngest’s heels as he raced over to them, wrapping Donnie in a tight hug and lifting his taller brother off of the floor slightly. “You’re awake!”

“You scared us, Dee,” April added, lightly punching Donnie’s shoulder. “You all right?”

Donnie winced, Mikey quickly letting go of him as the softshell reached back to feel his back. “…Never mind that,” Donnie said, his jaw tensing. “Where is Leo?”

Raph stepped up from behind Donnie and gave the other two a scan for injuries. New scrapes and scratches were left all over their limbs, and Raph swallowed when April met his gaze and gave him a slight, somber shake of her head.

“We went straight to Draxum’s castle after splitting up, as promised,” she said. “But Leo wasn’t there.”

“And Draxum?” Raph asked.

Mikey scowled at the ground and kicked at it with his foot. “Also gone. His two demon guards– the two that had gone after Mayhem– jumped us when we tried to look around. With Dad’s help I managed to get inside and look around, but…” The box shell turtle shook his head. “There was that same huge monster in there that attacked us when we first met Draxum. And Pops seemed to freeze up once we were inside… Raph, what do we do?”

“Where’s Dad now?” Raph asked, his mouth dry.

April raised her head. “Went back into his room. He looked… bad. Not hurt, but…” She rubbed her other arm with one hand. She wasn’t new to Splinter’s bad days and weeks, but Raph guessed that she hadn’t seen one up close and personal in a while. Not like everyone else had.

But Draxum’s _lab_? Much as he suspected that Dad wished that they would forget what Big Mama’s conversation had let slip, they all knew Dad apparently knew Big Mama and Draxum. Somehow. Like that made a lot of sense.

But Dad _was_ a mutant, just like them… so it wasn’t just Donnie that Raph needed to get the full story from.

Okay. Okay. So one step at a time, he needed to gather more info. Dad’s connection to all of this could wait, the main concern here remained to be Leo. And with Draxum’s portals, who knew where he had taken their brother. Raph ran his hand down his face again, thinking. “No other clues? Did those two freaks say anything to you?”

“No. I’m… I’m really worried, Raph.” Mikey’s voice was small, the person in question’s neck slightly lowered into his shell. “Are we back to square one?”

“We’re _not_ ,” Raph refuted. His mind scrambled in vain looking for answers, reassurances, but nothing quite came to mind. “We didn’t quite nail that rescue, yeah? But we’ve still got time to go save Leo before he gets seriously hurt. We can start with piecing together the actual story of what happened that made him leave with Draxum like that.”

April and Mikey nodded, determination glinting in their eyes. Donnie didn’t move, staring down at his hands, and the sliver of blue clutched in one of them, for a long moment before he chuckled.

“Haha.” The laugh cut through the tense atmosphere like a knife, April, Mikey, and Raph all stopping to turn and stare incredulously at Donnie. The turtle leaned slightly against the gurney, a sardonic smile cracking across his face when he raised his head and met Raph’s eyes. “It’s too late, Raph.”

“Uh, Donnie?” April’s eyebrows furrowed, her expression perplexed. “What are you saying right now?”

“I’m saying,” Donnie said, his tone lilting upwards, some joke he hadn’t told hidden in his voice. “That Leo is already seriously hurt.”

“…Donnie that’s not funny,” Mikey whispered.

Donnie blinked and stared at Mikey. “I never said it was.”

All right, that was it. Donnie was clearly overthinking things again, and Raph had to snap him out of it somehow. “Donnie, just tell us what happened. If you don’t cut it out with your middle child nonsense–“

“Well maybe I should keep it up since I _am_ the only middle child right now!” Donnie retorted back at him, shoving himself back away from the gurney. He left the blue pieces of fabric behind on the surface of the makeshift bed, and stumbled slightly, swinging his head up to fix Raph with a glare. “Leo is gone, Raph! He’s gone and do you want to know why? Do you want to hear about why that is?”

The sick feeling in Raph’s stomach got worse. He couldn’t deal with more guilt and doubt, he realized, but he didn’t have any choice but to accept whatever Donnie threw his way. Donnie was the smarter one, and if Raph had really messed up in another huge way, he had to be willing to hear that. He was the big brother and the leader, he had to– he had to listen.

The youngest turtle looked between them wildly, head turning, as he also processed what was about to happen. “Stop–“ Mikey tried, but it was too much, too late, tensions heightened and emotions running wild.

“Donnie, please listen, you shouldn’t–“ April tried to chime in, but she was also cut off by Donnie’s answer.

“I already have!” Donnie told her, angry tears puddling in the corners of his eyes. He turned and glared at Raph, but it wasn’t anger directed at him. It was something else. “I already basically handed my younger brother over to Baron Draxum on a silver platter! Is that what you wanted to hear, Raph? _Is it?”_

Silence.

That. That was not what he had expected Donnie to say.

“What– what do you mean by that?” April asked.

Donnie shook his head, looking down as tears ran down his cheeks and dripped onto the floor. He swiped at them with his left arm, starting to turn away.

“Donnie, _what are you talking about?”_ Raph grabbed his shoulder, turning him back around. He searched his brother’s eyes, trying to read an explanation in them. “You didn’t have anything to do with this. Big Mama took Leo and– and traded him off to Draxum or something. You were uninvolved with that!”

Donnie let out a strangled noise from the back of his throat. “You’re wrong, Raph. Do you remember…” He looked up at Raph, eyes gleaming as more tears dripped from them. “Do you remember when I made you guys those gifts a little while back?”

He was trying to change the topic again. “What are you…” Raph started, but Mikey looked up.

“Th…That jumpsuit for me, right? I can go get it if you need it for something...”

Donnie’s gaze shot to Mikey and his mouth twisted. “You still have it?” The words dripped out of his mouth with disgust. “No. No, I don’t– no.”

Mikey wilted again, frowning. Raph was also puzzled. So Donnie felt guilty… and was bringing up some old gadgets he had made for them. He was missing something here. “Well, my helmet was destroyed,” he said carefully. “So that can’t help us. And Leo’s…” Actually, he hadn’t seen Leo’s gift since that whole Meatsweat’s fiasco. “I have no idea where that went.”

“Wait.” One of April’s hands slowly rose to press against her mouth. She stared at Donnie, and Raph could practically hear the gears in her head spinning as her shoulders tensed and she started to pale. “Donnie, what was it that you made for Leo again?”

Donnie shook his head, shrinking in on himself.

“Donnie, what was it?” she pressed. “We can’t do anything if you don’t tell us.”

Donnie started shaking his head harder, reaching up with shaking hands to press them over his tympana. He let out a shaky gasp that bubbled into a sob, his body wracked with shivers.

Mikey, normally the first to go offer support, remained frozen, his eyes widening until they physically couldn’t get any bigger. “A neck piece,” he whispered. “It was a blue neck piece… but I saw… I thought that was just…”

Their friend turned to look at Raph, her expression stricken. “Guys, what did that do?”

Mikey’s gaze shot over to Raph, filled with fear, but Raph didn’t get it, didn’t see. “It stopped him from making puns by–”

His eyes shot over to their brother who was bruised, battered. Burned by some kind of electric shock. 

_“But we can’t leave it here!” Donnie begged him, the turtle weakly twisting in his arms as he tried to scramble for his lost tech._

Raph had thought he had been in shock, that he was just overreacting.

He had been concerned with the wrong kind of shock.

“I didn’t want this, guys.” Donnie’s voice was small. “It was a gift, I didn’t mean… I didn't think…”

Mikey reached out, grabbing onto Raph’s shell, the orange turtle leaning slightly against him for reassurance. “But that– it just made it so Leo couldn’t use puns, right? That’s not so bad.”

It was like hitting the wrong option in a video game: Donnie’s face closed off, and he turned away, his expression hardening.

“Not so bad,” he repeated to himself. Then, louder. “Not so _bad?_ You think I would set my tech to shock someone bad enough to leave _burns?”_ he spat. Mikey drew back, clinging even tighter to Raph. April’s eyes watered, but Donnie kept going as Raph himself could only stand there as everything fell apart. “I didn’t hear Leo say anything, let alone a pun. That isn’t my programming anymore. In fact, I have no _idea_ what my tech is doing exactly, except that it’s being used to hurt Leo.” Donnie started pacing, his gait still unstable. “You actually thought that I could do this if you sent me to retrieve him, but I couldn’t! In fact, it’s worse than that, because I bet that out of everyone Leo could’ve seen he would’ve preferred anyone but _me._ ”

Donnie turned his head to peer at Raph from the corner of his eye, and Raph was startled at the sheer hate he saw there. But it wasn't hate aimed at him, no. It was the kind of hatred that burned brighter and brighter until there was nothing of the owner left but an empty husk.

Hatred of himself.

“Isn’t that awful?” Donnie asked them, his voice raising and raising until he was practically screaming. “You can blame me! I deserve it! I deserve to be in Leo’s shoes right now because if what I think is happening is happening, then this is my tech’s doing.”

“No– no, you didn’t mean to hurt him, Donnie,” April tried, stepping forwards and grasping her brother’s shoulders, stopping him from pacing as he worked himself up. “I know you, and that wasn’t you. It would never be you. It was someone else.”

Donnie reached up for one of her hands, looking like he was about to shove it off of his shoulder. But he hesitated, his non-injured hand gripping onto one of her wrists, before his face crumpled. He held on, clutching April’s hand and pressing it against his shoulder like a lifeline. “But I still _built_ that,” Donnie sobbed, his voice breaking as angry tears kept trickling down his face. “Don’t you all see? I– I built a _shock collar_ for my little brother. I gave it to him as a _gift_ and I'm... I'm just as bad as the villains that took him.” He closed his eyes. “Stop looking at me like that, it’s true, I know that it is…” Donnie sagged against April. He was gasping for breath, and Raph worried that he was going to get sick.

“No, okay, Donnie, listen.” Raph said, stepping forwards. Donnie peered up at him, eyes already rimmed red, but at least he was paying attention. “I missed Leo’s phone call. That was on me. And because of that, Leo was taken in the first place. If you could forgive me for that then–“

“But isn’t that worse?” Donnie whispered, his face hidden as the teenager bowed his head against April’s shoulder. “Isn’t it so much worse that I blamed you when it was me all along?”

April carefully maneuvered her arms around the turtle to hug him, the fourteen-year-old not responding as he remained stiff against her embrace.

Mikey fidgeted, raising one hand slowly. “If it’s your fault that Leo is hurting just because it happens to be your tech, Dee, then it’s my fault that Draxum got close to him in the first place today.”

April also nodded solemnly. “I could have brought you guys a pizza if I had just known that you wanted it from a human store,” she said quietly. “So it could be my fault he went to an area that wasn’t safe in the first place. If you’re looking for something to feel guilty about, you’ll find it. Don’t let that thought win, Donnie.”

Raph nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Look, Don, I get it. I won’t pretend like I haven’t been heaping the self-blame on myself these past few weeks–“

“ _Raph–_ ” Donnie choked out.

“But! That doesn’t help! And as the biggest brother, when I say that this isn’t on you, it isn’t on you. We all could have done something to stop things from getting this bad, but we didn’t know. There was no way we could have.”

“Yeah, exactly!” April pushed. “We aren’t blaming _any of us_ for this, it’s not our fault that this happened.”

Donnie pulled back from April, glancing at them uneasily. “But it’s _my fault,_ ” Donnie grasped at, rubbing at his face with one forearm. It didn’t help; he just spread his tears all over his face. He sounded puzzled, like they had looked at a one plus one problem and told him the answer was eleven. “Draxum probably wouldn’t have done any of this if he didn’t have my tech. And that’s all Leo knows right now, so– so even if you guys somehow don’t blame me, I know Leo does. I’m sure of it.”

Mikey and Raph exchanged glances, and then, consensus reached, Mikey raced forwards, nearly picking Donnie up with a crushing hug. “He doesn’t think that,” the box shell turtle whispered. “You know he doesn’t.”

“And… and if he does,” Raph continued gently, pulling them both into a group hug. “We’ll save him first, and then you can apologize, okay? We can fix this.”

April joined them, the four holding on tight. “But…” Donnie trailed off, his eyes seeking out each of theirs in turn in the hug pile. “I don’t think I can.”

“Well good news, then, Dee. We’re not in this alone,” April murmured.

Mikey nodded. “We’re family. We’ll do it. Together.”

Their brother sniffled, his legs giving out so that it was only the others clinging to him that allowed him to remain standing. “You’re not alone, got it?” Raph finished, and it was half for himself that he said it, the words sitting warm in his chest in sharp contrast to the icy horror that remained from everything else.

“…got it,” Donnie mumbled, his voice still choked as fresh tears trickled down his face.

He didn’t sound convinced.


End file.
